To only drive places I know?

[Lis1992]

So I am driving around two years now. Passed my test first time and while I know I am a competent driver; I am still nervous. It’s others on the road who make me worry- if that makes sense. Like tailgaters,I try to ignore them but it’s a horrible feeling. I think it’s disgusting that irresponsible people do this just because you are driving safely. Anyway, I only drive when I need to- to work daily and local shops/appointments, I drive the dog to the local park or whatever. All routes I know and I have practice on.

If there is any kind of roadworks diversion etc I feel instant panic set in. I stick to routes I know and don’t drive anywhere else. Is there anyone else like this with driving? I’m happy I have the skill but I do only use the car when it’s essential.

I used to be the same. I think my dyspraxia played a huge part in it.

Sat nav means that I rarely worry about driving new places now.

My MiL is like this and I've always been a bit jealous that FiL enables it to be honest. I do drive new places but I hate it. Thankfully, living in a city with good public transport it is rarely an issue. It's one of the reasons I'd never move somewhere I'd need to drive regularly.

Nervous drivers are far more likely to drive badly. Too slow, unable to make decisions, unable to navigate more complex road set ups etc.

Of course, over confident drivers can be as bad.

Finding a middle ground is probably the challenge.

My SIL is like this, she's now getting progressively more nervous about driving, to the extent that she won't do some routes that she used to.

Driving is a skill, as with any skill you have to practice it, try new things in order to maintain and improve that skill.

You need a good Satnav. It’ll help
expand your range. However, you don’t have to go far - driving is supposed to make life easier for you, and is a skill/tool for you to use to your own benefit.

Some people are cut out to drive. Some really aren’t. Some only manage to drive in daylight. Others stick to the familiar roads and areas. Do what works for you (but do try the satnav, as they are really helpful).

You sound like a poor driver. I would book onto a driving course if I was you.

Wow a lot of these messages are very mean. Essentially saying yes I ditched my friend because I didn't understand their very obvious anxiety. Because that is what this is, manifesting in driving.

I was like this. I put Google maps on through the car and just made myself go more places. I'm still a bit nervous if something is really, really far away. Weirdly, getting a bit lost helped me because my satnav got me where I needed to go and it was all okay in the end, so I'm less scared of the what ifs.

There's still silly things like not very obvious bus lanes and one way systems I'm not fond of, however I think a lot more drivers aren't particularly fond of these than would care to admit.

Do keep regularly driving roads you know because that will help you build up confidence with other aspects of driving.

Based on?

This

everyone finds it nerve wracking when they first start driving. How you get over that is to expand your driving experience.

I could have written this myself, just under two years driving and I hate driving somewhere I don't know too, I'm fine on routes I know well but hate driving anywhere else, if we go for a day out my DP drives because I absolutely hate it.

People are so aggressive and drive like lunatics, I had a man screaming at me just the other day because I stopped at a red light and didn't put my foot down to get through when there literally wasn't time for me to do so.

If you are constantly being tail gated then the problem will be you. You really don't sound like a competent driver at all and the fact you go into a panic if faced with anything unexpected is very worrying.

I’m currently training to become a driving instructor and this fascinates me, I think it’s something I’d like to specialise in if the market is there. It seems to be a predominantly female source of anxiety (maybe because males aren’t so open, traditionally driving has been a male dominated area).

Is it something any of you who are experiencing this worry would seek help for? It must be very empowering to drive where you want without fear if you have previously suffered. Or are you happy to carry on as is sticking to the same routes etc?

As you can probably guess I love driving so no I don’t share this fear, but feel sad for others that such a liberating activity is such a source of anxiety. It shouldn’t be an AIBU really, you can’t be unreasonable for feeling fear. It’s a common problem too.

How do you figure that, just because she's anxious doesn't mean she's bad at driving. There's so many bad drivers out there but its not the anxious ones who are the problem, its the ones who make dangerous maneuvers to be one car infront, or fly around like morons that are the problem, every single day I see someone drive like a looney, the roads are full of them.

