To only drive places I know?

[Lis1992]

So I am driving around two years now. Passed my test first time and while I know I am a competent driver; I am still nervous. It’s others on the road who make me worry- if that makes sense. Like tailgaters,I try to ignore them but it’s a horrible feeling. I think it’s disgusting that irresponsible people do this just because you are driving safely. Anyway, I only drive when I need to- to work daily and local shops/appointments, I drive the dog to the local park or whatever. All routes I know and I have practice on.

If there is any kind of roadworks diversion etc I feel instant panic set in. I stick to routes I know and don’t drive anywhere else. Is there anyone else like this with driving? I’m happy I have the skill but I do only use the car when it’s essential.

That should say destress not distress!

You don’t see how driving down a road you’ve driven (either as driver or passenger) hundreds of times before is significantly easier than driving on an unfamiliar road? When a SatNav says turn left, on a familiar road you’ll know where the left is, on an unfamiliar road you won’t. It doesn’t make the manoeuvre itself any different, but there’s a muscle memory to journeys you’ve done many times that isn’t there on unfamiliar roads.

I learned to drive a few hundred miles from where I grew up but weirdly I find it less stressful driving around where I grew up than where I learned/live. I’m sure it’s because I’ve retained memories of those roads through years of being driven on them.

Yes, I am serious. My driving anxiety affects mainly myself. I take public transport which takes longer, I rarely ask anyone for a lift. If there’s no other choice I either woman up and drive, which I hate or miss out and stay at home. My driving anxiety is a pain in the arse, but mainly to me.

I think if you don't try, the fear will never leave you. I think it's normal to be extra focused on the roads you don't know, especially city centres etc., but it can't stop you from using your car.

@Lis1992 I don't think YABU, however, I can guarantee that if you feel panicked or uncomfortable (wherever you fall on that spectrum...), it will definitely impact your decisions, and therefore your driving. Whether you like it or not.
It's like people who drive after a couple of drinks and then say they feel a bit paranoid even though they are not drunk and it "definitely doesn't change the way I drive" 😬 Sure, pal. Tell yourself that if it makes you feel better!

Anyway. I think we all feel a bit like this straight after passing, it's natural once you're let loose in the wild. You can stick green plates on the car and most good drivers would give you a bit more room when they spot it.

If you go somewhere new, you can use google maps and check routes in advance, I sometimes use the street view and walk through new places if it's totally out of my usual woods. Totally fine to route check if it makes you feel more in control. I like to do it sometimes to see if there are any weird road layouts I need to be aware of, or specific signs. I also think it's a bit safer to concentrate more on the road than the sat nav, so if I'm familiar with the route from seeing it online, I recognise the signs and places I'm supposed to pass, and use landmarks to help me navigate while I've also got sat nav on. It's a little old school but I learnt to drive using maps, and when there's several places with the same name, it's always good to cross-ref and make sure you're on the correct route to the right place... (If anyone remembers TomTom and the problems it used to cause when going to one of 10 million places called Stockbridge in England!)
Waze is a brilliant app for road diversions, by the way.

While you're getting more experience on the roads, why don't you explore closer to home? When I passed at 18 I used to take my kid brother out for a drive for fun, and we'd stay fairly local, but drive through roads we'd never been down before. I go to know the local area SO much better by slowly exploring different estates like this. It's a great way to build confidence before heading out to a city like Birmingham or London.

They absolutely are dicks for sure. But I do also understand their frustration sometimes - I’ve seen someone doing about 65mph in the outside lane (“fast lane” - I know it doesn’t exist, but people call it that) with dozens of cars behind them for a good 10/15 miles because they are overtaking stuff… but with gaps that they could pull in to to let the rest go past them. I don’t tailgate because I don’t want to risk arse ending them, but I do get why people do it when they’re completely oblivious to everyone else on the road.

I do understand the hesitancy about Sat Navs, there are a few different apps though you can try - test them on routes you already know to see which ones feel most natural to "follow". I find some (like apple maps) have a horrendous interface to follow. I personally prefer Waze.

Good point someone else made about advanced driving courses. I think they can be really good from what I've heard.

