Grandfather smacked DS bottom

[ranblungs]

DS can have meltdowns/big tantrums, usually when he's very tired. More so when he's at his grandparents' house (ex's parents). They have communicated to me that they found his behaviour very difficult at one point, but it seems to have resolved now.

ExDP did live with them but moved our two weeks ago.

DS (aged 4) told me yesterday evening that grandad had smacked his bottom because he was being naughty and that it "really hurt" he got upset as he was telling me and cried. I get the impression this wasn't necessarily recent.

DS also can play up at bed time when he is there and he told me that grandad pushes him back onto the bed for being naughty at bed time.

I'm not sure what to do next?

They are huge sources of childcare, ExDP is supposed to have him two nights per week but often works away so they will have him. They also help out during the week as/when needed.

The relationship between us was once very strained when DS was tiny.

I am furious that he has hit my child. Am I overreacting as it was just a smack on the bottom?

DS can be very challenging there.

I bet someone has a sore finger from jabbing away at the report button though 🤣

I like the assumption that only I could think your posts are abusive. That's an interesting thought process right there.

But if you think they've been unfairly deleted, guess what I think you should do?

Oh, don't get me wrong. I'd throw cushions at DH too. To complain or express disapproval.

But if you think they've been unfairly deleted, guess what I think you should do?
because I couldn't give a fuck that they've been deleted! They were deleted because you reported them because you didn't like me responding rudely to your very rude posts to me.
I am only bothered now that you are lying about their content. I expect you will report this one too.

It's not conflated with anything other than mis-behaviour. Obviously not the right response if special needs are involved, I'm only referring to routine diobedience.

Heh. You and I both know I haven't lied about anything.

And yes, you care so little about deletions thar you came back hours later to argue all evening about them. Mm hmm.

Unless you're going to explain why your methods are an improvement on smacking? We never did get an answer.

Oh my god. Life really is too short for this shit. I'm not even sure you even have kids, you've spent every minute of the last 72 hours screaming abuse at everyone on this thread. Have a nice life.

Unless you're going to explain why your methods are an improvement on smacking? We never did get an answer.

Paxman alert.

Rene take the hint. Nobody is going to take the bait.

Not every minute. I got a phone call on Thursday afternoon, remember?

And I'm guessing that's another no on the old question. Ah well.

Nobody is going to take the bait?

Nobody is going to answer the question more like.

And actually, I would hope that everyone caring for my DC would be caring yet also disciplinary as and when needed. IMHO, children need as much telling off as encouragement, but it doesn't have to be unkind and thoughtless or violent. It takes a lot of (adult) consideration to comment constructively on behaviour, and in the early years a tap of discomfort can help bring an unruly child into line quickly. Better done at three than at 13.

Better done at three than at 13.

Why's that? Not so keen on slapping them when they're as big as you

Whoops. I've obviously stepped into a private fight. I'll leave you to it.

in the early years a tap of discomfort can help bring an unruly child into line quickly.

It's more likely to cause them further distress that isn't at all conducive to learning to regulate emotions. You might get a bit of immediate compliance depending on the situation but it doesn't teach them anything other than "because I said so", which should never be a reason for any parenting decision.

It's lazy and counterproductive

Thats just a question, it's not a fight.

It's just easier to teach three year olds how to play nicely.

It's OK, I think we're done. Who had a fiver on the blue corner? Hand me my towel.

I'd also like an answer to GoldDuster's question.

By hitting them?

Can you tell me a bit more about your thought process here?

Which hitting them doesn't do.

I remember after a smacking incident at about that age, I went on to hit my teddy bears, imagining they were misbehaving. Is that nice play?

Reading this thread just literally makes my eyes roll out of my skull.

For centuries children have had slapped bottoms, a vast majority grew up to be perfectly well balanced individuals myself and all six brothers and sisters.

No wonder the UK is going to pot a snakes botty is suddenly abuse and needs reporting Jesus how the world has become pathetic. 🙄

I don't know your children or your situation, and will not have an opinion. IMO small children need an immediate direct response to correct bad behaviour.

😂I suspect there more to this than your telling. I have heard it all now....

I don' think we can credit the UK Going To Pot (or any other Daily Fail headlines) to a decline in hitting of small children.

I know right. No wonder the latest generation are turning into arseholes

Oh I see any opposing view must be a daily mail headline, sounds like you want to live in a regime, I hear North Korea is nice this time of year.