Tedious performative under eaters

[SlimPig]

The thread about the PIL's measly portions reminded me of this, and how iritating it is. I remember once at work they bought us all fish and chips on one friday afternoon. When it arrived the two other women started their bs as soon as they were handed their box - oohh the weight of that! I'll never eat all that! Hadn't even opened it and looked at it yet.

Then, once opened, both of them, oh my god, I'll never eat all that (measly takeaway cardboard box portion, not a massive, in paper, large portion) ooh dear, we won't need dinner, or breakfast tomorrow now will we! Don't think I can eat my peas too, I'm so stuffed. I'm going to need to go for two runs tomorrow now! On and on, through the whole meal.

I was starving and had to make a conscious effort to eat it slowly because they were fucking about and pushing it round the box and I didn't want to look a pig, I'm a fast eater anyway, but that meal was just so god awful! In the end I just ate it at my normal speed.

Why? Why do people do this? Why can't they just eat their food normally? Why does everything have to be justified and offset? Just strikes me as so sad that they couldn't just eat their food without a whole performance (infront of all the men in the office, only 3 women there, me and them) of how birdlike they normally eat 😥

I'm overweight and still can't eat an entire portion of fish and chips, particularly not at lunchtime.

I'd just eat most of the fish - taking some of the batter off if it was too greasy for me - and leave most of the chips ( well all these days as I am low carbing). Amazingly I could do this without wanging on about portion sizes or as it's not particularly interesting to discuss.

In my experience I've noticed that women who have physiques I aspire too - healthy but not skinny- often tuck in with gusto to a meal like this because it's a rare treat for them and will naturally- without tediously telling the office about it - balance out their calorie intake with no dinner or whatever, because they don't have an emotional relationship with food.

In a weird reverse way I have a friend who will, at the start of every outing we have together, go on and on about how she is dieting, she needs to lose x amount, she’s so overweight etc.etc. The rest of us make no comment but she then makes it our problem by saying the likes of
“don’t let me eat too much or say something if I order extra chips”. She actively invites comment, even though we don’t care or want to comment.
So when we eventually sit down to eat she orders chips and cakes. We’re still afraid to comment (it really is a treading on eggshells time), so will try to look nonchalant but she then projects and goes into a rant along the lines of
”don’t you judge me, I’ve had such a crap time, work is so stressful, no one has it as hard as me, this is my only pleasure”

So we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t and we couldn’t give a flying fuck either way what she eats or doesn’t but her palavers put everyone on edge. And then she’ll sit with a face on because she’s annoyed with herself. It’s so fecking tedious and sucks the enjoyment out of every occasion.

Hardly

The worst risotto I’ve ever been served was at a Michelin star restaurant. It was supposedly a butternut squash risotto. Stodgy, bland and completely tasteless.

Few if any restaurants offer good vegetarian meals nowadays. Normally it’s vegan ultra processed crap that does for both.

Why can't you just say "small portion for me, please" if someone's plating it for you or, if it's a fixed amount, just eat what you want?

Why do you need to comment?

"Who is pushing large portions on you? I wasn't aware this was a thing."

Lots of people and places. We have an obesity epidemic, but you weren't aware that many portions are too large!

Just eat half. Or eat at home forever

If the point of your comment is to alter the amount of food you're given, then you say so before food is served - to the person serving it, and say it once... that's all you need to do.

If they then insist on putting a huge portion on your plate, just leave what you don't want.

If the point of your comment is to ensure the person who made the food is not offended, then thank them afterwards and just say you're full/you've had enough, it was lovely thankyou very much.

If you ask for a smaller portion and the person serving it is then a twat about it - thats on them, ignore them, or tell them to pack it in.

Theres no need to wang on about portion sizes to those not in control of serving the food.

Restaurants do not care if you leave half the plate, unless they think you're going to complain there was a hair in it or something.

The contents and quantities on other peoples plates are no one elses business but theirs, so don't mention it.

"Why can't you just say "small portion for me, please" if someone's plating it for you or"

I do and some people don't listen, but I'm mainly talking about when it's already on the plate.
I've already explained why I need to comment. One reason is that if it's a friend so that they don't give me such huge portions again and if it's a restaurant to express my displeasure. There is pressure to 'finish your plate' so I end up with indigestion.

