To think husband is awfully petty

[teomama]

Can’t believe I’m actually writing this, but my husband got upset because I opened a box of chocolates that his sister gave him for his birthday and ate a few of them. I laughed it out at first, but he insisted it was rude to open his present. I think that’s incredibly petty and actually feel offended to be told off like a child. AIBU?

YABU. It's unfair to eat part of someone else's present. I wouldn't even ask, but wait to be offered as it seems greedy. My DH and I do usually share chocolates though, but the gift reciever decides when to crack them open.

What kind of person opens and uses another person's birthday gift? Then to add further insult laughs when birthday person objects.

Wow OP, just wow 😮

i wouldn’t like this either, sorry

it’s his gift to do what pleases with it. It’s not for you to dictate when it gets opened. The amount of chocolates you had isn’t relevant, he could have been saving them for another occasion which he can’t now the box is open.

Eh? You do realise that you’re a CF and this is not typical behaviour? It simply isn’t an issue for the vast majority of couples as this isn’t a respectable way to behave.

I’ll say it again, you need to replace the chocolates. Time to get off MN, get yourself to the shops and if you can’t buy a like for like replacement, at a minimum buy a token replacement until you can replace the original box. Oh, and don’t eat any on your way home - they are not for you!

I’ve been called a dick, twat, very disrespectful, mannerless, greedy for eating two chocolates and apologising for it.
Surely not the best thing to do, but using this language is not really great either. I regret posting it - you really made me feel like shit. Thanks to everyone who conveyed their thoughts politely.

My husband and I tend to respect each other’s boundaries on such things.

Your situation wouldn’t happen with us because he knows if I wanted to share, I would offer to begin with once I opened my own gift. Why would he open something that is not his and he knows is mine without my permission and vice versa? If it was something he would like some of, he would ask. Simple as that.

Wow, people here are very intense about a couple of chocolates. I wouldn’t think twice if my husband helped himself to my birthday chocolates and vice versa. I mean he wouldn’t eat them all and he would probably not eat my favourite but other than that we share. Always have done.

My dh was given a box of celebrations at Christmas time. He hasn't opened them so they're still in the cupboard unopened. When he opens them he will share them with me, as I do with him, but I'll wait until he fancies them. I think you were cheeky to open your dh birthday gift.

Oh so where was he supposed to put his gift? It's his house too, WTF shouldn't he leave his present on the table?? He probably didn't think he needed to hide his gifts.

It’s not the chocolates but it’s the fact that you took something that was a gift without asking. It’s rude and you are mean for doing it and if your attitude on this thread is your general demeanour then no wonder he was pissed off

Your really not getting how rude/dis respectful it was to open your hubby's birthday present..it was not yours to open. Doesn't matter if you arranged his birthday or whatever the gift was not yours. Sharing stuff at home from the kitchen is totally different or if he had already opened his sweets and shared them. Think you need to get down off your high horse and apologise rather than be here and explain you just didn't think and your sorry. Dont let it escalate into something it shouldn't be. 🙂

I'd never open chocolates my husband received as a gift and I'd be pretty pissed off if he opened my chocolates.

You just don't open other people's presents, surely that's just basic manners? Wait to be offered or at least ask.

I can’t believe everyone is saying YABU. We always openly share gifts that could be deemed as for the home/kitchen (food/wine/scents/toiletries), I wouldn’t think twice about opening and using/consuming something that DH had been given for his birthday/Xmas and vice versa!

No, she genuinely thinks she's more than correct to behave like this. Look at her OP and her subsequent posts, despite 200 people telling her that it's rude/greedy/very unreasonable.
She is so sure of her stance that her husband is "awfully petty" and she is "offended" that he has had the audacity to call her out on this behaviour.

That's incredibly selfish and rude. I'm not surprised he was fuming, especially when you tried to make out he was being unreasonable and that you felt completely entitled to help yourself to other people's gifts.

I'm with the general consensus here OP.
I do think it was extremely bad manners on your part.

Yes you were being unreasonable. It was a gift.

@teomama
I don’t think it’s a huge deal tbh. Mumsnet can get very heated over tiny things. Storm in a teacup

I'd be pretty annoyed if you opened my present, and it's not the same as helping yourself to other foodstuffs in the kitchen, unless you wrap all of them in birthday paper as well.

That’s obviously the norm in your house but the fact that the OP’s DH was pissed off shows that it’s not the usual thing that happens in the OP’s house. Or in a lot of poster’s houses too

oh FFS.

it's got nothing to do with 'forgiving' our partners. Most of them just wouldn't be such an arse in the first place, so nothing to forgive.

you were accusing him of being petty & we don't agree, be told you were in the wrong & apologise sincerely instead of like a silly child being made to.

I’ve been called a dick, twat, very disrespectful, mannerless, greedy for eating two chocolates and apologising for it.

You may have said sorry, but clearly you didn’t mean it, as you think he was being ‘petty’! You are out of order for eating his birthday chocolate without asking , and doubly out of order for making it seem like he was the one in the wrong for being ‘petty’!

Heated think the overwhelming same response from married and long relationships saying the same says it all lol 🤣

Wow this thread is very heated, it's a few chocolates. I don't think it's a big deal at all, perhaps you should have asked yes, but that's as far as it goes really. It wouldn't bother me, it's only chocolates. I don't think it makes you a terrible human being!