Asking him to get rid of his dog after 7 years?

[Uktousa2022]

I am moving to the USA to be with my fiance. He has a pitbull/lab who has previously bit a little yorkie, the yorkie did start the fight, however unfortunately the yorkie died because the pitbull punctured a lung after 1 bite.

I have 2 cavalier dogs. I have extreme anxiety about taking my 2 dogs over there to live with this dog that has previously bit before. My fiancé says it was a total one off, he has since been neutered and is older now, and it was the other dogs fault. I have met the dog and it does pretty much sleep all day.

I just don't know if I can live my life anxious always watching my dogs around this dog - It is a small house - I really don't know how to get over this as we are both refusing to rehome our dogs. He does have family nearby that he could probably give him too, I would be going out to the US with just my dogs.

If you can't sort a dog dispute with him - don't have children with him!

(Do you want to bring a baby up with a dog you think is dangerous?)

There's a lot of people criticising this poor guy - and I'm not seeing the OP leaping to defend him. Not sure the dogs are the problem here....

If neither you can compromise over a dog/dogs it doesn't sound promising for the future. I would give up a pet for someone I loved. What state are you moving to? Depending on the climate it may be kindest to leave your dogs in the Uk.

On a separate note if you have children together in the US they will be US citizens. Which means if he turns out to be truly awful and you split you will have one hell of a battle trying to return to the UK with your children.

Make sure you are 100% about the move and give it a few years before starting a family. And re-home the pitbull before you have kids.

I would never, ever consider any pitbull to be harmless. so you're not being unreasonable in not wanting to take your dogs to be with that dog, but tbh I think your only option is rehome your dogs or bin the man. If you do go there, without your dogs, hopefully you can both get a few joint dogs in a few years once the pitbull has died and hopefully hasn't killed anything else.

Doesn't sound like there is much over there for you OP, how did this relationship start?

This.

Crikey you're giving up loads to be with this man. Are you sure it's a good idea?

How much time have you spent together in real?

Do you really want to be living with a man who treats his dog the way he does? He doesn't seem very kind to it - and the way someone is kind or not to animals translates to people too. Kindness is a really important trait in a partner.

Do you really want to have kids in a household with a pitbull?

I think you're both being a bit unreasonable. You should be intending to do some meet and greets on neutral territory etc before moving 3 dogs in together. Are you moving into your boyfriends home (and into his dogs space) or buying a new space together? You can't make a decision on how the dogs will react until you see how they interact together in a variety of contexts. Pitbulls can be wonderful pets but are highly impulsive so your boyfriend should be doing consistent training focused on impulsivity with his dog and making sure they get enough exercise and mental stimulation. I wouldn't be expecting a dog with those energy levels to be sleeping all day if it's only 7? I agree that all dogs have their limits and if any dog is attacked or threatened it will defend itself eventually. Could you invest in a behaviourist to oversee and help you integrate the dogs right from the get go and then you might be able to find a way to keep them all together? To be honest I agree with pps that your dogs are going to be the most put out by this in terms of quarantine/transport/ change in home/ change in weather etc. They're going to have a highly stressful time. So it makes more sense for you to rehome your dogs than him rehome his. It's also less likely his dog would be rehomed successfully due to bully breeds being over represented in shelters, his age and that there is a bite history regardless of circumstances.

7 - but my dogs do not act like that - they are hyper and love life - they enjoy walks and always want to get out the house. He comes home, lets the dog out and it goes for a wee and runs back inside and goes back to laying on the sofa sleeping?

Let’s hope neither of you’s are planning to have kids.

In regards to the kids thing, I asked him this before. His answer was "My dog will defend that baby to the death of him because he knows it is my kid and part of me" - not sure I agree

Don’t give up your dogs or expect him to give up his. When you bring a pet into your life it is a commitment for life. You need to problem solve around that commitment, as does your fiancé.

So the guy is also as dumb as a box of rocks, or delusional.

Please don't trap yourself in this relationship, OP.

It sounds like a bad idea all round, just knock it on the head and find a new boyfriend nearer home.

And I think YABVVVU to want him to give up his dog. How a dog lover would ask another owner to do that, is beyond me. I would pick my dog over you if I were him.

It’s unfair for you to ask him to move his dog elsewhere, it’s unfair for you not to take your dogs

personally I wouldn’t be going until something happens to either of them

lol so you also agree dogs would not be able to sense it is his child?

Hi. I’d be nervous moving my dogs in with a breed like that too. Dogs don’t like other dogs on their patch. My sweet natured dogs are different once another dog comes in our house. Could you move out there and live separately from him? The dogs could familiarise themselves over the next year or two when you meet for walkies before moving in together? On the bright side, his dog would be happier once you arrive as it’d finally be getting a walk and you would find the transition easier as it might be too much living together anyway. 😉 Good luck with everything. You’ll find a solution.

His dog is neglected and no, neglecting an animal isn't an American thing either.
Poor thing locked in a crate all day, never walked, no training.

How much time have you actually spent with him in person?

So the guy is also as dumb as a box of rocks, or delusional.

Please don't trap yourself in this relationship, OP.

I agree. His is one gene pool that does not need to be propagated. He does not show adequate care for his dog's wellbeing, far less your dogs. And as for a baby...

He said the pitbull will "defend" his baby because he will protect it and love it like his own, because he will be able to sense that it is his kid.

I couldn't trust someone who treated their dog like that. American or not, breed irrelevant.

Aside from his ability to talk absolute bollocks, what makes this guy a person worth leaving your entire life for?

Don't go, end the relationship and find someone who is kind to animals and will keep any children you have safe and who doesn't expect you to give up everything to live with him.

How many times have you met each other?

That's bullshit and you would be irresponsible to have a baby with someone who thinks like this.