Page 6 | Tedious performative under eaters

LuckySantangelo35 · 22/02/2023 12:01

SlimPig · 22/02/2023 10:46

I can cope with barely no dinner if I have a BIG breakfast around mid morning/lunchtime, like a caff breakfast, then I can have something small like cheese and crackers or cheese on toast or a fried egg sandwich etc, but otherwise, no, I need at least 2 meals a day. I can skip breakfast quite easily.

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@SlimPig

lol cheese on toast or a fried egg sandwich are hardly light snacks Op!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 22/02/2023 12:01

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 22/02/2023 10:38

Back when I used to work in the office there was one woman who would only ever have half of anything on offer no matter what it was,

Samosas - oh goodness they look and smell lovely but there's no way I can eat a whole one, will anyone split it with me.

Even biscuits, the jammy dodgers or custard creams would come out and she'd painstakingly break the fuckers in half and leave the other half in the tin.

That's annoying. I would have asked her not to put the other half back in the tin because who the hell wants other people's fingers in something they're going to eat?

Twits like her should just not have a biscuit, samosa or whatever - but shut up about it, nobody cares.

KindlyKanga · 22/02/2023 12:02

I was starving and had to make a conscious effort to eat it slowly because they were fucking about and pushing it round the box and I didn't want to look a pig why did you do that? Just eat how you want. Otherwise you're fueling the cycle of deliberately eating slowly

potniatheron · 22/02/2023 12:02

I agree on the performative undereating. In my experience people who do this tend to eat a lot more in private or just with their families. It's such a first world problem. Just get your head down and eat what you want and save or bin the rest, imho.

It used to be only women who do this but now I've noticed some men getting in on the act too. Enforced beauty standards and shame about food.

I wouldn't want fish and chips for an office lunch but that's only because it would put me to sleep in the afternoon. A battered sausage and chips is my favourite Saturday night treat to grab on the way home from my hobby group though. Usually split (unequally) between me and the dog.

Original poster

SlimPig · 22/02/2023 12:02

LuckySantangelo35 · 22/02/2023 11:55

@SlimPig

to be fair op, a lot of people wouldn’t want dinner in the evening if they’d had fish and chips for lunch. It is a big lunch.
and also not everyone wants to wolf down their food as quickly as possibly.

Thats fair enough, I probably only had a snack in the evening that day, but do they really need to comment continuously on how big the portion is, how they can't eat it, how they won't need to eat for at least dinner and probably breakfast ect etc etc?

OP posts:

lieselotte · 22/02/2023 12:02

VivaciousRadish · 22/02/2023 11:52

My parents share a satsuma. Pears and apples too, but the satsuma horrifies me.

That is a bit ludicrous. DH and I will share a pastry if we go out, but sharing fruit is really silly (except sometimes when he's peeled an orange I will be irritating and ask if I can have a bit because I am too lazy to peel one for myself).

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 22/02/2023 12:02

I know several people like this, one in particular who is really bad. They kind of go through stages - and can go say, a year with being OK, and then they'll go on a diet - and their 'performative undereating' is just so, so irritating and nauseating. (It goes on for 6-8 months sometimes!) They get particularly irritated and annoyed if somebody else is eating less than them, and if somebody loses more weight than them. (If/when they are dieting.)

This one particular person who is very annoying, will be very proud of having just half a tin of soup and a yoghurt and half a banana for the whole day. And the next day, even more proud when they only have a banana and an apple. On the third day, they have two bottles of water and a banana, and they grin proudly and say 'I've been so GOOD today. I have only ate a banana! ALL DAY.'

They were silently fuming when their partner actually had a tummy bug for a few days, and went without eating anything for 3 days. Because that means they ate less than them LOL. They were TELLING their partner 'YOU NEED TO EAT!!!' God forbid they ate LESS, and lost more weight that week! But yes, peoples 'performative undereating' is extremely irritating. Maybe they can't help it, but it's still really irritating.

Bogofftosomewherehot · 22/02/2023 12:02

@WinterLobelia - I'd have dropped kicked her supercilious, opinionated arse out of my front door - along with the rest of the bacon bap to eat on the way home!

LuckySantangelo35 · 22/02/2023 12:02

Greatly · 22/02/2023 11:56

Or eat theirs, someone else's then cake.

