Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH boring me constantly

178 replies

DHbore · 19/02/2023 16:54

I’m really trying to be patient but DH has turned into a bore. We had solar panels fitted recently so now where possible we wait until the sun comes out to do the washing, put the dishwasher on etc. I understand this, it’s not complicated. However every day I get a running commentary on how much electricity we’ve generated, how much we’ve used, how much is in our battery and how much has gone to the grid. I’ve said that’s very interesting but I don’t need that level of detail.

we also recently bought a new car which is hybrid, when he’s a passenger and I’m driving he is looking at the dashboard to see whether the power is being drawn from the battery or from fuel. He then comments on how I only need to lightly touch the accelerator to maximise our battery usage and let the fuel last longer. I say that’s interesting- if I don’t respond he repeats himself and asked if I’ve heard him. He doesn’t seem to pick up on hints.

We are currently replacing the bathroom and he is organising the plumber and tiler (he loves project management this is part of his skill set), I am grateful and appreciative. He tells me every conversation or text between him and the workmen. I have suggested he just gives me the highlights such as costs and timescales. I’ve also said I’m happy to pick out tiles / bathroom furniture with him. Yet he continues to tell me that ‘Brian is having a lunch break now so he’ll call me later to discuss blah blah blah or he’ll need to keep reminding me what sort of shower head we are having fitted despite it never changing from the first time he told me.

He runs his own online business and tells me exactly what he’s sold that day down to how many chopping boards, how many bread bins, pepper pots and trivets.

I’m not uninterested in any of the above but am struggling to cope with the level of detail. Am I being unreasonable? If I ask him to stop talking at me he just carries on.

OP posts:
KettrickenSmiled · 19/02/2023 17:40

DHbore · 19/02/2023 17:05

Ha ha so water softener is important in your house 🤣

I have told him I don’t need to keep hearing about solar panels or trivets but he thinks I’m being endearing and fighting the genuine interest I must have in these topics 😂

"Derek, when you ignore my perfectly reasonable request to stop talking AT me, I feel totally disrespected. I'm walking away now before I explode. I am NOT interested in hearing a single word more about the solar feed, which I understand perfectly well without you patronising me about it. Is that clear, or do I need to take myself out of the house for the whole evening?"

DaisyDays123 · 19/02/2023 17:41

Sounds like anxiety to me. Is he stressed about £?

MortimerTheCat · 19/02/2023 17:42

I feel your pain, my husband is very techy and works with computers (can’t tell you more than that and I am not interested). He goes on and on about how he is going to solve certain problems…….booooooring and I don’t care. I can’t even pretend and it goes straight over my head

KettrickenSmiled · 19/02/2023 17:42

I shut the door and wonder how long it’ll take him to come and tell me about spatulas or something

😂😂😂
I am sorry OP, it's not fucking funny when you're perpetually on the wrong end of it.
But you seem to have honed a fab sense of humour as a coping mechanism.

PorpoiseWithPurpose · 19/02/2023 17:45

This reminds me of the characters out of The Banshees of Inisherin.

Tell him you don’t like him anymore. That should solve it.

newtowelsplease · 19/02/2023 17:51

Mine is a bit like this.

I call him his dads name when he bores me, it's pretty effective. His dad can be incredibly boring

ILoveASpreadsheet · 19/02/2023 17:53

newtowelsplease · 19/02/2023 17:51

Mine is a bit like this.

I call him his dads name when he bores me, it's pretty effective. His dad can be incredibly boring

I do this too when it takes him ages to get to the point!

Lentilweaver · 19/02/2023 17:53

I just put in my headphones, pointedly.

Bornin1989 · 19/02/2023 17:56

I get a rundown of everything bought at the supermarket, all steps, ingredients, quantities used in cooking and a list of all tasks completed in a day. Used to be bearable before DD when we were more 50:50 in chores but now I'm doing most childcare and he's doing most domestic chores it's very tedious. I should probably tell him how many nappies I've changed, noses wiped and renditions of "Hop Little Bunnies" I've sang 😂

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 19/02/2023 17:56

DH is like this - though his favourite topic of conversation is fishing reels, bait and rods. I mostly tune him out or tell him he's being boring - it doesn't stop him though so you have sympathy Grin

bussteward · 19/02/2023 17:58

Can you get an electric cattle prod or little zapper thing and every time he talks to you about solar generation or fuel efficiency, poke him with it?

KettrickenSmiled · 19/02/2023 18:00

bussteward · 19/02/2023 17:58

Can you get an electric cattle prod or little zapper thing and every time he talks to you about solar generation or fuel efficiency, poke him with it?

Yes! Even better if you can charge it up on specifically solar-generated wattage.

newnamenewmane · 19/02/2023 18:01

My husband it the same. It's really tedious. When I zone out I then get 'what's wrong?', 'you ok?'.....

