Page 6 | To only drive places I know?

Lis1992 · 2023-02-22T17:58:32+00:00

So I am driving around two years now. Passed my test first time and while I know I am a competent driver; I am still nervous. It’s others on the road who make me worry- if that makes sense. Like tailgaters,I try to ignore them but it’s a horrible feeling. I think it’s disgusting that irresponsible people do this just because you are driving safely. Anyway, I only drive when I need to- to work daily and local shops/appointments, I drive the dog to the local park or whatever. All routes I know and I have practice on. If there is any kind of roadworks diversion etc I feel instant panic set in. I stick to routes I know and don’t drive anywhere else. Is there anyone else like this with driving? I’m happy I have the skill but I do only use the car when it’s essential.

UsingChangeofName · 22/02/2023 22:37

In my experience (which as I admit is limited to short local journeys) it’s quite rare to come across unexpected roadworks, they are generally signposted in advance

You clearly don't live anywhere near me.

In truth, if you can't cope with something unexpected being on your route, then you really aren't a safe driver.
There are unexpected obstacles all the time when you are driving, and it is the responsibility of a driver to respond to what is in front of them.

Hence the hazard perceptions being on the theory test.

That can be something slightly more fixed like the water board or gas companies responding to an emergency; to a lorry delivering a skip; to an emergency vehicle responding to an emergency; to an animal escaping into the road; to a sudden heavy downpour; to a RTA; to the wind blowing something into a road; to something literally falling off the back of a lorry; and no doubt 101 other things besides.

I'm quite concerned that someone who is that anxious is in charge of what is potentially a lethal weapon, which a car can be in the wrong hands.

Lovesacake · 22/02/2023 22:46

UsingChangeofName · 22/02/2023 22:37

In my experience (which as I admit is limited to short local journeys) it’s quite rare to come across unexpected roadworks, they are generally signposted in advance

You clearly don't live anywhere near me.

In truth, if you can't cope with something unexpected being on your route, then you really aren't a safe driver.
There are unexpected obstacles all the time when you are driving, and it is the responsibility of a driver to respond to what is in front of them.

Hence the hazard perceptions being on the theory test.

That can be something slightly more fixed like the water board or gas companies responding to an emergency; to a lorry delivering a skip; to an emergency vehicle responding to an emergency; to an animal escaping into the road; to a sudden heavy downpour; to a RTA; to the wind blowing something into a road; to something literally falling off the back of a lorry; and no doubt 101 other things besides.

I'm quite concerned that someone who is that anxious is in charge of what is potentially a lethal weapon, which a car can be in the wrong hands.

Well if you feel it’s a good use of your energy to be concerned about the drivers like me then I can’t stop that. As I’ve said in my previous posts I’ve driven 30000 miles with no accidents or speeding tickets, and quite obviously during that time I’ve dealt with lorries delivering skips, emergency vehicles etc. those things are so unremarkable that they haven’t been mentioned by a single anxious driver on this thread.

I and others like me get anxious driving in new areas and so avoid doing it and stick to familiar local routes. If that bothers you I’m sorry but it’s not going to stop me doing it.

rebekahnorris · 22/02/2023 23:01

JesPrinee · 22/02/2023 18:31

I can suggest a couple of things for you OP. I had tail-gaiting arseholes in the beginning. Just pull over safely and let them pass. They'll be glad to move on and you've shown maturity. I still do it now occasionally if I feel my sticking to the limit is pissing someone off.

Secondly, google maps is your friend. This is how I learnt. Pick a medium sized new journey and look it up on google maps. You can expand the picture so big you can even read road markings for lane discipline. Also you can 'walk' the journey on streetview. I found this made it so much easier to go somewhere new. I wasn't navigating and focusing on the traffic at the same time. You'll see buildings/features you remember from online and it makes it SO much easier. Then for longer journeys I made myself a crib sheet that I stuck to the dashboard with with things like 'O3' (at roundabout 3rd exit). I don't like satnav.

Also, I did one motorway lesson to be comfortable with speed.

I do this

Giggorata · 22/02/2023 23:30

I think the best way to get over these fears is to go and get lost somewhere unfamiliar. Make it a day when you've got nothing else on, so you can just drive around, without any deadlines to meet.
Then there you are, lost. The worst has happened and you are OK. You'll cope, and gain confidence from doing so.

Having said that, I couldn’t believe how relaxing driving with the aid of a sat nav is, would definitely recommend. And the rehearse beforehand idea with Google maps sounds massively reassuring.
There wasn't anything like that when I was first driving. I became expert at reading maps and the A to Z in short bursts.
I used to have a crib sheet for long journeys on the dashboard too! I even invented my own symbols for roundabouts, traffic lights, etc.

Original poster

Lis1992 · 22/02/2023 23:52

I will say a couple of things here instead of doing individual replies. I 100 percent am a competent driver, as confirmed by my instructor. In fact I was told I’ve natural ability for it. I am however a CAREFUL and safe driver. Tailgaters are none of those things. The polar opposite. No skill to press on an accelerator and those who speed could hit a person or animal. Speed is disgusting behaviour. I meant to say I get panicked when there are route diversions, not just roadworks.