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@Greatly

that would be really greedy wouldn’t it

ButtOutBobsMum · 22/02/2023 12:03

I'm currently trying to lose weight and am finding that skipping breakfast is working well to create the calorie deficit I need and then I eat a normal lunch and dinner. So basically I'm doing 16:8.

I joined an IF Facebook group to get inspiration for low cal lunches. I quickly realised that it is a forum to legitimize not only the competitive under eaters but also those with eating disorders. 24/36/48 hour fasts were common and some were going for 4/5 days!! They were applauded as heroes and got loads of encouragement!! I'm sorry but how on earth can that be healthy?! Plus they were exercising during their fasts!! I was and quickly left!

VyeBrator · 22/02/2023 12:03

SlimPig · 22/02/2023 10:40

I also worked with someone once that only ate one of the tiny M&S side salad bowls for lunch (not the proper salad, the titchy ticthy one) and it was all she had all day. I was really young and thought I was eating too much and greedy - because she was older, glamourous (seeming to me at the time - going out to all the bars in London after work etc). This sort of thing can be so damaging, especially if a lot of people are doing it (90's heroin chic innit 🙄).

Oh I've just seen this, in that case I definitely think my previous post was spot on.

Keep your eyes on your own plate and never worry about what others eat.

ichundich · 22/02/2023 12:03

SlimPig · 22/02/2023 10:30

The thread about the PIL's measly portions reminded me of this, and how iritating it is. I remember once at work they bought us all fish and chips on one friday afternoon. When it arrived the two other women started their bs as soon as they were handed their box - oohh the weight of that! I'll never eat all that! Hadn't even opened it and looked at it yet.

Then, once opened, both of them, oh my god, I'll never eat all that (measly takeaway cardboard box portion, not a massive, in paper, large portion) ooh dear, we won't need dinner, or breakfast tomorrow now will we! Don't think I can eat my peas too, I'm so stuffed. I'm going to need to go for two runs tomorrow now! On and on, through the whole meal.

I was starving and had to make a conscious effort to eat it slowly because they were fucking about and pushing it round the box and I didn't want to look a pig, I'm a fast eater anyway, but that meal was just so god awful! In the end I just ate it at my normal speed.

Why? Why do people do this? Why can't they just eat their food normally? Why does everything have to be justified and offset? Just strikes me as so sad that they couldn't just eat their food without a whole performance (infront of all the men in the office, only 3 women there, me and them) of how birdlike they normally eat 😥

Judging by the obesity rate amongst adults in the UK most people have no idea about what constitutes a "normal sized" portion anymore.

ArtixLynx · 22/02/2023 12:04

i loathe people like this.. i have generally found, in my experience, that because i am overweight, they are doing it to try and make me feel like shit about what i do eat.

eat what you want, let me eat what i want, and shut the fuck up.

LuckySantangelo35 · 22/02/2023 12:04

SlimPig · 22/02/2023 12:02

Thats fair enough, I probably only had a snack in the evening that day, but do they really need to comment continuously on how big the portion is, how they can't eat it, how they won't need to eat for at least dinner and probably breakfast ect etc etc?

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@SlimPig

it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest

I can’t work out why you’re so wound up about it tbh

ItsCalledAConversation · 22/02/2023 12:04

I’ve taught my kids that it’s rude to comment on what someone else is eating, because it is. It seems the world is split between people who like to trough and people who are over faced by troughers. Fair enough. No body wants to hear about it though, either way!

UpperLowerMiddleClass · 22/02/2023 12:06

I 100% agree OP. And not only is the performative undereating tiring, often the person doing it is lying, or being hypocritical.

My mum is one of those ‘after this massive lunch I won’t need any dinner types’. But then - spoiler alert - would eat dinner later.

And then there’s my MIL going on and on about how could anyone possibly manage a pudding after a (average sized) main course in a restaurant, as I work my way through a nice slab of sticky toffee pudding. She would never eat a pudding… She does daily drink at least 3 glasses of wine, but that’s somehow different in her mind, even if it’s more calories than my pudding!

