About not moving on the train?

[TrainSitu]

I’ve recently had shoulder surgery but I am now out of a sling so I guess I don’t look injured. I’m sat at a table seat on the train to get back to my work area after visiting my dad.

I’ve got my backpack on the table and my big bag was put up on the top by a lovely man who offered to put it up. We get to the next station and it’s absolutely heaving and a mother with 3 kids gets on. Everyone files into seats and someone sits opposite me. She then approaches and asks if the other 2 seats are reserved. I said no and she could have them and sat the kids down. She then looks and me and say says “I’ve got 3 children who need a seat please can they have yours” I said no I’ve recently had shoulder surgery and still recovering so standing on a packed train would be too painful. She then continually said “ I have 3 kids though”

At this point I said “I’m not particularly bothered by the amount of kids you have but I will be staying in this seat as I need it too if you have any issues please go speak to the train conductor” The look she gave me could kill!

So AIBU for not moving? The original guy who put my bag in the overhead rack ended up telling her to leave me alone as she kept repeating about her 3 kids. I feel like a cow bag but a justified one!

NC for this so it can’t be linked to any previous threads.

Exactly.
The entitlement of some parents never ceases to amaze me.

She should have moved on and targeted someone on a different table. You said no and explained your reason.

It might be worth continuing to wear the sling on public transport though if you are still
feeling vulnerable. Although I once got on a packed train when I was using crutches and no one gave up their seat for me, so…

Exactly!

This is now on Mailonline

Tbf I don't think the people saying a child would get hurt are talking about on comparison of to someone physically vulnerable but in regards to an able bodied, fit adult

the points made about a child being likely to suffer less injury than an adult are all valid for an able-bodied adult too.

My 7 yo is likely to be daydreaming and not holding on properly

i was using a bus independently from the age of 7. Along with my friends. We all gave up our seats willingly. As buses still had the open rear exit then, we also learned how to jump off before the bus came to a complete stop!

Have you got a link?

You could have legitimately said, if you want all three of your children to sit down, I suggest you stand.

I had my grandson for half term and took him to a cinema one afternoon. A bunch of early twenties who reeked of weed were walking down the stairs from the cinema to the shopping centre...they were plonked centrally on the stair case and I had to negotiate moving across to the other bannister. One of the girls turned round and asked if I was ok...one of the blokes piped up 'Oh dont worry about her'. I have to admit I forgot I had my grandson with me and replied 'well you are a piece of shit your mother must be proud of'.... he actually apologised...twice.

YANBU.

She could have sat next to you and her three kids could have shared two seats if they only have small bums.

Or if one of her three kids was little she could have held that one on her lap.

Or her three kids could have sat in the seats and she could have stood in the aisle.

Or she could have gone somewhere there were four seats together for her and her three kids.

The only times it's ever OK to ask someone else to let you have the seat they are sitting in is if you are elderly, disabled and pregnant and there are no free seats, or if it is a seat you have reserved.

YADNBU
Cheeky entitled woman. No wonder kids are so badly behaved now.
Since when did adults give up seats to children? I thought it was the other way around.

I have a disabled blue badge and IME these are the same people who will also think nothing of taking up a disabled space if all the parent and child ones are taken. Not to mention parking a pram in the priority space on the bus and not moving for a wheelchair.

You did not have to be rude

If someone won't take 'no' for an answer then whatever works to get rid of them will have to do.

This^

so many options. Entitled CF

You were totally in the right OP. Imagine if you had caved in and now had a set back with your shoulder?! Hope your recovery goes well.

No one is asking DC to hang from overhead straps. My DC would lean on me and I will keep them steady, just as my parents did when I was small.

As I do with my husband as I'm short and can't reach overhead straps either.

Presumably your husband only has one wife, a parent on a train might have 3 under 5 to hold onto so not quite the same.

A parent in that situation needs to take the trouble to reserve seats rather than leave it and then expect others to vacate a seat for them.

@TrashyPanda

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-11772361/I-refused-train-seat-mother-three-kids.html

She wanted you to give up your seat - as an adult woman - for kids aged 10+? That’s bonkers! Even if you didn’t have an injury. Kids of that age (unless they have a disability) are the most able to stand of anyone.

OK maybe kids under 5 need to sit down to stop them falling all about the place - and you could maybe stretch that to 6 ish at a push - but 10+ should be getting up for you if you’d come on later, if anything.

Thank you, @Rummykitten

And pay for them too.

National Rail states
children under 5 who are travelling without a ticket may only occupy a seat that is not required by a fare-paying passenger. To have a reserved seat for a child under 5 you will need to purchase a child rate ticket

even the rail operators don’t expect fare paying passengers to give up their seats for a child travelling free. If the parent wants to ensure a seat for their child, they need to pay for one and reserve it.

@TrainSitu You were mosy definitely not unreasonable what a cheeky fucker she had the hide of a rhino to keep harassing you after being told no! I would have told her to jog on.

Something similar happened to me, I have arthritis in both ankles I cannot stand on trains its too painful so I always reserve a seat and sometimes pay for it if I want one with a plug socket.

Well one journey I get on the train someone is sitting in my seat with his phone plugged into the socket I've paid for. I politely say to him its my seat I've reserved it. He replies back "that seat's free you can sit there" and points to the seat opposite that has no plug socket, at this point my cheeky fucker alarm bells start ringing so I firmly replied "excuse me I paid to reserve that seat and I will be sitting in it now either move or I'll get a member of staff to make you!" He tuts gets up moves his stuff and sits opposite but leaves his phone plugged in. At this point I'm now pissed off so I sat down got my laptop out and unplugged his phone and plugged my laptop in he then rudely says to me "I'm charging my phone!" I snapped and loudly said "well you should've fucking paid to reserve a seat and plug socket like I did then if you don't like it fuck off and sit somewhere else!!" He was silent for the rest of the journey but kept throwing me dirty looks.

Op cheeky fuckers like the woman on the train need telling they get away with it because they bank on people being far to polite to call them out for it.

Depending on the age of the child, only if you think a parent considers your safety to trump their child's.

My 7 yo if you look or state that you need it? Yes.
My 7 yo if you're fit and healthy? No. You've got more strength, height and focus to hold on safely.
No two 3 yos? Not unless it was desperate

Last year on a train from London back up to the north west, previous trains had been cancelled so it was severely overcrowded and our pre booked seats were no longer in use.
My 12 year old daughter is in end stage renal failure, she has dialysis each night for 10 hours, although she looks “normal” from the outside, she would not have have been able to stand for the whole journey home.
luckily a wonderful couple offered us seats but I never would have asked! I planned on alerting the staff on the train once we had got going and would never have asked people to give up seats!
having a child who has a “hidden” Illness proves how you just never know what someone is going through.