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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think husband is awfully petty

297 replies

teomama · 22/02/2023 18:17

Can’t believe I’m actually writing this, but my husband got upset because I opened a box of chocolates that his sister gave him for his birthday and ate a few of them. I laughed it out at first, but he insisted it was rude to open his present. I think that’s incredibly petty and actually feel offended to be told off like a child. AIBU?

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 22/02/2023 20:25

teomama · 22/02/2023 18:22

We normally help ourselves to whatever is in the kitchen without asking specifically

Which is fine if it's shopping from Waitrose. Can you really not see that an unopened gift is different?

cassiatwenty · 22/02/2023 20:26

@Wheresthebeach I misread the title too why is my husband pretty Grin

Cocobutt · 22/02/2023 20:28

I wish there was a YABVU button for threads like these.

I’m not going to call you names but opening or eating something that was meant for someone else is obviously out of order and you know it.

If you got some new face cream or a bottle of wine and he opened it and used some of it before you had planned to, you would be annoyed too.

Wheresthebeach · 22/02/2023 20:29

cassiatwenty · 22/02/2023 20:26

@Wheresthebeach I misread the title too why is my husband pretty Grin

😂😂

Zone2NorthLondon · 22/02/2023 20:29

Christ, you’re so in the wrong and unrepentant about it too. Apologise and replace the chocolates

SleepingStandingUp · 22/02/2023 20:32

teomama · 22/02/2023 18:31

I did apologise. I organised his birthday, made a booking, ordered a cake and bought him something he’d wanted for a long time. To be told off over a few candies really seemed petty to me after a good day.

Not of that makes it ok for you to just take one of his gifts for yourself tho.

Starlitestarbright · 22/02/2023 20:35

This has daily mail written all over it.My dh ate my easter egg after consuming his own I wasn't happy.

Hankunamatata · 22/02/2023 20:36

They were his box of chocolate that he got as a gift. You don't open other people gifts and help yourself.

Silverbook · 22/02/2023 20:40

I've actually moaned at my DH for doing this to me. Once they are opened I think it's fair game but I like to have first pick if they were gifted to me.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 22/02/2023 20:41

Helping yourselves to whatever is in the kitchen is irrelevant. You knew it was his gift and you opened it regardless. Shows a basic lack of respect, and it was wrong.

DarkDayforMN · 22/02/2023 20:44

I wouldn’t mind, and I don’t think my DP would mind either, though I’d still ask first. But your husband is definitely not being unreasonable or petty to mind!

I think you are being much more unreasonable for dismissing his reaction, than for eating a chocolate in the first place.

LilyPark · 22/02/2023 20:44

Sounds like massive overreaction to me. Very surprised by other posters' comments. My husband might tease me a bit about it but that would be it.

LuluLehman · 22/02/2023 20:45

It is really not OK to open chocolates given as a gift unless the giftee tells you it's all right to do so.

Somethingneedstochange78 · 22/02/2023 20:47

He's right you could have at least asked. I would be annoyed especially if you eat my favourites. You owe him a box of chocolates.

Heatherjayne1972 · 22/02/2023 20:48

Wow. That’s so rude and incredibly disrespectful
they weren’t yours to open

I’d be really upset in your husbands position.

feelingfree17 · 22/02/2023 20:52

It was his present. I think you are being dis-respectful. Had you asked, it would be a different matter.

Zooeyzo · 22/02/2023 20:57

No need to be rude to the OP she must feel terrible now.

steff13 · 22/02/2023 20:58

teomama · 22/02/2023 19:56

@Bryonny84, I'm OK with the family helping themselves to wine, sweets, etc.

It's fine that you're ok with it. Your husband isn't, and he's not wrong to feel that way.

Whambamthankumam · 22/02/2023 20:59

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the user's request

Rinkydinkydoodle · 22/02/2023 21:00

I was coming on to ask ‘what did you do for his birthday and was that his only gift?’ But I see you did a lot. I am in a minority -clearly - but I reckon I can spare my life partner a couple of chocolates. I mean, unless it turns out they were the last box Willy Wonka ever made.
Seems just a teeny bit small to be handing out a row to your beloved who gave you a lovely day. I’d have the slight ick from that tbh🤣 Glad you’re good though!

jays · 22/02/2023 21:01

Heatherjayne1972 · 22/02/2023 20:48

Wow. That’s so rude and incredibly disrespectful
they weren’t yours to open

I’d be really upset in your husbands position.

oh get a grip! Do you actually hear yourself? For the love of god…. The outrage, the hurt, the pain, the indignation …. Ffs! 😂 pull yourself together!

ThreeRingCircus · 22/02/2023 21:06

I cannot understand why you are offended that he was upset? Opening someone else's present is a horrible thing to do and spoils their enjoyment of the gift! How is this not completely obvious to you?

If DH opened my present and greedily helped himself without even asking me and then called me petty for being upset he'd really go down in my estimations.

I'm not surprised he told you off like a child, it's the sort of thing a toddler does because they have no impulse control and haven't learned boundaries yet.

Springpetal · 22/02/2023 21:07

I’d never do that ,if it’s not mine ,I don’t eat it

jays · 22/02/2023 21:10

Cocobutt · 22/02/2023 20:28

I wish there was a YABVU button for threads like these.

I’m not going to call you names but opening or eating something that was meant for someone else is obviously out of order and you know it.

If you got some new face cream or a bottle of wine and he opened it and used some of it before you had planned to, you would be annoyed too.

How do you know she’d be annoyed? Because you would? So OP must feel the same way you do? Wouldn’t bother me if dh opened my wine or used my face cream. We’re all different.

WaddleAway · 22/02/2023 21:12

jays · 22/02/2023 21:10

How do you know she’d be annoyed? Because you would? So OP must feel the same way you do? Wouldn’t bother me if dh opened my wine or used my face cream. We’re all different.

Show quote history

Exactly this. Honestly I wouldn’t care at all if my DH opened my wine or face cream, as long as he didn’t use all of it in one go! Why do people assume everyone would feel like them?