In my experience it’s tended to be older women who do this, and so hopefully it’s something that will fade away over time.

twitterexile · 22/02/2023 12:06

LuluBlakey1 · 22/02/2023 11:49

I had a flatmate who cut a Mars bar into 7 pieces every Monday, put it on a plate in the Fridge, and ate a piece every night after tea.

I think that this is not a bad idea - a little sweet treat after dinner is quite nice!

LuckySantangelo35 · 22/02/2023 12:06

SlimPig · 22/02/2023 10:40

I also worked with someone once that only ate one of the tiny M&S side salad bowls for lunch (not the proper salad, the titchy ticthy one) and it was all she had all day. I was really young and thought I was eating too much and greedy - because she was older, glamourous (seeming to me at the time - going out to all the bars in London after work etc). This sort of thing can be so damaging, especially if a lot of people are doing it (90's heroin chic innit 🙄).

@SlimPig

maybe watching what she ate was how
she stayed glam at an older age. Your metabolism can slow down as you get older.

what do you think she should have done?? Stuffed herself in order to make you feel better about yourself and your own eating habits?

Original poster

SlimPig · 22/02/2023 12:06

VyeBrator · 22/02/2023 12:00

I'm not sure about this OP.

On the face of it the whole performance (if you can put your hand on your heart and say you haven't exaggerated it) does sound annoying, but your description of how 'small and measly' it was sounds as though you have a problem with other people's smaller appetites?

What's 'small and measly' to one person, will be either enough or more than enough for another person.

It sounds as though you might have a problem in thinking your own appetite is something to be ashamed of?

It's not and it's personal to you, just as other people's is to them 🤷

I didn't say the portion was small and measly. I said it was a normal portion and small compared to what you get if you get large chips served in paper.

Nice insinuations too btw.

OP posts:

rexythedinosaur · 22/02/2023 12:06

@VyeBrator I really don't think OP has a problem with other people's smaller appetites.

It's the 'performative undereating' and the constant moaning about it.

They are pointing out how little they eat and what delicate little appetites they have compared to other people, which is just a passive way of being unpleasant and judgemental.

It's really off putting when you're trying to enjoy a treat to have other people moaning on about how many calories are in it.

twitterexile · 22/02/2023 12:07

In my experience it’s tended to be older women who do this, and so hopefully it’s something that will fade away over time
🙄

LoveableDave · 22/02/2023 12:07

Aurorabored · 22/02/2023 10:52

’does the whole performative thing over normal portion sizes’

That’s the problem. The performance bit.

I am always reminded of Hamish's mother in Polo when I read threads like this, she would take mounds of food so she could make a performance of leaving it, Cooper used a phrase I can't quite recall and I'm too knackered to go upstairs to find it, something like 'conspicous leaving'.
My late MIL would complain if her chop was the same size as her son's and cut some off for his plate then look at me, expecting me to do the same.

VyeBrator · 22/02/2023 12:07

SlimPig · 22/02/2023 12:02

Thats fair enough, I probably only had a snack in the evening that day, but do they really need to comment continuously on how big the portion is, how they can't eat it, how they won't need to eat for at least dinner and probably breakfast ect etc etc?

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Come on now OP, you're losing any credibility you might've had by claiming they wouldn't be able to eat dinner later and 'probably breakfast'.

The more you post, the more this appears to be about you and what you think about yourself.

Work on that, because no-one around you is going to change their behaviour or their appetites to please you.

Original poster

SlimPig · 22/02/2023 12:08

LuckySantangelo35 · 22/02/2023 12:01

@SlimPig

lol cheese on toast or a fried egg sandwich are hardly light snacks Op!

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They are hardly a large dinner though are they.

Do toddle off with your implications of greed. You are tedious.

OP posts:

Bookworm20 · 22/02/2023 12:08

I'm a fast eater anyway, but that meal was just so god awful! In the end I just ate it at my normal speed.

This is the only bit I find quite odd tbh. If it was so terrible, why on earth did you eat it?

Perhaps they thought it was grim too and their loud announcements at not being able to finish it was purely because they didn't want to eat it - as they too thought it was god awful but didn't want to look ungrateful?

On the other hand, the portion you showed is a large portion. I am not someone who announces how much or how little I eat, but if someone had bought me that and it was both grim and that size, I may well say something along the lines of not being able to finish it, purely so I didn't have to or seem like I hadn't appreciated the gesture.