Tedious performative under eaters

[SlimPig]

The thread about the PIL's measly portions reminded me of this, and how iritating it is. I remember once at work they bought us all fish and chips on one friday afternoon. When it arrived the two other women started their bs as soon as they were handed their box - oohh the weight of that! I'll never eat all that! Hadn't even opened it and looked at it yet.

Then, once opened, both of them, oh my god, I'll never eat all that (measly takeaway cardboard box portion, not a massive, in paper, large portion) ooh dear, we won't need dinner, or breakfast tomorrow now will we! Don't think I can eat my peas too, I'm so stuffed. I'm going to need to go for two runs tomorrow now! On and on, through the whole meal.

I was starving and had to make a conscious effort to eat it slowly because they were fucking about and pushing it round the box and I didn't want to look a pig, I'm a fast eater anyway, but that meal was just so god awful! In the end I just ate it at my normal speed.

Why? Why do people do this? Why can't they just eat their food normally? Why does everything have to be justified and offset? Just strikes me as so sad that they couldn't just eat their food without a whole performance (infront of all the men in the office, only 3 women there, me and them) of how birdlike they normally eat 😥

Come and work with me. More snacks, the better! Lunch is the highlight of the day!
Yes I know people like this and it is annoying. It's like performance under eating.

Back when I used to work in the office there was one woman who would only ever have half of anything on offer no matter what it was,

Samosas - oh goodness they look and smell lovely but there's no way I can eat a whole one, will anyone split it with me.

Even biscuits, the jammy dodgers or custard creams would come out and she'd painstakingly break the fuckers in half and leave the other half in the tin.

YAB totally U. Just because you eat a lot, quickly, doesn’t mean that’s “normal”.

My SIL used to watch me eat (slowly, pushing my food around my plate, not finishing my plate) and accuse me of eating like a bird as well. Funnily enough I’m a size 10 and she’s pushing a size 20. I’ve had anxiety about eating in front of people since I was a child. I still can’t eat “enough” or “fast enough” for people. Being publicly chided about it by people like you makes it worse.

Best thing to do is laugh at them, or up the ante "well I'm not going to eat again till tomorrow evening, possibly just a piece of toast then" and wink at them.

I also worked with someone once that only ate one of the tiny M&S side salad bowls for lunch (not the proper salad, the titchy ticthy one) and it was all she had all day. I was really young and thought I was eating too much and greedy - because she was older, glamourous (seeming to me at the time - going out to all the bars in London after work etc). This sort of thing can be so damaging, especially if a lot of people are doing it (90's heroin chic innit 🙄).

Can't stand those people! I've known a few of those, makes a big performance about they can't possibly eat the whole thing.

Yep, bloody annoying. My MIL and Step mum are both like this-

Oh only a small portion for me, I couldn't possibly eat all that. I'm happy with just veg on my plate....
Oh I can't do slimming world, I just cant eat all that food they expect you to.

Bore off!

I don’t know anyone like that and have never, ever seen anyone do that either.

I’ve seen this with some friends. We do out for lunch and eat a decent, but not big sandwich with crisps for example and they say oh I won’t need to eat tonight !! I’m thinking ffs I will.

FIL is like this. He's incredibly controlling around fitness and food, and eats probably half the calories needed for a man his age.
I wouldn't care but he really tries to control MIL eating so she also does the whole performative thing over normal portion sizes, then binges elsewhere.
I feel he genuinely has created an eating disorder for her.

I’ve seen people on here saying no one needs more than one meal a day.

Which is completely understandable, but there's no need to make a massive song and dance about it (which I'm sure you don't) and try to make other people feel greedy for eating differently. I had an eating disorder for many years and the last thing I ever wanted to do was make someone else uncomfortable around food. OP YADNBU.

Also have a colleague like this, she's always trying to 'lose 5 pounds' and is obsessed with what everyone's having for lunch or tea, particularly the skinny ( i.e. size 10, 20 somethings who don't have kids yet) colleagues.
I'd say she's pretty fit and healthy for a 40 something with 2 kids, size 12/14 maybe as she's tall and big, but avoid her around meal times as I'm not after her 'advice' over my food choices.

I can cope with barely no dinner if I have a BIG breakfast around mid morning/lunchtime, like a caff breakfast, then I can have something small like cheese and crackers or cheese on toast or a fried egg sandwich etc, but otherwise, no, I need at least 2 meals a day. I can skip breakfast quite easily.

People are always mean about how little I eat but I had a bypass so eat small amounts more often. I just don't really talk about it. Still get shitty comments though.

Omg yes! The ex mil used to do this ALL the time! In such a way that when I then ate my whole (very normal, standard sized portion of adult food!) I'd invariably feel like a big fat pig. She'd even then add some comment like oh gosh how on earth did you manage all that, I could barely eat half. And she'd dished it up! In her own effing kitchen! 😆😆😆 Time and time again.... Thank you for reminding me of this, it's one of the things I absolutely love never having to ensure ever again! 🤦🏼😆

Endure, you know what I meant...it was the euphoria of having remembered this not being a part of my life ever again! 😆

The whole ‘ooh I’ll need to run a marathon to burn off these two mince pies’ brigade piss me off!

My ex MIL is obsessed with how little she eats. Fine, whatever, conversation with her is as dull as shit, but she then comments about what other women and girls eat. The lads are fine to eat whatever they like but if you have a fanny, she’s on your case, watching every mouthful, telling you how many calories you’re consuming, ruining your enjoyment of what you’re eating. She once told my then 7 year old daughter there’s nothing more unattractive than a “girl who eats too much”. I.e, a girl/woman who eats more than exMIL.

Honestly, it’s a mystery as to why her granddaughter avoids her like the plague.

’does the whole performative thing over normal portion sizes’

That’s the problem. The performance bit.

I am glad to have a name for this. It's really tedious. Food as having moral qualities also is gross "I am being really naughty and having this cake".

I am resigned to being a food lover carrying extra weight, but I have also settled on intermittent fasting as a sustainable approach which helps my health generally. So, for 5 days a week I skip breakfast and delay eating til noon. I seems to have kept my weight stable, which is about all I really want.

That “funnily enough” is doing a lot of heavy lifting there

That’s awful. As long as you’re not having kippers for lunch in the office, it’s no one else’s business to criticise what you eat.

My mother does this but makes us feel like she is fat shaming and expects everyone else to eat her tiny portions too. 1 weetabix for breakfast Nd for lunch an apple and an orange segmented out onto a plate snd made to last all afternoon. We know it is all performance because she has a secret biscuit tin and never says no to a cupcake at her coffee mornings! She never offers anything beyond a rich tea or cream cracker to her grandkids as a treat and never buys them sweets or gives them sweety money and if they buy sweets while we visit they seem to magically disappear if they are set down only to be found on too of the fridge freezer! We now arrive laden with snacks and lunch bits and the kids bring their tuck tin!

I was abroad with BIL & SIL and a friend last year. DH and I like our grub. They bought 2 small pizzas for lunch between 5 of us. I saw tears in DH's eyes.