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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to commit to child's party 3 months ahead?

179 replies

MsMarch · 20/02/2023 12:48

I'm all for planning ahead, but a new thing in the DC's school seems to be that people are putting kids parties in the diaries up to 3 months ahead. Obviously, I get it - they want to plan and know that their child's friends can come but the two most recent are both for Sundays in April and May.

And with the best will in the world, we haven't planned our family activities that far ahead. eg, MIL wants to visit after Easter but we're not exactly sure when she'll be here and now we've got two weekends in a row earmarked for children's parties.

I know, it sounds like I'm just doing a version of FOMO but it's not that. It's just that there are a lot of things that we might need to organise but that we're NOT organising this far ahead and now if I agree to the parties, everything we need to do has to be organised around them and quite honestly, I don't want to have to organise a family bloody bbq three months ahead!

If I was the type to say yes and then ditch the party nearer the time, perhaps fine. But I'm not. Once we commit, someone has to be in hospital before we will cancel!

AIBU to find this level of forward planning a bit annoying?

OP posts:
Daechwita · 21/02/2023 16:01

Partyandbullshit · 21/02/2023 15:51

I mean, this is still a B List, rightly or wrongly, even if you got the ts & cs wrong. You still want to fill the spaces. And actually, worse, you’re going to be inviting just a few from her class if you have gaps to fill, so those classmates who don’t get invited really won’t be making the cut.

Offended by the slightest thing, eh? Is this your only child? No logistics involving other children/ another parent or caregiver/ sports fixtures/ music lessons etc that weekend half day? Not a question of offended. Pissed off having to arrange other people around someone else’s cock up or in order to be a second thought…when you’re putting in the effort for someone who you believe has done a lovely and caring thing for your child by inviting them to their party. I’d be perfectly happy to do this with people who are up front and open about it - indeed, I have done, more than once, when it was convenient. Very grateful for the free fun for whichever child, and actually the children know where they stand and somehow have a great time for it! But if it’s underhand or not hidden from me, yes very pissed off.

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I'm not entirely sure how you inferred underhand or hidden from my posts?

She is my only child, yes. She had a brother but he died. She has cerebral palsy, chronic kidney disease, and is profoundly deaf so no sports nor music lessons to juggle, strangely enough.

Partyandbullshit · 21/02/2023 16:13

I didn’t infer underhand or hidden. I deliberately chose a hypothetical.

I’m sorry for the loss of your DS, and for your DD’s struggles.

MiddleParking · 21/02/2023 19:04

Partyandbullshit · 21/02/2023 14:29

This is even worse than the OP!! Are you saying that in order to ensure you get maximum value for money by having the maximum number of children at the venue you’ve chosen, you’ll do a second round of invitations??! To children who didn’t make the first cut??! That’s just awful! Do you even tell this second round that they’re B List? God I’d be pissed off if I ever found out my kid was just a bum on a seat.

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This is completely normal and loads of people (myself included) would be absolutely happy for their child to be invited on that basis. There was a thread the other week where loads of people said they’d happily attend a wedding to which they’d been invited last minute.

AGoldenNarwhal · 21/02/2023 19:27

MiddleParking · 21/02/2023 19:04

This is completely normal and loads of people (myself included) would be absolutely happy for their child to be invited on that basis. There was a thread the other week where loads of people said they’d happily attend a wedding to which they’d been invited last minute.

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Completely agree. I've never thought to refuse a free bouncy castle, soft play space or climbing trip for my child, just because they didn't make the first 'cut'. I might raise an eyebrow if they thought the child was a close friend and we knew the parents but, for most primary school parties, you really do just need a certain number of "bums on seats" and most parents are aware of that and wouldn't take offence.

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