Grandfather smacked DS bottom

[ranblungs]

DS can have meltdowns/big tantrums, usually when he's very tired. More so when he's at his grandparents' house (ex's parents). They have communicated to me that they found his behaviour very difficult at one point, but it seems to have resolved now.

ExDP did live with them but moved our two weeks ago.

DS (aged 4) told me yesterday evening that grandad had smacked his bottom because he was being naughty and that it "really hurt" he got upset as he was telling me and cried. I get the impression this wasn't necessarily recent.

DS also can play up at bed time when he is there and he told me that grandad pushes him back onto the bed for being naughty at bed time.

I'm not sure what to do next?

They are huge sources of childcare, ExDP is supposed to have him two nights per week but often works away so they will have him. They also help out during the week as/when needed.

The relationship between us was once very strained when DS was tiny.

I am furious that he has hit my child. Am I overreacting as it was just a smack on the bottom?

DS can be very challenging there.

But where do you draw the lion on assault?

If you feel that young humans aren't sentient, and you need to smack them to make them competent and useful then I can absolutely believe that Attenborough documentaries are your parenting guide rather than a bit of gentle Sunday viewing like they are for most people.

There are lots of things that animals do, that are not advisable for humans to do. You know that, right?

You are literally advocating behaving like an animal, and using it as an excuse for hitting small people. It's dead weird.

Having said all that, it's important that we don't get catty.

You're right, that should be the lion in the sand.

I think we can all agree that this chat has been a roaring success.

I'm enjoying the puns! For the record, I don't suggest physical punishment but there are occasions and behaviours when a quick nip nips worse in the bud.

It is our role as parents to turn our children into sentient, competent useful members of society,

But less intelligent, according to research.

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/09/090924231749.htm

even when they have special needs.

W.T.A.F. So not only do you advocate physical chastisement on children, but on children with special needs?

I think this is literally suggesting physical punishment?

Although, not a quick slap now, we have moved on to a quick nip? Are you actually a real life lion? It's all gone a bit weird.

So you don't suggest physical punishment but you do promote hitting.

Like I said, I'm happy to be considered mad by these people. I can't tell if they truly don't realise what they're saying or if they're just having us on by lion about what they think.

No. I;m waiting for your undisciplined toddlers to hit their teenage years. I just hope I live a long,long way away from them.

I haven't mentioned additional needs, anywhere on this thread. If your kids are ND, I wish you godspeed and a quick diagnosis and a lot of help. But normal naughty... I don't like long sanctions, I prefer a quick sharp response. Don't do that, and an immediate reaction.

I don't suggest violent treatment of small children.

Sometimes, not all the time, the quick, cheap antidote to bad behaviour is... a quick and temporarily painful smack.

A great example of cognitive dissonance in action.

I'm out (again).

✌🏻

I haven't mentioned additional needs, anywhere on this thread.

This is definitely weird.

even when they have special needs.

@EffortlessDesmond either you've been slamming back the pinot since about 8pm yesterday or you've been watching documentaries on Goldfish as well as Lions.

... either way, keep it up as you're doing a good job.

Interesting research on lower IQs of children that were spanked.

Might explain the behaviour of some people on this thread?

Would a clever person promote a technique known to lower intelligence?

You were spanked, weren’t you Rene?

Sorry, but without a trust dynamic and a safeword, that's just creepy.

Evening, everyone. This thread seems to have been a bit derailed from the OP's concerns for her son. Could we draw a line under all the personal disagreements here and get things back on track? Thanks.