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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think husband is awfully petty

297 replies

teomama · 22/02/2023 18:17

Can’t believe I’m actually writing this, but my husband got upset because I opened a box of chocolates that his sister gave him for his birthday and ate a few of them. I laughed it out at first, but he insisted it was rude to open his present. I think that’s incredibly petty and actually feel offended to be told off like a child. AIBU?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 22/02/2023 18:48

I wouldn't do it.

Look OP, they were his, he doesn't want you to help yourself to one of his gifts. Just apologise and lay that line in the sand for future reference.

Heyhoitsme · 22/02/2023 18:49

Do you open his mail too? You know you did wrong.

bigbluebus · 22/02/2023 18:49

All food and drink in our house is available for all EXCEPT anything that has been bought as a gift. We would only have some of that (be it chocolates, wine, gin, whisky) if offered by the person to whom it was gifted.
I'm sorry but I'm with your DH.

VintageThoughts · 22/02/2023 18:49

What??

If he got some cash in a card would you help yourself to that too?

Yabvu. And extremely rude.

BeStrongLittleRodney · 22/02/2023 18:50

YABVU- his present, only to be shared if he offered.

TwinsAndTiramisu · 22/02/2023 18:51

Yes OP, you did indeed conclude wrongly.

Are you honestly trying to justify there's no difference between routine household grocery food, and a birthday present. Because it was left in the kitchen.

Terrible greedy manners on your part. And especially with the "and I got him a present myself" like that should be a notable act, as his wife.

JimHensonWasAGenius · 22/02/2023 18:51

Also, part of the joy of getting a nice box of chocolates is in the opening of them and getting first choice, so you took that away from him too.

Guis · 22/02/2023 18:52

Well they were not yours. I am sure he would have shared them with you. What he is peeved about is your lack of respect to ask.

JustAnotherOpinion21 · 22/02/2023 18:52

teomama · 22/02/2023 18:31

I did apologise. I organised his birthday, made a booking, ordered a cake and bought him something he’d wanted for a long time. To be told off over a few candies really seemed petty to me after a good day.

That's all irrelevant. The chocolates were a gift to him, not you.

dogdaydown · 22/02/2023 18:55

teomama · 22/02/2023 18:44

It’s a box of chocolates, and I didn’t think it would be too horrible to have a few as the box was just laying around. Obviously I concluded wrongly that because I wouldn’t mind him opening something on the kitchen table, he wouldn’t either.

When you say they were laying around, what should he have done with them? Put them in the safe? Anywhere he placed them would be laying around surely?

Mammyloveswine · 22/02/2023 18:56

This would have pissed me right off of my husband did this!! It's rude and disrespectful!

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 22/02/2023 18:56

Also if you are miffed because his telling off ruined a “good day” where you’d ordered the cake etc it sounds like you opened them on the day of his birthday or birthday celebration.

So hardly like they’d been “laying around” for weeks

Couldyounot · 22/02/2023 18:56

I wouldn't be best pleased with anyone who did this to me. It's less about pettiness and more about respect.

1ittlegreen · 22/02/2023 18:57

My dh once did this to me, he ate my limited edition twirl I had been saving.

I think to eat someone else's chocolates without asking is greed unbound.

ssd · 22/02/2023 18:57

This is mean of you. It wasn't yours. You sound greedy and entitled.

Teapleasebobb · 22/02/2023 18:57

Yabvvu op. If they were for him then you shouldn't have opened them!

SomePeopleAreJustBloodyStupid · 22/02/2023 19:00

If you'd had chocolates as a gift from your mum/sister/friend and they were unopened, you'd be pissed off if he opened them and scoffed some. Buy your own chocolates, you selfish mare

butterfliedtwo · 22/02/2023 19:01

Yeah, that's not on. You should have asked.

Itsokay2020 · 22/02/2023 19:02

@teomama at a minimum you need to replace the chocolates and exercise far more self control in future. Going to hazard a guess that your sense of entitlement extends far beyond helping yourself to someone else’s edible gift. Time for some self-reflection, and you’d do well to set yourself boundaries going forward too!

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 22/02/2023 19:02

Yeah you can't do that you need to replace them

doadeer · 22/02/2023 19:04

My husband would never in a million years say no but I'd still always ask to be polite.

Pinkfrogs45 · 22/02/2023 19:06

Surely this is a reverse?

Pinkfrogs45 · 22/02/2023 19:06

I would be fuming if someone opened my chocolates!

Stressybetty · 22/02/2023 19:07

Yeah, if I'd already unwrapped the present and the chocolates were lying about my DH would have helped himself. We don't get stressed about that kind of thing. If he'd dived in and eaten the whole lot over a few days and left the empty box for me to find when I hadn't realised they'd been opened I'd be furious. If they were very expensive or special ones it's a bit different. Growing up I was taught it's polite to wait for the recipient to have first choice and then to be offered. And only one at a time when handed round.

ArghRainAgain · 22/02/2023 19:07

In this situation DH and I always check in with each other before opening. Once opened - food is fair game!

I do think you were rude.