And panic meant in my head, it wouldn’t be obvious at all to my passengers and I always make careful rational decisions. It doesn’t affect my driving. Some people never ever learn to drive. What would you say to them? Is this how you speak to people in your real life? Just behind a screen? Oh and to the person who said did I post about this before, no it wasn’t me.

To those who wrote lovely supportive comments thank you. You’re exactly the type of safe and conscientious drivers we need on our roads.

OP posts:

Daisymae55 · 22/02/2023 23:55

I feel you with this OP. I get real bad anxiety driving new places. I will do it and find it easier to do so now I have a car with built In sat nav (google maps let me down so many times) but given a choice I’d rather avoid driving new places.

Original poster

Lis1992 · 23/02/2023 00:01

I’m also well able to cope with the unexpected I’ve great observation and constantly aware of hazards and reading the road ahead. Some seem to miss the point and think I get into a panic at the wheel. Of course not. 🙄 It’s how I feel in my head , uncomfortable. Again ,linked to terrible drivers who put pressure on others. I’ve had times when I’ve had to take diversions due to roadworks I’m just saying I like to know a route first. Obviously not everything can be predicted.

OP posts:

Seaissofaraway · 23/02/2023 00:11

You don't need a separate sat navigation

Buy a mobile phone car holder
Google maps

Or a paper road map

VeniVidiWeeWee · 23/02/2023 00:37

@Lis1992

"I’m also well able to cope with the unexpected"

Yet your thread title is "To only drive places I know?"

pictoosh · 23/02/2023 07:02

You’re not just saying you like to know a route first…you’re saying you won’t drive anywhere unfamiliar or on a route you don’t know which is markedly fearful and completely restrictive.
Time to step right out of your comfort zone and use that driving license to good effect.

dogdaydown · 23/02/2023 07:06

Lis1992 · 22/02/2023 23:52

I will say a couple of things here instead of doing individual replies. I 100 percent am a competent driver, as confirmed by my instructor. In fact I was told I’ve natural ability for it. I am however a CAREFUL and safe driver. Tailgaters are none of those things. The polar opposite. No skill to press on an accelerator and those who speed could hit a person or animal. Speed is disgusting behaviour. I meant to say I get panicked when there are route diversions, not just roadworks.

And panic meant in my head, it wouldn’t be obvious at all to my passengers and I always make careful rational decisions. It doesn’t affect my driving. Some people never ever learn to drive. What would you say to them? Is this how you speak to people in your real life? Just behind a screen? Oh and to the person who said did I post about this before, no it wasn’t me.

To those who wrote lovely supportive comments thank you. You’re exactly the type of safe and conscientious drivers we need on our roads.

People that never learn to drive are not a danger to others, totally irrelevant.

You've completed changed from your OP and only thanking people who agree with you is pointless.

You stayed panicking and Road works causing this, you're now saying "only in your head" and not road works?

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 23/02/2023 07:07

YABU. If you are a nervous driver you are a dangerous driver.

OoooohMatron · 23/02/2023 07:08

Tillow4ever · 22/02/2023 18:26

I'm not being funny, but I've never met a nervous driver who truly is competent. They're normally adequate at best. Rarely do they get up to the speed limit on main roads, constantly over breaking, don't leave a big enough gap for someone to overtake into, but too big for people to do 2 cars at once, etc.

You need to practice more to get over you're nervousness. Tailgaters are usually because the car behind wants to go faster... are you genuinely doing the speed limit? Or are you going a little slower? Are you sitting in the middle lane if a motorway and not moving over? Are you in the outside lane and not putting your foot down to get past stuff and out of the way?

Nervous drivers cause accidents because they're hesitant. Be aware if other vehicles but concentrate on driving well yourself.

I agree with most of this except the speed limit/Tailgating. Don't make excuses for tailgaters they're dicks.

pictoosh · 23/02/2023 07:09

You know you can always pull over in a safe place and check a map and gather yourself.
If I’m unsure that’s what I do. Driving IS hard work and confusing sometimes. It’s ok to get flustered and want to pull over.

It’s not great to limit yourself to such an extent that you won’t use your car to get places.

Clymene · 23/02/2023 07:12

If your driving concern was about other drivers, you'd drive anywhere as you're no more likely to encounter them on routes you know than on routes you don't.

You lack confidence which is about you, no one else. Do an advanced driving course.

Rockingcloggs · 23/02/2023 07:17

Im like this. I will drive to the supermarket, to work, to both sets of parents and our siblings houses and my sons school & clubs. That is it. I am too nervous when I do not know where I'm going and so I wouldn't be a good driver so I won't do it.

Changingplace · 23/02/2023 07:49

Lis1992 · 22/02/2023 23:52

I will say a couple of things here instead of doing individual replies. I 100 percent am a competent driver, as confirmed by my instructor. In fact I was told I’ve natural ability for it. I am however a CAREFUL and safe driver. Tailgaters are none of those things. The polar opposite. No skill to press on an accelerator and those who speed could hit a person or animal. Speed is disgusting behaviour. I meant to say I get panicked when there are route diversions, not just roadworks.