Have you posted on here before? I remember posts about being unconfident on new journeys and parking far away from the store in the supermarket car park where no cars were as you’re not confident with parking

If so, no progress with the suggestions people made there about taking more lessons, CBT etc?

@Grizzledstrawberry a panicking driver is not a good driver IMO.

I was like this then my friends hen do was in Cardiff (I'm near London).

I couldn't get the day off work to travel with everyone else, went to buy train tickets and thought nope. I'm doing it.

Had never driven on a motorway before, I put it into Google maps, put a couple of sugary drinks in the car, made a playlist of my favourite songs and just went for it.

I was so proud of myself 😂

Hello, OP, are you me?
It took me a very, very long time to learn how to drive and several attempts to pass my test. I've been driving for a few years now and do the same limited routes (work, groceries, train station, post office, doctor). Everything is like clockwork, including when I change lanes. I too freak out if there is a road diversion. I learned how to drive in the UK and now live abroad which makes things much, much harder. However, if I was you, I would take some lessons and also go around some areas that are close to your usual routes to expand your repertoire somewhat.

Practise the routes with someone with you and make yourself gldrive somewhere every day. When you are driving, say out loud "every time I drive I become a better driver. Every time I drive I become more confident". It works. Refuse to have your confidence knocked if you have a scary moment. Do not let it define you and tell yourself that this will be part of your story when you will tell someone about how you overcame your driving anxiety in the future.

People say that exposure and practise are the only answer, which is mostly true, but you need to change your attitude and make sure that you force yourself not to fall into the trap of thinking 'I can't do this'. I'm getting better and am now driving each day (one of my safe routes) but I don't feel like being sick before I get in the car each morning.

Unfortunately, I am one of the annoying friends who can't go to certain places. People don't understand how this anxiety has absolutely defined my life for so long and if I could get rid of it, I would. It impinges on so many aspects of my life but I am fighting very hard against it. Ive suspected that I have dyspraxia for some time and I think that effects things too. But just keep going OP.

Looking on Google Street View and getting an automatic are great ideas.

There's a difference between been anxious/worried and panicking

There is nothing wrong in my opinion with someone who limits their driving, or indeed never learns to drive.

There is a lot wrong with those who drive aggressively, and indeed that it is far too easy to retain a licence for up to 53 years without any real checks at all.

I was a bit like that, then last year, on a mad whim decided to drive to Manchester from Glasgow and back in a day.
Completely cured that fear and I've been all over the country now.

I was similar to this, I hated driving with a passion, never ever thought I could be comfortable, avoided bigger roads and everywhere at rush hour... DH thought I was ridiculous. Then my brother got seriously ill, and I HAD to drive, put 6,000 miles on my car, thankfully he's recovered well. I would not have improved my driving if I wasn't utterly forced!

Things happen you might need to drive somewhere unexpectedly, perhaps reach out of your comfort little by little? I know it won't be pleasant

You are either a safe, competent driver or you are not.

If you are not capable of following a sat-nav or following signs and reading the road ahead properly, you fall into the second category and if you could just stay off the roads entirely that will be better for everyone.

I felt like this the first few years after I passed my test OP. The only way to get over it is lots of practice - so you should drive more, not less.

I genuinely couldn’t imagine a time where I’d feel carefree while driving, but now I do.

This is such a shame OP. Driving should free you up to go to new places.

I agree with PPs about getting a Sat Nav, if you don't already have one.

I'm a confident driver but I don't have a great sense of direction and I love my Sat Nav; one of the greatest inventions of the age imo, it will make finding your way around so much easier and therefore will help build your confidence.

I would really recommend you get yourself a few more lesson with a driving instructor that is sympathetic to this sort of issue.

All the time you just stick to driving the few routes you know and get into a panic if you try to go anywhere else, you won't break that cycle. Getting more lessons will definitely help.

It'll make such a difference to your driving experience and your competence if you can become a more confident driver.

Did that help anyone or do you just enjoy being an internet bully?