About not moving on the train?

[TrainSitu]

I’ve recently had shoulder surgery but I am now out of a sling so I guess I don’t look injured. I’m sat at a table seat on the train to get back to my work area after visiting my dad.

I’ve got my backpack on the table and my big bag was put up on the top by a lovely man who offered to put it up. We get to the next station and it’s absolutely heaving and a mother with 3 kids gets on. Everyone files into seats and someone sits opposite me. She then approaches and asks if the other 2 seats are reserved. I said no and she could have them and sat the kids down. She then looks and me and say says “I’ve got 3 children who need a seat please can they have yours” I said no I’ve recently had shoulder surgery and still recovering so standing on a packed train would be too painful. She then continually said “ I have 3 kids though”

At this point I said “I’m not particularly bothered by the amount of kids you have but I will be staying in this seat as I need it too if you have any issues please go speak to the train conductor” The look she gave me could kill!

So AIBU for not moving? The original guy who put my bag in the overhead rack ended up telling her to leave me alone as she kept repeating about her 3 kids. I feel like a cow bag but a justified one!

NC for this so it can’t be linked to any previous threads.

Why on earth was this worth a name change?

Yes even tiny children seem to take a whole seat now . I used to stand at mums knee if there were no seats for adults.
Not sure why this is, being used to car seats I guess?

What an unusual order of priority. I find your attitude towards the pregnant and elderly quite odiously dismissive actually.

Oh my good god I’ve heard it all now. The elderly can rearrange their appointments on the off chance a child will need to sit! LOL

i take public transport a lot and have not once seen a child trodden on. However busy the carriage, bus, tube is, fellow passengers take care to edge past huge prams and children - making space for kids to hold on to rails, poles etc. When it was busy I’d make space for my daughter and block it for her. It’s not hard. Why would I ask someone to get up for a hale and hearty child? I’ve got on trains where each tiny child has a seat and not one adult has thought to say ‘hey kids, budge up’.

The only people I’d give up my seat to are old or disabled people or a pregnant woman. Children are perfectly capable of standing.

It wasn’t the children being entitled, it was the mother

Many years ago I was on a very busy train and the guard was telling some woman nearby that, as children pay about half the ticket prices that adults do, then seats (where available) should be for the adults and the children should stand.
I'd be inclined to say that the same should still apply unless a child is injured or disabled.

@Harmonypus based on that pensioners should stand first.

Utter nonsense, people have paid a whole range of different amounts on a train.

It seems to be a thing now that children get seats on trains and adults have to stand.

Gawd our dastardly society prioritising the safety of small children over strong able-bodied adults. Disgusting 🤔

It’s not about safety, generations of children have stood up so adults can sit down on public transport without any ill effects.

She probably changed her name in case the facts given - particularly the recent shoulder operation - made her potentially identifiable, which means that people who had identified her could also identify all her other threads where she may prefer anonymity.
People do it all the time.

It’s not about safety, generations of children have stood up so adults can sit down on public transport without any ill effects.

Yes it is, your argument is akin to the ‘well my generation never had car seats and we all survived’. Well apart from the ones who didn’t.

I don’t have small children and mine are capable of standing. But an able bodied adult preventing a small child from sitting (as their parent won’t have a seat either) is selfish and entitled.

When did you last hear about a child being injured because they were standing on public transport?

No, you use engine braking as much as you can. It's bad driving to use brakes all the time, and sets up a chain reaction of sharp braking behind you. Gentle braking and slowing down is better for fuel economy, better for the environment and better for traffic flow.

Not sure how this is relevant on a discussion about entitled parents on trains though!

Never!

@Blossomtoes most of the time they get a seat as people aren’t as selfish as you.

Conversely give me the stats on old people and pregnant women. You don’t have those either.

I’ve seen children bumped around/ crying with my own eyes and also they have a tendency to try and sit on the floor which is clearly unsafe for all. They get hit with bags in the head as they are at the wrong level.

Common sense tells decent people that the vulnerable should be allowed to sit and that small children are vulnerable. Thankfully there are a lot of us around.

@lieselotte 🤔

Provide the link please!

If I could easily have moved so they could all sit together, I would.
If there were no other seats, though, your need was greater and you were justified in refusing. .

I’m not remotely selfish. I fall into a group most people would offer a seat to, ie I’m old. I’ve stood to offer a pregnant woman my seat, I wouldn’t stand to offer a seat to a child who’s more capable of standing than I am.

If you are old and need a seat then there’s no need to offer it to anyone is there? 🤦🏻‍♀️

I’m sure you are selfish in your own way though, it’s human nature to be.

I’ll give up my seat for you as would my DC but little kids are every bit as vulnerable as you. It isnt a competition.

RavenhairedRachel · Yesterday 18:38

Cheeky bitch. At one time kids got up to let adults sit down.kids are too entitled nowadays

When I was at school, we used to get the occasional talk in assemblies, about giving up seats to adults. It used to be a condition of carriage that half fares should give up seats to full fares and there were notices on every bus, to that effect.

I don't uses the bus very often, but the last few times I have, I've looked in vain for such notices.

You can be old and prefer to be seated but realise there are others with a greater need than you.

i have never seen a child flung about with a sudden stop. Stop this entitled and selfish nonsense. I have seen adults hurt - flung to the floor or badly wrenched back, neck shoulder.,
If the carriage is so packed children must stand they are either held fast by a parent or have something to hold. Lower centre of gravity. Anyone seen a bunch of kids snow ploughing straight down a black slope? I have never seen passengers let a parent carrying a baby stand. Some parents, especially dads, prefer to stand with their baby.
The most dangerous are teens, students lying down. When train are busy they are such entitled arses they watch adults struggle to keep their footing and get flung about as they try to walk past. As for the poor woman who was filmed live and harassed. I am so sorry - it sounds awful.

And I always refuse offered seats because I’m independent and, despite my obvious age, just as capable of standing as I always was. And yes there is a need for me to offer a seat to someone who needs it more - like a heavily pregnant woman.

lieselotte · Today 09:07

No, you use engine braking as much as you can. It's bad driving to use brakes all the time, and sets up a chain reaction of sharp braking behind you. Gentle braking and slowing down is better for fuel economy, better for the environment and better for traffic flow.

They don't like you to use engine braking these days, as it sucks more fuel through and is bad for the environment. I got my one minor fault for engine braking.

I always do it when I drive, of course.