I do sympathise about tailgaters - we all experience them though. Don't feel you have to drive unsafely (60 on a rural road in heavy rain and fog... ) to keep up with impatient road users, just do what you know is safe (and that includes not going TOO slowly - like under 20mph in a 40 zone or similar if there's nothing wrong with the car). You just have to ignore people who drive like pricks. We all have to deal with them!

I do get it, it's a bit mad how fast cars go really, compared to our little legs, and accidents are scary. But there is a lot you can control and do to drive yourself safely and keep away from other wanker drivers.

Waze and GoogleMaps are easy SatNavs to follow. You can't go wrong with either of those

I've got a very old satnav but it has a feature to practice the route before you drive it, Google maps will do the same for you. If you're going to a new place do a quick study beforehand. It's what we used to do with road atlases: look up your route, write it down street by street. I even used to have a friend who did a stack of post it notes with the landmarks and turns on the middle of the steering wheel (and a back seat full of discarded ones as she peeled them off!)
Not everyone has confidence or a sense of direction but you can learn!

I've been on a long journey on the motorway at night & it's been suddenly closed & I've had to come off for long diversions. I've just headed roughly parallel, until I recognised the name of a town. Then headed back onto the motorway.

Sometimes, we pick a place on a map & say let's go there for the day. Its interesting to see new places. Sometimes we choose a town or somewhere in the countryside.

We always have some change for the parking meters, although some take cards or pay via apps like ring go

However, I do know a couple of people who have driving anxiety., it must be very frustrating !

I enjoy 🚗 driving

If there is any kind of roadworks diversion etc I feel instant panic set in.

I’m also well able to cope with the unexpected

Which is it?

I’m also well able to cope with the unexpected I’ve great observation and constantly aware of hazards and reading the road ahead.

if this is true, why are you panicking?

This.

Plus what @housemaus and @FurAndFeathers have said, just before this post.

As i posted upthread, this is me. I even thought the previous thread mentioned may be me!
I've posted many times about my driving anxiety.
I hate the way some posters are dismissive and just don't get it and say its e asy once you have passed etc.

All roads are not the same ,and some junctions, road markings, roundabout etc are very confusing.
I find it inwardly (as OP said) stressful.
It's not an enjoyable experience even driving somewhere familiar, let alone somewhere new.
I can relax on public transport much more. Not thinking about the journey and where to park etc and that's after I've scrutinised Google maps!
However, I am marginally better, in the sense I will drive somewhere if I have no choice, where as a couple of years ago I wouldn't have.

I'm still a very limited driver though and don't go anywhere exciting. Never been on the motorway and I wonder now if I ever will. I hate being a passenger on the motorway too.

I never have lifts, even off dH and I absolutely never inconvenience anyone. I doubt my friends and family would find me a hindrance if I asked for a lift as I was too scared to drive. Not that I ever discuss it. Its a complete no issue to others.

I do get a few raised eyebrows or comments from people when I say I (sometimes) get the bus to work rather than drive, yes rather than drive near a major city where the buses and trains are frequent.
But these are the same people who will ring and say can't come to work if their car breaks. Even though houses pass every 10 min.
In a nutshell, I avoid because I don't enjoy and worry but then I hate myself in a way.

I must be the only person I know who still catches a bus when they have a car.
I tell myself it's better for me and environment, but that's only part true.

Oh I hate all the dangerous speeders and tailgate, who would still tailgate if you went at 100mph!
I d rive at the appropriate speed but I completely disagree that driving slow is dangerous. Its only dangerous cause the hot head behind can't keep their temper.
It may be annoying, but not dangerous.

I completely disagree that driving slow is dangerous. Its only dangerous cause the hot head behind can't keep their temper.

if you believe that then it’s probably good you don’t drive much. If you can’t drive at an appropriate speed for the road then you’re encouraging overtaking which, depending on the road, increases the risks of accidents. It’s one of the reasons roads like the A9 in Scotland have so many ‘allow overtaking’ signs, encouraging slow drivers to pull over to the left and safely allow overtaking to prevent traffic building up behind them. Unfortunately hardly any slow drivers are courteous enough (and many never seem to check their rear view mirror)

I suspect they’re the same people tootling along in the 3rd lane of a 4 lane motorway, overtaking no one, and blocking all 3 lanes from other road users.

if you’re driving too slowly for the conditions you can be charged with drive dangerously,
drive without due care and attention, or
driving without reasonable consideration for other road users.

