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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think husband is awfully petty

297 replies

teomama · 22/02/2023 18:17

Can’t believe I’m actually writing this, but my husband got upset because I opened a box of chocolates that his sister gave him for his birthday and ate a few of them. I laughed it out at first, but he insisted it was rude to open his present. I think that’s incredibly petty and actually feel offended to be told off like a child. AIBU?

OP posts:
LuckyPeonies · 22/02/2023 19:49

teomama · 22/02/2023 18:44

It’s a box of chocolates, and I didn’t think it would be too horrible to have a few as the box was just laying around. Obviously I concluded wrongly that because I wouldn’t mind him opening something on the kitchen table, he wouldn’t either.

2 chocolates is very minor, it’s not like you ate most (or all) of the box. He shouldn’t hold a grudge since you apologized, but since you now know he does mind, in future just ask and I bet he would be happy to share. 😉

thelinkisdead · 22/02/2023 19:49

I never vote on these but YABU. In our house we love a selfish present that we’ll share & both enjoy (wine, chocolates etc etc) but it’s up to the receiver to decide when it gets opened!!!!

Teapots1991 · 22/02/2023 19:50

He's right.

afinishedkiss · 22/02/2023 19:50

I’d burst ya.

Smoky1107 · 22/02/2023 19:51

YABU. They were his and you shouldn't have opened them

Itdjgsurchg · 22/02/2023 19:51

I’ve put YABU because I would be annoyed if my husband opened my chocolates but it’s very hypocritical because I have just opened my husband’s chocolate popcorn he got for a secret Santa present. It’s been in the cupboard for two months! Not sure whether to eat it all now and hide the evidence or save some for him in case he gets annoyed.

Pixie18 · 22/02/2023 19:51

teomama · 22/02/2023 19:21

I’ve been called a dick, twat, very disrespectful, mannerless, greedy for eating two chocolates and apologising for it.
Surely not the best thing to do, but using this language is not really great either. I regret posting it - you really made me feel like shit. Thanks to everyone who conveyed their thoughts politely.

Gosh i hope you are ok. Some very hateful responses on here and cant believe some of the name calling!! My husband would not care if i did this just Fyi… and same goes if he did it to me. We share things … we are husband and wife after all …

wtfisgoingonhere21 · 22/02/2023 19:51

@teomama

Just because they aren't hidden away somewhere doesn't mean there a free for all though does it.

In my house dh and the dc know not to help themselves before asking or checking first.

If somethings been bought specifically for someone it's not ok for other family members to open it and crack on.

It did used to happen sometimes and I'd be pissed off enough to remind them if I just helped myself to things they had specifically been given or bought they'd be pissed off.

Hbh17 · 22/02/2023 19:53

It is never OK to open - let alone consume - something that belongs to someone else. Show some respect.

Original poster
teomama · 22/02/2023 19:53

Hey, @wtfisgoingonhere21 sure, a reminder is OK, the name calling and anguish here is another level.

OP posts:
TheNyx · 22/02/2023 19:53

Yes you were rude, I wouldn't open a present someone else got my partner (unless it was something I knew he didn't like and even then I'd ask first!)

A present or even just something he'd bought himself as a special treat is not the same as normal food left around the kitchen

Bryonny84 · 22/02/2023 19:54

They were his gift. If the box was already opened then having one or two without asking might be OK but you should wait to be offered. In our house it would not be OK lol. DP's chocolates are his and his alone. Would you be happy if he opened your gifts and helped himself?

stripedsox · 22/02/2023 19:55

Can't believe this is so ott response to op. No it wasn't right to open his present BUT the name calling, there are some real twats on here tonight.
Some Mners are becoming more stupid, paranoid and pathetic by the day.

WaddleAway · 22/02/2023 19:55

stripedsox · 22/02/2023 19:55

Can't believe this is so ott response to op. No it wasn't right to open his present BUT the name calling, there are some real twats on here tonight.
Some Mners are becoming more stupid, paranoid and pathetic by the day.

100%.

AfraidToRun · 22/02/2023 19:56

Biscuits I wouldn't care, but chocolates!? that's a grudge for life.

Original poster
teomama · 22/02/2023 19:56

@Bryonny84, I'm OK with the family helping themselves to wine, sweets, etc.

OP posts:
fluffiphlox · 22/02/2023 19:58

I’d do my nut if you did that to me.

wtfisgoingonhere21 · 22/02/2023 19:58

@teomama
Yeah I'm not sure why people are being personally rude with name calling that's just shit.

Anyhow you apologised for being in the wrong and accept that (I think?) so all done and dusted surely??

TheNyx · 22/02/2023 19:59

Obviously no one should be name calling though

Op was a bit rude and a bit oblivious but everyone can be at times and it's not like the worst thing she could've done

MummyJ36 · 22/02/2023 19:59

LOL at the pearl clutching about opening a box of chocolates

venus7 · 22/02/2023 19:59

teomama · 22/02/2023 18:22

We normally help ourselves to whatever is in the kitchen without asking specifically

But they were a gift....not part of your groceries.

Duckingella · 22/02/2023 20:01

My husband does stuff like this all the time to me and I find it really upsetting and disrespectful as I don't do it to him.Something brought as a gift to someone isn't fair game.

YABVU.

Dumbo18 · 22/02/2023 20:02

I couldn’t get worked up over this, if it’s in the kitchen cupboard it’s a free for all. In fact I’m pretty sure DP ate all the best chocolates out of my celebrations but thankfully I’m not easily offended

Wheresthebeach · 22/02/2023 20:02

They were a gift - of course you ask before opening and helping yourself. That's basic manners 101. Doesn't matter how much effort you put into his birthday, doesn't give you the right to open, and eat some of his stuff. You ask...and he shares. Jeepers.

Original poster
teomama · 22/02/2023 20:03

@wtfisgoingonhere21, yes, we're fine :) I apologised for opening the box, and said I understand he would have liked to try them first.

OP posts: