Tedious performative under eaters

[SlimPig]

The thread about the PIL's measly portions reminded me of this, and how iritating it is. I remember once at work they bought us all fish and chips on one friday afternoon. When it arrived the two other women started their bs as soon as they were handed their box - oohh the weight of that! I'll never eat all that! Hadn't even opened it and looked at it yet.

Then, once opened, both of them, oh my god, I'll never eat all that (measly takeaway cardboard box portion, not a massive, in paper, large portion) ooh dear, we won't need dinner, or breakfast tomorrow now will we! Don't think I can eat my peas too, I'm so stuffed. I'm going to need to go for two runs tomorrow now! On and on, through the whole meal.

I was starving and had to make a conscious effort to eat it slowly because they were fucking about and pushing it round the box and I didn't want to look a pig, I'm a fast eater anyway, but that meal was just so god awful! In the end I just ate it at my normal speed.

Why? Why do people do this? Why can't they just eat their food normally? Why does everything have to be justified and offset? Just strikes me as so sad that they couldn't just eat their food without a whole performance (infront of all the men in the office, only 3 women there, me and them) of how birdlike they normally eat 😥

Apparently the Weetabix in the house got totally pulverised when the undereaters tried to outdo each other with it with more and more cutting.

How do you even cut a Weetabix??

Fuck knows, thet are nasty, like blocks of sawdust, so, perfect diet food 😂

That's very different. Eating slowly is fine and healthy even. But commenting constantly about the size and wittering on about it makes others feel greedy.

I'm also a size 10 btw and I eat like a starved lion. We're all different - but we should all be polite.

Reminds me when working in a hotel restaurant years ago and a coach load of German tourists would come down for breakfast, put a Weetabix on a sideplate and spread butter on it 😂

This post has got me thinking: I was trying to work out if I have ever come across the behaviour described and I can honestly say that I haven’t - and I am quite old. If someone ever has spoken to me about food like that it must have gone in one ear and out the other as the way someone eats and their commentary on it is of no consequence to me whatsoever. I am genuinely shocked that people are Bothered by it.

If you're genuinely shocked that people might be bothered by rude, depressing behaviour that spoils a meal, then I find it very hard to believe you wouldn't be genuinely shocked by the behaviour itself.

One of my aunts used to do this. She's used to make a big song and dance about the amount of curry my mum had put for her and then split a nan, only to go back and eat 3. She went on and on once about how my mum poured too big portions, everyone else ignored her too polite to respond. She was the 'slim' sister. I on the otherhand was a fed up teenager and pointed out it couldn't have been that big a portion because she'd helped herself to more several times and that if my mum did pour too big a portion then maybe she should pour her own food instead of waiting to be served like the Queen. I got told off by my mum once my aunt left but my dad laughed and said it was the truth.

It’s a turn of phrase. You know, like saying I could eat a horse. I am not literally shocked just surprised that this is a thing. Some people care about this sort of thing and others don’t. I don’t, but the thread is interesting.

Well of course you don't care, you've never experienced it.

But you're intrigued enough to be here, so I think it's a safe bet that it would annoy you to attend a nice meal, hoping to enjoy good food and good company... only to have someone wittering on about how little they're having and how they can't believe how much you're having and picking the meal apart in a completely negative way.

I assure you it's a thing, and it's designed to hijack and spoil the occasion. If you're socially aware, you'll care.

Although I could probably only eat half a horse. A whole one would be far too much for a bird-like eater like me.

My mum gets half portions. No fuss.
Restaurants in that country offer half portions for kids. If they don't let her get it she splits it betwewn two lunches.
We have big lunch, small dinner (like bread and ham or so).
She has small appetite but no one cares because she never makes the comments. She just leaves the rest, takes it as a "doggie bag" and that's it. Does same with us at home. No fussing, no "omg so big", just eats what she can and eats leftovers next day🤷🏻

The only people she moaned about who had commemts around food were the new found low carbs 😂 It doesn't fly in there to botch about food.😂

😁😁😁

My MIL is lovely but has a weird relationship with food, very restricted in what food she does she eat with no variety - eg has exactly the same breakfast and lunch every single day. So her running commentary is not about portion size but expressing distaste at what we eat, even when she’s cooked it for us! Something simple like jam on toast will set her off to the point it’s easier to skip breakfast than listen to the comments and she can go on and on and on like Mrs Doyle. The dog gets a lot of walking when we’re there.

Christmas meals at her house consist of dry turkey breast, boiled potatoes and peas, so one year she agreed I could whip up some of the usual trimmings in addition because at the very least I was not going to go without gravy and I didn’t expect her to cook food she doesn’t like herself. That invoked a lot of language about how disgusting and revolting it looked when I brought it to the table for DH and I. I managed a quiet “it’s alright, I’m not expecting you to eat it” but it really sucked any festivity out of the meal.

So I recognise the behaviour described in the thread of people who excessively commentate on either their own or other peoples’ food consumption. As PP have said, they all have some kind of disordered thinking around food and are externalising their internal commentary either as a symptom of their anxiety around food or as some kind of coping mechanism that involves comparing themselves against everyone else to make themselves feel better.

