Asking him to get rid of his dog after 7 years?

[Uktousa2022]

I am moving to the USA to be with my fiance. He has a pitbull/lab who has previously bit a little yorkie, the yorkie did start the fight, however unfortunately the yorkie died because the pitbull punctured a lung after 1 bite.

I have 2 cavalier dogs. I have extreme anxiety about taking my 2 dogs over there to live with this dog that has previously bit before. My fiancé says it was a total one off, he has since been neutered and is older now, and it was the other dogs fault. I have met the dog and it does pretty much sleep all day.

I just don't know if I can live my life anxious always watching my dogs around this dog - It is a small house - I really don't know how to get over this as we are both refusing to rehome our dogs. He does have family nearby that he could probably give him too, I would be going out to the US with just my dogs.

Do you want kids with him?

I can't wait 3 dogs all on leashes on my own every day, if that is what you are asking. Dogs fly cargo daily. I am going on this very dog previously acting aggressive.

Just out of interest, what is he giving up for your benefit?

Yes , soon

Nothing at the moment, this is my issue.

In which cause you would need to rehome your resource guarding snappy dog.

How old are you? Is this move a baby desperation thing?

no, we just both would like to start a family

I wouldn’t allow a dog that resource guards and snaps at people in my home, on top of that your dogs are a breed known for health problems, particularly breathing problems which could be problematic during a long and stressful flight.

Stay here with your dogs then.

I don't think you should move if you are unhappy with the situation. Seems like the other dog just defended itself against agression which is fair enough and it's what dogs do. If you aren't prepared to givee up your dogs then don't go.They might not even like living in America.

Is his dog old? Is he likely to live for many more years? What I’m asking I suppose is could you wait until his dog has lived out his life before going?
I do understand your dilemma. My dog is small and possessive aggressive ie if another dog, no matter the size, tried to take his toy or food he would react. I wouldn’t take my dog in these circumstances, and neither could I expect someone to give up their dog because my little squirt had the problem.

Hope you find a solution to suit you both 🐾

The dog actually doesnt have much of a life - it is usually in a crate all day while he is at work

He sounds like a peach.

Oh goodness. I totally understand that as you are giving up everything to move to the USA you wouldn't want to give up your dogs. But I also totally understand him not wanting to give up his dog! As others have said, you could try introducing them slowly - but what if that didn't work out??? And if the worst happened and the pitbull did attack your dogs, you'd never forgive yourself - and you'd probably never forgive your partner. What a horrible dilemma for you.

I see where you are coming from. Your dogs haven't killed any other dogs, and his dog has. His dog is huge in comparison to yours. His dog is caged all day. If anyone should compromise, it's absolutely him. Compounded by the fact that you are already moving to his country and leaving your family and job. Irrelevant but I would find it very hard to respect or be attracted to anyone who left their dog caged all day.

He doesn't want to give up his dog and you don't want to give up yours.

No win situation

I would no way take my dogs to a dog who has bitten and killed another dog, or have babies in the house with a pit bull x

I can see why he won't give up his dog though too.

The dog actually doesnt have much of a life - it is usually in a crate all day while he is at work

Yes, this would worry me too. Admittedly I know far more about canine behaviour than I do relationships but I cannot see how a dog lover lives happily alongside someone who appears to provide a substandard life for his dog.

How are you going to feel about a potential future baby being around your partner's dog? Lots to consider here...

Or a dog which resource guards. The op shouldn't have kids near hers either

No I am not suggesting you walk three dogs together on leads daily, I am suggesting that when you move, you'll be WFH all day so the quality of life your dogs have now is the quality of life HIS dog will have when you move, because you'll be there, dog won't need to be crated all day.

Surely you can walk your dogs, then take his for a quick trundle as well, even if its just a 15 minute break, and he can do a proper walk when he is home. Or you would BOTH walk all three dogs together morning and evening. I really don't know where you got 'walking all three dogs together' from!

Dogs die in cargo holds all the time, dogs also get shipped to the wrong place, they are forgotten on transfers and left behind mid journey, and left on the tarmac in extreme heat or cold, and injured, as well as death.

The quickest flight from UK to USA is still over 8 hours, thats 8 hours of shut in a crate, no access to the toilet or food, or water if what is supplied runs out, and no observation should they become ill.

How old are your dogs, as the risk will increase with age - have you started working on crate training them in suitable flight crates (one each, they can't travel together) so they are as relaxed as possible for as long as possible in the crates? Note that flight crates are quite different to household wire or fabric crates so you will need to train and use the real thing.

OP, why on earth have you started 4 different threads about this in various topics??

I sense that you have cold feet, OP.

I couldn't be in a relationship with somebody who thinks it's OK to leave a dog in a cage all day and doesn't take it for walks. Poor bloody dog. This man is showing you who he is; listen carefully and don't have kids with him.

If giving up everything including your dogs for this man would send you into a depression I think you really need to evaluate if this is the life you want. You’re moving for a man, that love should be all encompassing and all you need. What of your dogs were hit by a car or ran away etc? If your happiness overseas is hinging on your dogs this doesn’t seem like a sensible option.

With regards to your dogs, he’s doesn’t want to rehome a loved family pet, neither do you. It is entirely your choice to be abandoning your life but you can’t force him to abandon his pet. However they both sound like potentially dangerous dogs. His has killed another dog, yours snaps and you do nothing about it… everything about this situation is screaming disaster tbh.