Page 4 | Tedious performative under eaters

SlimPig · 2023-02-22T10:30:04+00:00

The thread about the PIL's measly portions reminded me of this, and how iritating it is. I remember once at work they bought us all fish and chips on one friday afternoon. When it arrived the two other women started their bs as soon as they were handed their box - oohh the weight of that! I'll never eat all that! Hadn't even opened it and looked at it yet. Then, once opened, both of them, oh my god, I'll never eat all that (measly takeaway cardboard box portion, not a massive, in paper, large portion) ooh dear, we won't need dinner, or breakfast tomorrow now will we! Don't think I can eat my peas too, I'm so stuffed. I'm going to need to go for two runs tomorrow now! On and on, through the whole meal. I was starving and had to make a conscious effort to eat it slowly because they were fucking about and pushing it round the box and I didn't want to look a pig, I'm a fast eater anyway, but that meal was just so god awful! In the end I just ate it at my normal speed. Why? Why do people do this? Why can't they just eat their food normally? Why does everything have to be justified and offset? Just strikes me as so sad that they couldn't just eat their food without a whole performance (infront of all the men in the office, only 3 women there, me and them) of how birdlike they normally eat 😥

Greatly · 22/02/2023 11:34

It's really interesting that people think eating healthily is showing off. Eating smaller portions, not eating cakes and biscuits and sugar and lots of greasy carbs like fish and chips is healthy. Some people want to eat healthily. Sorry if that makes you feel bad.

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 22/02/2023 11:34

But it isn’t about the actual portion size, truly no one gives a shit about how much you’re going to eat but you don’t need to take out a 2 page spread in The Telegraph to announce it.

just eat what you want to eat

amicissimma · 22/02/2023 11:34

@Lastqueenofscotland2, re-read the second paragraph of the OP. Clearly complaining when others found their portions too large.

Original poster

SlimPig · 22/02/2023 11:35

OoooohMatron · 22/02/2023 11:33

That is annoying then! Why not just eat what you can and dispose of the rest without making a fuss.

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I'd find it just as annoying if they were bigger. It was the constant stream of it that annoyedme. I wouldn't have even registered it if they commented once, but they went on and on, and on.

OP posts:

gawditswindy · 22/02/2023 11:35

Greatly · 22/02/2023 11:34

It's really interesting that people think eating healthily is showing off. Eating smaller portions, not eating cakes and biscuits and sugar and lots of greasy carbs like fish and chips is healthy. Some people want to eat healthily. Sorry if that makes you feel bad.

Nobody is suggesting eating healthily is showing off. They're saying that making a performance out of not being able to finish a meal is showing off.

But I think you know that.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 22/02/2023 11:36

‘I also found out that a friend's wife always ate before she went out so she could just have a starter when she was out to seem like she was eating less.’

this is in Gone with the Wind! So it has always been a thing.

BreviloquentBastard · 22/02/2023 11:37

Conversely, as someone who genuinely doesn't eat much and does fill up on small portions (I don't make a performance of it though), it's very annoying how much my food gets commented on in the office.

Every day someone is trying to push a cake or a biscuit or "shall we get chips again today, oh come on don't be a spoilsport, you never eat anything!".

It's really draining. I would refuse fish and chips for lunch because it would genuinely ruin my appetite for the day - and then when doing so I know I have to deal with the "for god's sake you won't gain weight from one chippie!" comments all lunch time. If I have a small salad I get snipey little comments about it.

I agree the performance is annoying, but I also feel it's a no win situation. Women are judged when they eat a lot, judged when they don't, judged when they eat a whole portion of chips and judged when they don't want any.

ItsCalledAConversation · 22/02/2023 11:37

SlimPig · 22/02/2023 11:24

It was the cardboard box takeaway portion, like shown here.

I think these are small compared to the portion you'd (used to) get in a London chip shop if they wrapped it in paper. Those were massive. And we don't eat a lot. We would get one large (paper) chips between 4 or 5 (lunch) and there would still probably be some left over.