I also think from the thread that the vast majority with the disordered thinking are women, and the examples of men commenting on other peoples’ food are just nasty rude controlling gits tbh. It’s been mentioned that historically it was seen as feminine and virtuous to not have much appetite, but I’ve not seen anyone say yet that one of the reasons is that having an appetite for food was seen as a proxy for having an appetite for sex. Being a joyful, “lusty” eater - double meaning in men saying they love a woman with a good appetite as she tucked into a meal. Nudge nudge etc.

I can absolutely accept that people who eat smaller portions or have smaller appetites get rude comments and incessant twattery about it... its exactly the same amount of annoying as the thing the OP started the thread about - people being fucking annoying about food, whether their own, or other peoples.

As someone who can sometimes eat a pretty big dinner and sometimes can't, I've had both versions, the 'oooh, are you really going to eat ALL that' and the 'is that ALL you're having?!' (usually said with an air of disbelief as if I am doing it on purpose so people notice, because I am a big fat fatty and of course we spend all day long shoving food down our disgusting glutton-holes). And of course the 'commenting about their own food but really it's an implied comment about yours'.

It really doesn't frigging matter - it is all bastarding annoying!

A single, polite comment is all that is necessary, if any comment is necessary at all of course, often it isn't. Then move on and talk about something else.

My (male) boss is like this. God forbid if I have a sandwich AND crisps! "You can't possibly eat both?!" with his eyebrows disappearing inro his hair. Or "are you eating again?" (Fair comment, I do snack) er...what's it to you?! A comment along the lines of 'yes I am eating again; do you have a problem with that?" Usually puts him back in his box until next time

I couldn't eat a large portion of fish and chips. I am a grazer so eat small amounts often so just can't eat one huge meal. If there are biscuits etc on offer, I'll happily eat several over the course of the day.

No way would I say nothing about it in front of anyone though! I'd just eat what I was comfortable with then stop.

My mum is like this. It takes all of the enjoyment out of a meal for me when someone is constantly commenting on how they will have to eat lettuce for the rest of the week. DON'T EAT IT THEN! And shut up about it so that I can enjoy mine in peace.

I also think from the thread that the vast majority with the disordered thinking are women, and the examples of men commenting on other peoples’ food are just nasty rude controlling gits. It’s been mentioned that historically it was seen as feminine and virtuous to not have much appetite, but I’ve not seen anyone say yet that one of the reasons is that having an appetite for food was seen as a proxy for having an appetite for sex. Being a joyful, “lusty” eater - double meaning in men saying they love a woman with a good appetite as she tucked into a meal. Nudge nudge etc.

Interesting you should say this, I've come across this.
We used to be friends with a couple and the man was like this. His wife only ate small amounts, I eat what's put in front of me, and he would always make some lairy comment about how he liked a girl with a big appetite, you're a lucky man Mr Duck etc and it used to make me really uncomfortable.
It always used to piss me off too that we always used to split the bill straight down the middle but she would always order the most expensive items on the menu for all three courses, then leave most of it, saying she could only eat small amounts! Such a fucking waste of both good food and, more to the point, our money!
Funnily enough, we don't see them any more (because of a much bigger reason than this) and I don't miss all that at all!!

"I couldn't eat a large portion of fish and chips."

Me neither and I would say so because those portions are really massive and quite wasteful because even though I've tried, I find them difficult to re-heat the next day. I think the portions are way too big in the chip shops, but I appreciate that OP's talking about smaller portions.

"a weird relationship with food, very restricted in what food she does she eat with no variety - eg has exactly the same breakfast and lunch every single day"

I don't think that's so weird. I would think that most people have the same breakfast on weekdays and those who take their own sandwiches to work for lunch often have the same one.

I can understand saying something at the time of ordering in a fish and chip shop eg "do you do small portions, I find a standard one is too big" They will either say yes or no.
Once given a portion (if too big) do you need to say "I couldn't eat all this, it's way too much" or just eat what you want/feel able to and leave the rest.
Sometimes I don't finish a meal because I feel too full, other times I prefer to save space for dessert, other times I just prefer not to eat that size meal at that moment....but I don't need to voice any of those thought processes or give an explanation to fellow diners why I haven't finished!

"I don't need to voice any of those thought processes or give an explanation to fellow diners why I haven't finished!"

But I do. I don't think huge portions should be pushed on people for one thing so I'll comment on it if I want to. It's not a taboo subject!

It fun how the CUE have popped into this thread to make sure we all know they couldn't possibly eat a whole portion of fish and chips. Nobody cares.

Who is pushing large portions on you? I wasn't aware this was a thing.

But I do. I don't think huge portions should be pushed on people for one thing so I'll comment on it if I want to. It's not a taboo subject!

It's all subjective though. What is a huge portion for you isn't for somebody else....fish and chip shops (for example) have to serve a portion that will satisfy everyone, if they served a tiny portion a lot of people wouldn't go again.
Personally, I'd think you were really rude to comment.