DH boring me constantly

[DHbore]

I’m really trying to be patient but DH has turned into a bore. We had solar panels fitted recently so now where possible we wait until the sun comes out to do the washing, put the dishwasher on etc. I understand this, it’s not complicated. However every day I get a running commentary on how much electricity we’ve generated, how much we’ve used, how much is in our battery and how much has gone to the grid. I’ve said that’s very interesting but I don’t need that level of detail.

we also recently bought a new car which is hybrid, when he’s a passenger and I’m driving he is looking at the dashboard to see whether the power is being drawn from the battery or from fuel. He then comments on how I only need to lightly touch the accelerator to maximise our battery usage and let the fuel last longer. I say that’s interesting- if I don’t respond he repeats himself and asked if I’ve heard him. He doesn’t seem to pick up on hints.

We are currently replacing the bathroom and he is organising the plumber and tiler (he loves project management this is part of his skill set), I am grateful and appreciative. He tells me every conversation or text between him and the workmen. I have suggested he just gives me the highlights such as costs and timescales. I’ve also said I’m happy to pick out tiles / bathroom furniture with him. Yet he continues to tell me that ‘Brian is having a lunch break now so he’ll call me later to discuss blah blah blah or he’ll need to keep reminding me what sort of shower head we are having fitted despite it never changing from the first time he told me.

He runs his own online business and tells me exactly what he’s sold that day down to how many chopping boards, how many bread bins, pepper pots and trivets.

I’m not uninterested in any of the above but am struggling to cope with the level of detail. Am I being unreasonable? If I ask him to stop talking at me he just carries on.

I should add he has always been a bit like this but not to this extent. Otherwise he is a very good husband

Does he have anyone else to talk to? Maybe he needs to get out more and socialise?

thats a good point, he works alone and doesn’t see people much

I think this is your answer

Lol your two choices are to tell him he's boring you or learn to zone out.

I zone out - learnt how to do it when the kids were 3 years old going "look mummy look mummy look mummy I can do a roly poly" six million times an hour.

The dude needs a hobby

My first thought was to ask if you're his only outlet. If you're his only regular human contact then he may have become unused to normal levels of blathering and you're getting a stream of consciousness. Encourage him to get out more.

Yes you’re probably right! He doesn’t socialise through choice though, he says he’s more than happy just to be around his immediate family and the dogs (we have two naughty labs)

He jokingly says I’m his hobby

What conversations do you start with him?

My husband is a bit like this. I told him and occasionally when he’s doing I give him a jokey reminder.

I try not to be a cow and I obviously listen to things he enjoys and wants to talk about. I am also happy to say “ok we’ve spoken about this 3 times now. I don’t want to hear about the water softener anymore”.

Ha ha so water softener is important in your house 🤣

I have told him I don’t need to keep hearing about solar panels or trivets but he thinks I’m being endearing and fighting the genuine interest I must have in these topics 😂

Solar panels sound thrilling 🙄 haha
I can empathise, my Mrs is a very detail oriented person and I've learnt to just nod along, it's important to her but not me, so I just let her drone on.

The same situation as you, when she gets a new project or object it becomes a bit of an obsession! The new car 🤦🏻‍♀️ everything was about the car, how to wash it, how to change the ad blue, how ad blue works, the insurance, the seats, constantly reading about the car and things she can buy, I don't know how I survived the first few months being honest!

I just turned the situation around one day - asked her if she was interested in how our washing machine worked, every tiny detail of the conversation I had with my mam that morning, when I had decided to hoover and mop and what cleaning products I used. She said "no, I don't care about any of that".. That's the point! I don't care about the car!

Maybe try that with him see if he sees your point? Other than getting them to chill about their new obsessions, unfortunately the never ending detail is just that, never ending.

That’s a good point I tend to come in from work and disappear into my office which is at the opposite end of the house to his office. Maybe that’s where I’m going wrong. I shut the door and wonder how long it’ll take him to come and tell me about spatulas or something- generally less than 60 seconds unless he’s on the phone

oh another thing if he’s on the phone to his supplier he puts it on speaker so I can hear how many chopping boards he’s ordered in bamboo - just to save him relaying this vital bit of information I’ll clearly be chomping at the bit to know 🙈

I feel your pain 😁

It sounds like you need something interesting in your lives! Next time he starts boring you just suggest you go bowling or mini golf or something random to distract him.

I love kitchenware so I’d be happy hearing about spatulas and chopping boards. My DH still seems to think that I’m interested in Nottingham Forest and the premiership despite 25+ years of telling him I’m not bothered. But we do talk about lots of other things too.

@ILoveASpreadsheet
My dh is a Forest supporter and I get this too.
Apparently they drew against Man City yesterday, which I'm sure you knew!😅

My husband sometimes talks to me about things I have no idea about. Instead of getting bored I just look at him and fall in love with how excited he is about something mundane 😂 I think it's an adorable quirk

@Pricklyheath

God I know more about Liverpool FC than I could ever have imagined.

My position on football is this: I don't mind watching the odd match and I'll pretend to be happy for him if Liverpool wins but I'm fucked if I want to know who's beating whom in other non-relevant matches. I said to him when we first met I am happy to be told if Liverpool has won/lost but if he talks to me about Man City being two up at half time against Chelsea I will go on a sex strike.

I have absolutely no need for that level of football detail.

He doesn’t seem to pick up on hints.
Stop hinting & tell him.

If I ask him to stop talking at me he just carries on.
How forcibly are you telling him?

I would start of with "the level of detail you are giving me feels like it would actually be quicker for me to talk directly to the plumber myself. What is up with you - why do you need to to keep telling me so much?"

For the interminable lectures about solar electricity, buy his a Special Notebook. Label it "DH's fact file" & next time he starts droning on at you, tell him you are reaching explosion point with his mansplaining & tell him to write it in his nbotebook instead of boring you to sobs.

Have a think about WHY he is doing it.
Is is mansplaining?
is he looking for applause?
Does he think you are actually interested?

It's concerning that he just carries on talking at you when you ask him not to.
Does he not see your "no more" as viable? Or is he just a common-or-garden bore?

Can you just say, that’s nice dear, and switch off?

Yikes. I feel suffocated just reading that.

Tell him! IT'S NOT OK TO USE ME AS A DUMPING GROUND FOR YOUR STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS. Also that he needs more in his life than you & the dogs. Tell him you are getting worried about him & he needs a hobby.

He's not joking.