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Hmm, thanks for the pic OP, but unless I was pregnant or due on I wouldn’t be able to eat that for lunch and wouldn’t want to have to try in front of an office full of people, sorry. I’d want to split it with someone and not feel all sick and full and greasy all day. If I just quietly left half I bet some smart arse would come along and comment about that, so why not just say I can’t eat that, does anyone want to split it.

OP you don’t seem to understand some people have smaller appetites than you, that’s not performative undereating (which I get is just as annoying as “aren’t you going to finish that, what a waste”), it’s just people having different tastes.

PeonyRose80 · 22/02/2023 11:37

amicissimma · 22/02/2023 11:29

I'm a small eater. I find it very off-putting to be faced with a huge plate of food that I'm never going to be able to eat. If I ask for a small portion I don't see that it hurts you to just reduce the amount you put in front of me. Like anyone else, sometimes in life something gets me down (an off-putting portion of food yet again ) and a negative comment escapes me. Am I not allowed that because you feel differently?

Someone I'm close to is in a hospice dying of cancer. She really struggles to eat and, like me, is easily put off eating at all if too much food is put in front of her. You'd think they'd understand this in a hospice, but no. She asks for one quarter of a round of sandwiches and they give her a whole round and admonish her for not eating, when she pushes it away.

I don't care how much you eat and don't object to your preferred portion size. Please afford me the same courtesey and don't press more food on me than I can manage. It doesn't hurt you, but it's a problem for me. And no, I'm not competitively under eating. I'm just trying to eat as I like, just as you are. I habitually eat what I need and have remained the same weight in this way for over 40 years.

That’s great, I have no issue with that… you can have ur qtr, I can have my whole sandwich, we can chat about the latest movies over lunch and all is good.

What the issue is the commentary from people/attention seeking about how they can’t eat x,y,z as it’s too much…. constantly going on about it. Take what you want, leave what you want but don’t make a song and dance about it…. it’s boring!!

Not saying you personally do this PP, just an example.

Galadriel90 · 22/02/2023 11:38

@Greatly you've missed OPs point by a mile. She doesn't care what you eat. She just doesn't want you to go on about it!

Original poster

SlimPig · 22/02/2023 11:40

ItsCalledAConversation · 22/02/2023 11:37

Hmm, thanks for the pic OP, but unless I was pregnant or due on I wouldn’t be able to eat that for lunch and wouldn’t want to have to try in front of an office full of people, sorry. I’d want to split it with someone and not feel all sick and full and greasy all day. If I just quietly left half I bet some smart arse would come along and comment about that, so why not just say I can’t eat that, does anyone want to split it.

OP you don’t seem to understand some people have smaller appetites than you, that’s not performative undereating (which I get is just as annoying as “aren’t you going to finish that, what a waste”), it’s just people having different tastes.

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I do understand that people have different appetites. I couldn't care what people eat or how much of it. Its the fact that they have to continuously TELL me how little they can eat.

OP posts:

twitterexile · 22/02/2023 11:40

SlimPig · 22/02/2023 11:24

It was the cardboard box takeaway portion, like shown here.

I think these are small compared to the portion you'd (used to) get in a London chip shop if they wrapped it in paper. Those were massive. And we don't eat a lot. We would get one large (paper) chips between 4 or 5 (lunch) and there would still probably be some left over.

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I think that this is a hefty portion and would probably not finish it. Stop with the judgement and just crack on with your life.

YellowDaffodillie · 22/02/2023 11:40

Greatly · 22/02/2023 11:34

It's really interesting that people think eating healthily is showing off. Eating smaller portions, not eating cakes and biscuits and sugar and lots of greasy carbs like fish and chips is healthy. Some people want to eat healthily. Sorry if that makes you feel bad.

Exactly the sort of cunty thing my DH might come out with. Sorry not sorry!

sjxoxo · 22/02/2023 11:40

I have relatives like this and the sharing of chips is a three act stage show. The rest of us just get on with it and refuse to dawdle. I think it comes from having very little to eat when they were young- now as adults they have the means to live well but still fret over any expense. When I go and visit I have to drag them away from cheapy coffee places or subsidised eating places as they are so so set in this mindset of what I would say is living in poverty to the extent of every penny counting.
My grandad was a little like this although not as bad as the other relatives, and he has passed away recently leaving an estate of £2m!!! And he would have had coffee at the YMCA out of choice… it’s a bit shameful really but they just aren’t capable of change!!! X

JamSandle · 22/02/2023 11:40

SlimPig · 22/02/2023 11:13

Because it was in my earhole the entire time I was trying to enjoy my food?