In the end, we all get anxious or uncomfortable about things from time to time. However, if your driving anxiety isn't at the point where it affects your driving and it isn't outwardly expressed then why not push yourself more? Sometimes you just need to become comfortable with being uncomfortable until it gets easier.

oh ok I’ll give up driving cos you said so 😂😂

Err
Read my post properly and don't jump in saying it's a good job I don't drive often.
I said I drive at the appropriate speed
What I also said, was although its frustrating when people drive slow, its not actually dangerous It may not be appropriate and it may me irritating but its not actually dangerous.
I too, even with my crap driving get annoyed by it, but I don't get wound up and drive close to intimidate them.
Fast driving is dangerous and I see more of that than slow.

I did read your post properly and I literally quoted what you said. It is wrong. Driving slowly is a hazard to other road users and can be prosecuted as such.

www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/motors/can-you-fined-driving-slow-24265651.amp

www.express.co.uk/life-style/cars/1227216/driving-law-slow-fine-ban-careless-dangerous-road-safety/amp

OP I passed over a year ago and am similarly nervous about new routes.

What I find immensely helpful, is Google Street view on Google maps. It allows me to preview the layout of any junctions or big roundabouts on the new route before I set off. (I haven't read full thread, so apologies if it's already been suggested.)

@FurAndFeathers
Yes and you said if I believe that it's a good job I'm not driving much. Well a slow driver in front of me, although they may not doing what they are supposed to do, isn't going to make me crash.unless I get all impatient and drive to close to bully them to go faster.

I wonder if all these perfect drivers on here, or those who don't understand driving anxiety, don't make other driving mistakes ?
They must do, as not a day goes by without someone cutting across me in the wrong lane at a roundabout(2 busy ones I use to take dc to school),constant use of mobile phones etc etc.
They are the dangerous ones and probably the ones who say they are great drivers and drove 200 miles they day that they passed their test.

Yet as soon as anyone says they are nervous, they are deemed dangerous and shouldn't be let loose with a car.
Really unhelpful comments.

Agree with everyone saying that this issue needs tackled as a driver who flies into a panic when roadworks appear is NOT a safe and competent driver. OP if you lived round here you'd never go anywhere as there's not a week goes by without cones appearing somewhere within a 3 mile radius.

As for the tailgating - yes we've all experienced that occasionally. But if you're getting tailgated on every single journey then you have to ask yourself why that is happening. Is it because you are spectacularly unlucky, or is it because you're crawling along a straight road in good conditions doing 30mph when the limit is 60mph? And yes we know the twee little "it's a limit not a target" phrase which MN nervous drivers love so much, but that doesn't mean carte blanche to dawdle and inconvenience all other road users because of your nervousness.

Pass Plus is a good idea, or even just contacting the instructor who you passed your test with and asking for 2 or 3 lessons in your own car rather than theirs to specifically take you places out of your comfort zone.

Yes and you said if I believe that it's a good job I'm not driving much.

yes because as already stated, slow driving is hazardous and can be prosecuted as an offence

Well a slow driver in front of me, although they may not doing what they are supposed to do, isn't going to make me crash.unless I get all impatient and drive to close to bully them to go faster.

and what about the other 20 cars all having to crawl along behind you because the slow driver can’t cope with normal driving conditions? What about the emergency vehicles that have to try and navigate that 20 car tailback?
What about the juggernaut HGVs that take 3 times as long to brake that suddenly come upon someone driving significantly below the limit?
You can keep denying it all you like. The fact of the matter is that slow drivers have been successfully prosecuted as they are deemed hazardous and inconsiderate to others 🤷‍♀️

It’s actually worrying that you’re so far wrong on this - driving too slowly can be just as dangerous to other people on the road and the police can prosecute for ‘dangerous’ or being ‘careless and inconsiderate’.

Drivers who aren’t educated in the rules of the road are a danger to other people, and that’s not just speeding.

www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/motoring/highway-code-rules-around-driving-6752203.amp