Meals don't come with an obligation to finish them, or a penalty for not eating the whole thing though.
I've never been to a restaurant where they've had a lock in or barred anyone from leaving until they had finished their food!

"to the person serving it, and say it once... that's all you need to do."

As I said, people often don't listen.

"Restaurants do not care if you leave half the plate"

A good restaurant really does care whether you like the food or the portion was simply too large. Also fellow diners often have issues with 'wasting food' (I think overeating is also wasteful) so I come under pressure from fellow diners to finish my food.

If you can't see the problem with large portions just look at what is happening in the US and consider where the UK might be heading.

But pushing implies that you're under pressure. Are you?

Either order what you intend to eat, or order and don't eat all of it. Simple.

"Meals don't come with an obligation to finish them"

Maybe it's generational, but I had 'finish your plate drummed into me' and now I have to suffer green bores who go on about waste if you leave anything on your plate.

"But pushing implies that you're under pressure. Are you?"

Yes, of course. If someone gives you a larger portion than you want, you're under pressure to eat it.

"Either order what you intend to eat, or order and don't eat all of it. Simple."

You often can't order a certain quantity and there are problems with leaving food on your plate that I've explained above.

You need some new friends.

"Just eat half. Or eat at home forever"

Or maybe they could serve sensible portions. The portions in fish and chip shops are big even for big people with large appetites and, as I explained, they don't keep or reheat well so it's wasteful.
I'm not staying home, thanks.

Also at work, if I say something was too much for me, I have a 'dustbin' colleague who'll finish it. If I said nothing, he wouldn't know and I'd just be throwing it away (it's not enough for a portion the next day).

"You need some new friends."

I'm afraid the anti-waste agenda is everywhere now. (Not a huge fan of waste myself, but I think overeating is also waste).

I think you're massively overthinking this.

If you're at a friends house, let them know before they serve up that you'll just have small portion. If they insist on giving you a big portion then they only have themselves to blame if you don't finish it all. And hopefully they'll remember for next time.

If you're at a restaurant and the portion is too big, just eat what you can and when the server collects your food smile and say 'it was lovely thanks but there was just a bit too much of it!' etc. If you're not the first person to give this feedback then they might change the portion size.

No need for a big song and dance.

One of the reasons I’m glad I WFH now 😂

"If you're at a restaurant and the portion is too big, just eat what you can and when the server collects your food smile and say 'it was lovely thanks but there was just a bit too much of it!' etc. If you're not the first person to give this feedback then they might change the portion size."

But this is exactly what I do and you're all saying I'm not allowed to mention the portions!

"If you're at a friends house, let them know before they serve up that you'll just have small portion. If they insist on giving you a big portion then they only have themselves to blame if you don't finish it all. And hopefully they'll remember for next time."

They won't because some of them think massive portions are normal. I have to be clear with them that the portions are too big for me.

I see obesity epidemic made it onto performance non eating thread.
All is right in the world now

But this is exactly what I do and you're all saying I'm not allowed to mention the portions!

FFS - feedback in a restaurant is not the same as giving a whole “Oh, but I just couldn’t, it’s soooo much fooooood!” performance.

An adult should be able to say “Thanks, but I’m full now” - and they should be able to tell people who criticise them for not finishing a meal that it’s none of their business.

But this is exactly what I do and you're all saying I'm not allowed to mention the portions!

If you are genuinely unable to finish a meal because you are full before it's finished, then it's not performative to say 'that was lovely thanks but there was just too much of it' or something along those lines. That isn't what this thread is about.

This thread is about people who make a huge song and dance about portion sizes and deliberately draw attention to how big a portion is/how little of it they will be able to eat/how they'll need to exercise to compensate for it. I have come across these people and it is annoying and unecessary (and as someone who suffered from eating disorders throughout adolescence and into my early 20s, it's actually quite triggering).

Simply pointing out why you haven't finished your meal is not performative.

"FFS - feedback in a restaurant is not the same as giving a whole “Oh, but I just couldn’t, it’s soooo much fooooood!” performance."

Right, so you agree with me. It IS fine to comment on the portions.

So eat what you want and ask to take the rest home!

You actually complain in a restaurant that they gave you too much for your money? You have to "express your displeasure" at the good value for money rather than just doggy bag it?

You're not going to solve the obesity issue by being pointlessly rude and mood hoovering in restaurants!

To provide feedback to a business, yes. To bore the tits off your fellow diners about it, no.