And panic meant in my head, it wouldn’t be obvious at all to my passengers and I always make careful rational decisions. It doesn’t affect my driving. Some people never ever learn to drive. What would you say to them? Is this how you speak to people in your real life? Just behind a screen? Oh and to the person who said did I post about this before, no it wasn’t me.

To those who wrote lovely supportive comments thank you. You’re exactly the type of safe and conscientious drivers we need on our roads.

Have you considered why you’re getting so many tailgaters? Especially if you’re only driving on local roads?

Are you really going at the right speed or are you thinking that going at 20 in a 30 makes you ‘safe’ - it doesn’t, when everyone else on that road is going the speed they’re expected to.

Tailgating is something I come across very rarely, sometimes an idiot on the motorway but you just let them pass, it’s not something I’ve ever often come across on local driving at all.

LubaLuca · 23/02/2023 07:59

Excellent drivers are not fearful of new driving experiences. Broaden your horizons, stop using the unpredictability of life as an excuse to hold you back.

Birdsbirdsbirds · 23/02/2023 08:13

LubaLuca · 23/02/2023 07:59

Excellent drivers are not fearful of new driving experiences. Broaden your horizons, stop using the unpredictability of life as an excuse to hold you back.

What a load of old shit. Fyi people don't use anxiety as an "excuse" it's a very hard thing to overcome. What an ignorant comment.

LubaLuca · 23/02/2023 08:20

I didn't think the op was saying she had anxiety, she just felt uncomfortable when she couldn't predict what other drivers might do. I might have missed that though, so apologies if this is due to a mental health condition.

Snugglepiggy · 23/02/2023 08:22

This thread has made me realise I have lost confidence in recent years driving longer distances and anywhere new.DH is away soon for work and suggested we meet up for a weekend in a lovely place part way through. I have been planning trains involving several changes rather than driving because of this unease despite a very nice car with excellent satnav.Well I'm going to drive.I know I'm a very capable driver.
But to those who say tailgating means OP is the problem. I disagree.I can be driving at 29 /30in a 30 zone and that's not good enough for some.I refuse to get a speeding fine again as I've had two before-years apart.Both in unfamiliar areas. There There are some shockingly bad drivers around.Aggresive.Not indicating.Cutting corners at junctions. Speeding.No idea how to use roundabouts -or just don't care.Even in my local area traffic is far busier.And yes some drivers do tailgate to intimidate and that is dangerous driving.

Stickytreacle · 23/02/2023 08:23

I think anxiety is to be expected when you first start driving on your own, there's no instructor to direct you, and there will always be the chance of encountering the unexpected. It's usually due to an awareness of how easily accidents can happen and wanting to avoid that scenario.
Telling someone they are a crap driver because they have anxiety is counter productive, they drove well enough to pass their test and need ways to improve confidence, not criticism that will increase anxiety and make the problem worse.
Most accidents are young and over confident drivers who think that they can handle more than they can, I know which I'd prefer on the road, and no, I'm not saying that super nervous drivers are okay before I get jumped on, but the assumption that only those who get into cars with no apprehension when going somewhere new shouldn't be on the road is ridiculous. If I see a super cautious driver then I just keep my distance and overtake when safe to do so, it's no biggie, and those who lose patience and say others are a risk are the ones most likely to make errors ime.

Clymene · 23/02/2023 08:27

Stickytreacle · 23/02/2023 08:23

I think anxiety is to be expected when you first start driving on your own, there's no instructor to direct you, and there will always be the chance of encountering the unexpected. It's usually due to an awareness of how easily accidents can happen and wanting to avoid that scenario.
Telling someone they are a crap driver because they have anxiety is counter productive, they drove well enough to pass their test and need ways to improve confidence, not criticism that will increase anxiety and make the problem worse.
Most accidents are young and over confident drivers who think that they can handle more than they can, I know which I'd prefer on the road, and no, I'm not saying that super nervous drivers are okay before I get jumped on, but the assumption that only those who get into cars with no apprehension when going somewhere new shouldn't be on the road is ridiculous. If I see a super cautious driver then I just keep my distance and overtake when safe to do so, it's no biggie, and those who lose patience and say others are a risk are the ones most likely to make errors ime.

The OP doesn't think she is lacking in confidence. And I'm afraid unless she accepts that and does something about it, then things won't improve.

Drivers who lack confidence are dangerous. They're unpredictable and don't drive at appropriate speeds.

Birdsbirdsbirds · 23/02/2023 08:49

LubaLuca · 23/02/2023 08:20

I didn't think the op was saying she had anxiety, she just felt uncomfortable when she couldn't predict what other drivers might do. I might have missed that though, so apologies if this is due to a mental health condition.

What she described is literally anxiety. It doesn't mean she's got general anxiety through everything In her life, you don't need a diagnosis to be obviously anxious about something. Again, ignorance.

dogdaydown · 23/02/2023 08:50

@Birdsbirdsbirds of course lots of people use anxiety as an excuse, do you live in a cave.

That's not to say that people don't genuinely suffer anxiety issues.