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Fair enough. I dont really understand why someone would give a running commentary on what there eating. It is a bit weird. Eat or don't eat.

Lottapianos · 22/02/2023 11:41

'Some people want to eat healthily. Sorry if that makes you feel bad.'

Totally, but it's the performance element that is so tedious

OP, I know what you mean and I find it really sad. It's like they have such guilt over eating that they feel they have to make loud excuses for it, when no one else actually gives a fig. Ditto referring to foods as 'good' or 'naughty', talking about how 'bad' you were at the weekend because you had cake or whatever. They must be beating themselves up constantly around food, drink and exercise. Really sad, but very tiresome to be around

OhMaria2 · 22/02/2023 11:41

Some people have small stomachs. Get a grip

KindlyKanga · 22/02/2023 11:42

SlimPig · 22/02/2023 10:40

I also worked with someone once that only ate one of the tiny M&S side salad bowls for lunch (not the proper salad, the titchy ticthy one) and it was all she had all day. I was really young and thought I was eating too much and greedy - because she was older, glamourous (seeming to me at the time - going out to all the bars in London after work etc). This sort of thing can be so damaging, especially if a lot of people are doing it (90's heroin chic innit 🙄).

There's nothing wrong with that - unless she's banging on about it.

ItsCalledAConversation · 22/02/2023 11:43

SlimPig · 22/02/2023 11:40

I do understand that people have different appetites. I couldn't care what people eat or how much of it. Its the fact that they have to continuously TELL me how little they can eat.

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I mean this kindly OP, but no you don’t. You’ve said you think this is a “normal” portion and expressed frustration that people can’t just get on and eat what you eat.

Badger1970 · 22/02/2023 11:44

I don't care how much or how little anyone eats but I do mind having to hear about it.

DrManhattan · 22/02/2023 11:44

Not sure why anyone needs to comment on what's anyone else is or isn't eating. It doesn't effect you in any way.

takealettermsjones · 22/02/2023 11:45

learieonthewildmoor · 22/02/2023 11:12

I know a woman who performs having a dainty appetite. Go out to dinner and she’ll order the appetiser as her main and be absolutely stuffed, couldn’t possibly have dessert. It’s part of her performance of femininity. She also faints.
I’ve stopped going out to eat with her, it’s too annoying.

She probably faints because she hasn't eaten enough!

Original poster

SlimPig · 22/02/2023 11:46

ItsCalledAConversation · 22/02/2023 11:43

I mean this kindly OP, but no you don’t. You’ve said you think this is a “normal” portion and expressed frustration that people can’t just get on and eat what you eat.

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The portion given out in a cardboard box is a normal portion, its what you get in all places that serve their fish and chips in cardboard boxes.

I haven't expressed frustration at anything other than other peoples need to continuoulsy harp on about how big the portion is, and that they can't possibly eat it all. If they left 75% of it, or ate it all, I couldn't care less, I just don't want to listen to performative under eating for the whole meal, and then how stuffed they were for the whole afternoon.

OP posts:

SpangoDweller · 22/02/2023 11:46

I am so glad I work somewhere this doesn’t happen. It has in the past - people in the office sipping cup-a-soups 🤮 whilst commenting on my leftover chicken, rice and broccoli. Yes, I have eaten three times as much as you and yes, it’s much healthier, and no I don’t want a biscuit because I’m actually full and I’m not surprised a cup-a-soup has left you hungry.

Galadriel90 · 22/02/2023 11:46

OP I've known quite a few people like this. I hazard a guess that most people that have worked in an office with lots of other women will have noticed this. I eat really fast so that ALWAYS gets remarked upon! I would never comment about how much people eat or at what pace. It strikes me as very rude!