Skinny privellege

[Annabella91]

Why is there shops full of clothes for women who are skinnt but nothing bigger i hate going clothes literally can never find anything in a size 16 it's all size 6 and 8 is the fat back in the 90s discrimination trend coming in again?? Shouldn't need to skinny to look nice??

Yep while I massively disagree with the "skinny privilege" there is NO WAY I'd have fitted in my pre-pregnancy clothes at 6 weeks. In fact I'm laughing even thinking about it. I lived in maternity clothes or onesies for a long time.
In fact I went to a wedding 3 months after the birth where someone asked me when I was due! Honestly. I wasn't actually that bothered though. I mean I'd just grown a human. Who cares?? The lady who asked me was more embarrassed than I was. Seriously I think at 6 weeks PP I was still a sweaty, flabby, tearful mess!

You haven't only lost 2 stone. That's bloody good going, well done!

Clothes shopping is miserable generally. I placed a huge ASOS order recently and sent all but one thing back because they all looked shit. I'm probably what you'd call skinny but they forget that even if you're slimmer, you still have boobs!

Clothes just aren't the quality they used to be. Regardless of the size.

Don't put yourself down like this. You don't need to.

Being fat has definitely gained in popularity and being thin and not being able to put on weight is terrible. I have friends with this problem and while there are conditions and meds that make losing weight hard. Honestly most of it is greed and the awful food that is advertised continually along with 'snack culture' pushed down our throats. Yes, some are obsessed with their size but I would say that is probably more linked with body dismorphia. I think fashion obsession is also unhealthy as there are actual things to worry about in this world.

@chaosmaker so you think it's terrible that some people struggle to put weight on? Well in all honesty, these people are few and far between. Yet people who may struggle to lose weight are just greedy. You really need to stop looking a food as an issue of morality. It's not a failing of these people. We live in a society with plentiful food options yet are still biologically programmed to believe food may be scarce at some point therefore we should eat as much as we can when it's available. However, it's always available. We really need to stop looking at individuals as terrible, moral failures.

YABU to use the term "skinny" to describe people who, more often than not, are perfectly healthy. "Skinny" is described as "unattractively or unusually thin", which is not correct to describe someone who is a size 6 or a size 8.

I'm very emotional at the moment i could sob for hours sometimes.

I don’t hold any resentment over other people choosing not to lose weight or not making the restrictive choices I’ve made. Or anything like that.

I am, however, irritated by people who are obese who complain perpetually that society is just not accommodating enough for their size and how they are inconvenienced by society refusing to bend to them. Rather than realising that it is their size that is inconveniencing them and to do something about it.

I get irritated when people want to pretend that obesity isn’t largely a result of over indulgence, poor diet and greed when we know that largely it is. None of those are moral failings. I’ve been obese for my height so I know how easy it is to overeat and make excuses etc. There is an element of greed and to deny that is to deny reality.

Life is easier when you’re slimmer. You have more energy, you feel better in yourself and you run the risk of less health problems. Clothes look better too. That is just the truth and it’s not said to make anyone feel bad but it’s not a privilege. Many work hard to gain and maintain their weight. That isn’t something that has just been handed to anyone.

This us versus them mentality helps no one.

Also OP I would just add that it sounds like you're struggling with your body image so you're dismissing your weightloss as "only 2 stone" but please just realise - that's actually a really significant amount of weight to lose and you should be really proud of yourself if you've been working towards losing weight.

2 stone is 28lbs - the average 2 year old toddler is 25lbs (give or take) and you've lost more than that! That's 28 packs of bacon, which when you imagine that many packs of bacon, is a hell of a lot! You really should be proud of yourself for losing 2 stone, especially while postpartum and parenting a newborn. Little steps OP!

Also takeouts are not all necessarily bad, we will often order turkish grills with a salad, not fried and limited sauces or italian grilled fish with a side salad. There are now lots of healthier take out options, even Wendys have a delicious salad selection and jacket potatoes which are obviously baked. As you can see I love takeouts 😋

Don't be so hard on yourself OP

Have you spoken with your health visitor about this? This seems to be about more than simply being unable to find decent clothes.

Does anyone in your real life know How you’re feeling at the moment?

I'm 10mo post partum. My advice for you is to not even attempt buying new clothes for several weeks, if not months.

Not only will it make you feel bad about yourself (which it clearly already is), it's a huge waste of money since chances are they won't fit you in a couple of months time.

I've cancelled my gym membership since having DS because he'll only sleep in the pram, which means I've been walking at least twice a day since he was born. Not only have I saved money, but it's helped me lose all of my baby weight (plus a bit extra). Is this something you can do? Now the weather is better and the evenings lighter I actually enjoy my walks.

Do you think you might be depressed OP? Whilst it’s disheartening not to find clothes that suit (I am guessing most us have had that happen, whatever size), your persistent sobbing is not normal I think. I am sorry you are feeling awful. Please speak to someone. A hcp or a kind friend. X

I'm very emotional at the moment i could sob for hours sometimes
It sounds like you might really benefit from talking to someone about this.

As your posts have gone on it doesn't show a healthy worldview and it sounds like your feelings about clothes shopping are likely to be stemming somewhere other than the inconvenience of shopping.

Can you contact your GP or health visitor if your HV teams are any good, I know they're not always brilliant.

If you can cut out sugar and carbs you will lose weight but its not easy to get away from the bread and the biscuits!

Because size 6 and 8 are the most common, it’s average privilege. Incidentally I’m a size 2/4 and often end up buying clothes from Massimo Dutti Kids as I can’t find my size anywhere and kid’s clothes are cheaper.

No I think 12 and 14 is the most standard. If you go to the sales it's just 6 and 20 left normally.

I used to work for a brand who would only put a few of each garment out in the store. They kept the smallest and biggest sizes in the store room and customers had to ask for them.
Problem was the customers didn't know that.

They only produced a small amount of larger sizes as they didn't sell.

I did point out the flaw to this policy.

It doesn't help that sizes have been changed. When I was eighteen I was size 10. I am approximately the same size at sixty-two (flatter arse) and I am now considered size 4/6. Not to mention my inside leg is 34".
Swamped and half-mast is not a good look.

I'm 'skinny'. Always have been skinny. I'm only saying that as the word itself always makes me feel really uncomfortable. I was bullied at school for my size and called horrible names. I spent years trying to put weight on, I only gave up a few years ago.

I've only got over my size recently, and embrace my size now, but it took me 40 odd years to get there. I'm nearly 60 and 'slim' wearing a size 6/8. I do realise how lucky I am at my time of life.

Whoops this thread was about clothes. I can never find the smaller sizes, usually plenty of 16 up. M&S seem to size really big. A size 8 hangs off me

Is this a serious post? Frankly you sound ridiculous. The shops where I live always have plenty of larger sizes. It’s called supply and demand. Pick your dummy up!

Remember shopping in a store in Singapore,lovely clothes,everything 6,8 or 10.I asked did they do any clothes in a 12,the sales assistant looked at me in disgust like I was grossly overweight!

When l was working in the rag trade as mentioned above, I spent a lot of time in Hong Kong. Tried to buy shoes in a 6. Nothing in the entire shop fitted! Bought a blouse which fitted across the chest, but the sleeves were at my elbows.

There is a whole different set of anthropological data for China and the Far East.

I'm 44 so I was there pre internet and pre 'curve' range in the 90s when most young fashionable clothes stores only went up to a 14 eg topshop, miss selfridge, snob etc, believe me things are better with availability

Maybe you need to visit other shops.
M&S and Bonmarche have upped their game in recent years and cater for sizes up to size 24/26.