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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To walk away from my MIL when she does this

227 replies

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 16:55

So my MIL is a bit of an odd one and doesn’t take no for an answer, as in she just goes on and on and on and on and only tends to get the point when someone looses their rag with her (DH).

2 things this week that she just gone on and on and on about, the most trivial is the one I’ll share here because I just don’t get why she does it

made cheesy veg muffins for my kids (toddler and pre schooler so young). They came out well if I say so myself and were a low effort high yield meal that will do a few lunches and snacks. Great. MIL was over at lunch offered her some, she asked what they were, told her (simple concept right). Then eating them, it was like she was eating rotten fruit, the face on her, she even spat it in the bin and then asked what was in it, explained, then she spent literally the next 5-10 mins disagreeing with me that their primary ingredient was potato, it wasn’t I made them, but it was her hill to die on, she wouldn’t let it go and was insistent they had potatoes in. She doesn’t have a potato allergy or anything she was just insistent they were potato based. In the end I had to say sure whatever walk away. Cue a few hrs later, she brings up the fact I lied that the muffins had potatoes in and proceeded to lecture me how I must have prepped the pots incorrectly and how I must do it instead. I ended up just saying they didn’t have potatoes in and walk away (probably huffily).

what the f is up with that firstly?

Walking away is the best thing to do right, she won’t back down otherwise

OP posts:
thaisweetchill · 18/02/2023 16:58

Well done on not blowing up at her as I definitely would. Maybe a sarcastic 'well you're always right so yes ok' might wind her up a bit?

Neptunesgiraffe · 18/02/2023 17:11

How annoying. I'd say, "if you say so" to wind her up a bit. I don't think it's worth your energy to keep arguing if she won't back down.

DrManhattan · 18/02/2023 17:15

Crank

Keyansier · 18/02/2023 17:16

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Sparkletastic · 18/02/2023 17:17

Does she live with you OP?

35965a · 18/02/2023 17:17

She sounds like a PITA, I don’t know how you were so patient with her

TomatoSandwiches · 18/02/2023 17:20

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Not liking someone's food is one thing but to pester them about what ingredients they used and refusing to believe them to the point they find it easier to just agree to shut you up is a whole other problem.
MIL is ridiculous.

dontputitthere · 18/02/2023 17:20

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Do you also argue insisting you know the ingredients of something when you patently don't?

It's fine she didn't like them

To insist the op is wrong when she made the bloody things is just... weird

2bazookas · 18/02/2023 17:21

This is probably the very early first signs of some kind of dementia in MIL.

Keyansier · 18/02/2023 17:21

TomatoSandwiches · 18/02/2023 17:20

Not liking someone's food is one thing but to pester them about what ingredients they used and refusing to believe them to the point they find it easier to just agree to shut you up is a whole other problem.
MIL is ridiculous.

It just sounds to me like the OP was being purposely antagonistic towards her MIL, may be just my perception though.

plumduck · 18/02/2023 17:22

Not liking it - fine
Telling you they must have potatoes in when you're the one who cooked them - so weird

Keyansier · 18/02/2023 17:22

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LimeCheesecake · 18/02/2023 17:22

Well she has no manners - spitting the food out? My dcs know to say “that’s not to my taste” and then leave it.

some people are rude and have no grace, your MIL is one of them. Don’t feed her again.

Yesthatismychildsigh · 18/02/2023 17:23

If the dirty cow spat food into my kitchen bin she’d have been out on her arse. What a dirty, foul woman

TheYearOfSmallThings · 18/02/2023 17:24

Once you've answered one time, just let her talk into silence. Very few people can do that for long, and if she asks why you aren't replying say "I already did."

dontputitthere · 18/02/2023 17:25

@Keyansier well what do you think happened?

To be honest if you think the op is lying not sure why you're even posting...

NotSorry · 18/02/2023 17:26

I find a “you know best” works well in these situations

Grizzledstrawberry · 18/02/2023 17:26

How rude to spit it in the bin like that, unless it was off I would never make such a scene, that's just dramatic, she sounds bonkers.

Can you limit how much time you spend with her?

TheSnowyOwl · 18/02/2023 17:26

Has she always been like this? I would also be considering this as a sign of dementia.

watchingpullimgepisode6 · 18/02/2023 17:26

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Eh? You're totally missing the point and also if you make faces eating someone else's food you are very rude.

LimeCheesecake · 18/02/2023 17:27

But if the issue is she can’t back down without being shouted at and is incapable of understanding she might be in the wrong until someone is angry, you might just have to join in with the shouting. Or try “Why are you picking a fight? You are wrong but I refuse to discuss it with you.”

MissingMoominMamma · 18/02/2023 17:27

My kids were taught to say, it’s not my favourite , but thank you.

Sounds like your MIL didn’t get that memo.

bellac11 · 18/02/2023 17:27

If this happened exactly as you have written then quite honestly she sounds quite unwell.

Its difficult. Does she have any social communication disorders or MH issues?

Keyansier · 18/02/2023 17:28

watchingpullimgepisode6 · 18/02/2023 17:26

Eh? You're totally missing the point and also if you make faces eating someone else's food you are very rude.

Well I'm sorry it upsets you, but it's not intentional. I can't help but make a disgusted or disliked face if I taste food my taste buds don't like.

AlisonDonut · 18/02/2023 17:29

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If you say so.