DHbore · 19/02/2023 18:01

KettrickenSmiled · 19/02/2023 17:42

I shut the door and wonder how long it’ll take him to come and tell me about spatulas or something

😂😂😂
I am sorry OP, it's not fucking funny when you're perpetually on the wrong end of it.
But you seem to have honed a fab sense of humour as a coping mechanism.

It’s ok really this thread is supposed to quite light hearted! I’m a violinist so try and get my own back by starting a conversation on how important a relaxed wrist is with spiccato bowing or how I need work on my intonation in higher positions as the gaps between my fingers for tones and semi tones diminishes the higher up the fingerboard I play but it backfires on me as he starts asking questions as he says he genuinely has a ‘thirst for information!’ 🙈😁

OP posts:
RoryMcGory · 19/02/2023 18:02

Colm is just like my Mum!

DHbore · 19/02/2023 18:04

PorpoiseWithPurpose · 19/02/2023 17:45

This reminds me of the characters out of The Banshees of Inisherin.

Tell him you don’t like him anymore. That should solve it.

I often tell him I don’t find it particularly attractive but he just ‘oh you do‘ and lunges in to try and kiss me, he then says he can’t help it if he’s ‘special’ and I need to make allowances 😬

OP posts:
ReneBumsWombats · 19/02/2023 18:05

DHbore · 19/02/2023 18:04

I often tell him I don’t find it particularly attractive but he just ‘oh you do‘ and lunges in to try and kiss me, he then says he can’t help it if he’s ‘special’ and I need to make allowances 😬

Wait, what?

What?

DHbore · 19/02/2023 18:06

I also just get up and leave the room mid sentence but he just follows me, and says I haven’t finished telling you about the different sizes of wooden spoons - they are 10 inch and 12 inch - should I sell them as a pack or one size only - come back ……

OP posts:
DHbore · 19/02/2023 18:07

newnamenewmane · 19/02/2023 18:01

My husband it the same. It's really tedious. When I zone out I then get 'what's wrong?', 'you ok?'.....

Do you give him the raised eyebrow and death stare?

OP posts:
DHbore · 19/02/2023 18:07

ReneBumsWombats · 19/02/2023 18:05

Wait, what?

What?

He thinks he’s special- which he is but not in a good way

OP posts:
ChickenDhansak82 · 19/02/2023 18:08

He clearly needs a hobby!

In the mean time, just get revenge. Start telling him about your pre-period symptoms, your period, what flow rate you have on each day, blood mixed with cervical mucus, absorbency of different types of sanitary product etc...

If he asks why you're going into such detail over something he has no interest in, then just say that as he does the same every day to you, you thought he liked that sort of thing.

My DH used to bore me with work and office talk. He still does sometimes. He also needs to get out more!

Mojoyoyo · 19/02/2023 18:08

There is no polite way of going about this really otherwise you’re prioritising his feelings over yours. Fine if he does it now and again but if it’s constant then surely I would affect your mental health ?

Just tell him he’s a downright bore.

Worryingly, he knows he’s boring you but doesn’t care.

ItsAllSoComplicated · 19/02/2023 18:08

He doesn’t seem to pick up on hints.
Stop hinting & tell him.

I’ve reached this level after 25 years. I have even occasionally blurted out ‘you’re boring me now’. DH is alone a lot, I spend my working day dealing with people face 2 face, so I want a bit of quiet when I get home!

another1bitestheduck · 19/02/2023 18:08

I feel bad for him - if you've specifically told him when he started talking about these things to you "that's interesting" then you are giving him mixed messages. HE obviously thinks they are interesting, you've agreed with him you find it interesting so he thinks you are chatting about something of interest to you both!

Just TELL HIM when he next starts going on "actually I don't find it very interesting/find it a bit boring/you don't need to tell me x, y,z/I don't care/I found it vaguely interesting the first time but don't need to hear it again." It doesn't have to be mean, you're not calling him boring, just saying there are certain topics you aren't as into discussing at length with him. I'm sure he doesn't feign interest in everything you like doing! But it's unfair to moan about him when you haven't been honest and expect him guess you really mean x when you say y!

DHbore · 19/02/2023 18:12

ChickenDhansak82 · 19/02/2023 18:08

He clearly needs a hobby!

In the mean time, just get revenge. Start telling him about your pre-period symptoms, your period, what flow rate you have on each day, blood mixed with cervical mucus, absorbency of different types of sanitary product etc...

If he asks why you're going into such detail over something he has no interest in, then just say that as he does the same every day to you, you thought he liked that sort of thing.

My DH used to bore me with work and office talk. He still does sometimes. He also needs to get out more!

Omg that reminds me I started telling him I’m probably menopausal, his ears pricked up and he went into a whole rant on how there should be so much more awareness and support for women and how this needs to be more recognised, then quickly went on Google to see how he could understand and support me. I really wasn’t expecting that!

OP posts: