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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To walk away from my MIL when she does this

227 replies

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 16:55

So my MIL is a bit of an odd one and doesn’t take no for an answer, as in she just goes on and on and on and on and only tends to get the point when someone looses their rag with her (DH).

2 things this week that she just gone on and on and on about, the most trivial is the one I’ll share here because I just don’t get why she does it

made cheesy veg muffins for my kids (toddler and pre schooler so young). They came out well if I say so myself and were a low effort high yield meal that will do a few lunches and snacks. Great. MIL was over at lunch offered her some, she asked what they were, told her (simple concept right). Then eating them, it was like she was eating rotten fruit, the face on her, she even spat it in the bin and then asked what was in it, explained, then she spent literally the next 5-10 mins disagreeing with me that their primary ingredient was potato, it wasn’t I made them, but it was her hill to die on, she wouldn’t let it go and was insistent they had potatoes in. She doesn’t have a potato allergy or anything she was just insistent they were potato based. In the end I had to say sure whatever walk away. Cue a few hrs later, she brings up the fact I lied that the muffins had potatoes in and proceeded to lecture me how I must have prepped the pots incorrectly and how I must do it instead. I ended up just saying they didn’t have potatoes in and walk away (probably huffily).

what the f is up with that firstly?

Walking away is the best thing to do right, she won’t back down otherwise

OP posts:
ReadersD1gest · 18/02/2023 18:25

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 18/02/2023 18:23

No, I’d maybe ask if it did if it tasted potatoe-y.

And presumably accept a No? If you would (like an reasonable person), I don't know why you're continuing to argue with op.

You've clearly failed to grasp the point.

Shemovesshemoves21 · 18/02/2023 18:25

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diddl · 18/02/2023 18:25

A few hours later?

Why was she still there?

Why didn't you ask her to leave when she was being rude accusing you of lying?

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 18/02/2023 18:26

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 18/02/2023 18:23

No, I’d maybe ask if it did if it tasted potatoe-y.

But once you were told “No, it doesn’t contain potato”, you’d presumably shut up about it, rather than launching into a conspiracy theory about rogue spud hidden in your muffin?

HeckyPeck · 18/02/2023 18:26

Chikapu · 18/02/2023 18:04

You really are the gift that keeps on giving 😂

I often find myself reading replies to threads, thinking wtf has this poster read to have such a bizarre take!? Then seeing it's good old Keys and it all making sense. 😅

itsgettingweird · 18/02/2023 18:27

I would buy several bags of new potatoes and post an individual potato to her daily until she admitted she was wrong.

Oh please do this. And do it anonymously and if she ever mentions to you suggest someone else knows about her obsession with potato's Grin

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 18/02/2023 18:27

UKNZKiwiBrit · 18/02/2023 17:43

Why not, you made a thread slagging off people who ordered takeaway you don't like.

I just tried to find the takeaway thread and I think it’s been deleted 🙁 It was absolute gold!

bussteward · 18/02/2023 18:29

HeckyPeck · 18/02/2023 18:26

I often find myself reading replies to threads, thinking wtf has this poster read to have such a bizarre take!? Then seeing it's good old Keys and it all making sense. 😅

Haha, yes! I’m always cheered when I find a thread he’s on – it makes me want to grab a stack of potato-based cheesy veg muffins and settle in for a good old-fashioned troll-scroll.

Cantstandbullshitanymore · 18/02/2023 18:31

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Sounds like MIL is here. It’s fine if you don’t like it but stop arguing aimlessly and wasting peoples time.

If you took time to read her post and not act like a defensive MIL you will get that the issue isn't liking or not liking the dish.

Surely2023IsTheYearForMyRainbowBaby · 18/02/2023 18:31

Keyansier
It sounds like you don't like her very much and are quick to judge. Maybe she genuinely didn't like your food? I can't help but have a disgusted face when eating food that other people make if I don't like it. I don't mean to, but it's apparently obvious. I hope nobody would make a thread slagging me off behind my back about it is all I'm saying.

Eh? You're totally missing the point and also if you make faces eating someone else's food you are very rude.

Come on, this is the guy who goes to someone's house for tea and because he smell any good cooking proceeds to walk into their kitchen demanding to know what time tea will be served. Then sits with a face like a slapped arse all night long because he doesn't like the Chinese takeout the hosts had decided to order instead. I honestly wouldn't expect anything less!

diddl · 18/02/2023 18:31

“Oh, no, they’re not McCoys - they’re from M&S”.

I think that KP used to make McCoys & crisps for M&S so they could have been the same.

But obviously you hadn't bought them as McCoys.

Cantstandbullshitanymore · 18/02/2023 18:32

Keyansier · 18/02/2023 17:21

It just sounds to me like the OP was being purposely antagonistic towards her MIL, may be just my perception though.

More like this has been going on over and over and over again. This was just an example so it’s reasonable that she is already getting frustrated. Tbh she has more restraint that I do as I would have reacted more strongly by now.

ReadersD1gest · 18/02/2023 18:33

Surely2023IsTheYearForMyRainbowBaby · 18/02/2023 18:31

Keyansier
It sounds like you don't like her very much and are quick to judge. Maybe she genuinely didn't like your food? I can't help but have a disgusted face when eating food that other people make if I don't like it. I don't mean to, but it's apparently obvious. I hope nobody would make a thread slagging me off behind my back about it is all I'm saying.

Eh? You're totally missing the point and also if you make faces eating someone else's food you are very rude.

Come on, this is the guy who goes to someone's house for tea and because he smell any good cooking proceeds to walk into their kitchen demanding to know what time tea will be served. Then sits with a face like a slapped arse all night long because he doesn't like the Chinese takeout the hosts had decided to order instead. I honestly wouldn't expect anything less!

Oh, that poster.

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 18/02/2023 18:34

@Fluttershyy You were very polite.
Make her some potato scones and tell her they're cherry ones. Wink
Thank goodness the kids were far away from Granny Batshit, ot you'd have to try to reason with all 3!

FictionalCharacter · 18/02/2023 18:36

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Would you walk over to the bin, spit the food into it and then insist that it contained ingredients that the person who made it didn’t contain? Because that’s what this woman did, she didn’t just make a disgusted face.

HeckyPeck · 18/02/2023 18:37

bussteward · 18/02/2023 18:29

Haha, yes! I’m always cheered when I find a thread he’s on – it makes me want to grab a stack of potato-based cheesy veg muffins and settle in for a good old-fashioned troll-scroll.

🤣 same!

Almost as entertaining as the sea monster troll. I miss them 🐙

EnjoythemoneyJane · 18/02/2023 18:38

Oh, here we go 🙄
Do you literally lurk on MN all day scoping out opportunities to be contrary and goady, regardless of what the OP is about?

So when someone offers you home made food that's not to your taste, you automatically show your 'disgust'?
And you can't understand why someone would be fucked off that another person is telling them they're mistaken about the ingredients they've literally just used to make their own food?!

OK, if you say so. Cool way to make the thread all about you, though. Again.

FictionalCharacter · 18/02/2023 18:38

Cantstandbullshitanymore · 18/02/2023 18:31

Sounds like MIL is here. It’s fine if you don’t like it but stop arguing aimlessly and wasting peoples time.

If you took time to read her post and not act like a defensive MIL you will get that the issue isn't liking or not liking the dish.

K is a bloke and frequently posts goady replies.

EnjoythemoneyJane · 18/02/2023 18:38

Sorry, meant for @Keyansier

Lamelie · 18/02/2023 18:38

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Would you follow the cook round wanging on about it though?

Surely2023IsTheYearForMyRainbowBaby · 18/02/2023 18:39

@ReadersD1gest yep!!

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 18:40

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My cooking is fine, somethings are nicer than others and this was ok. A person not loving something is fine, it’s life, although I wouldn’t be rude, as someone has tried, I’d probably say I was full or not that hungry at that moment, unless it was dh and then we’d probably bin off or tweak the recipe.

the weirdness was the insistence of potatoes, and when I said no, not backing down and then bringing it up again and sort of chastising me for lying about the sodding potatoes.

she does it for other things too, like she’s insisting one of my children goes to live with her, as ‘it’s only fair’ and when I say no, she just keeps on saying yes coming to live with me, and that’s when dh and I end up losing our shit

OP posts:
EnjoythemoneyJane · 18/02/2023 18:41

K is a bloke and frequently posts goady replies.

Indeed. Here's a thought, why not put your head 'back under the carpet', mate, as per a previous gem of yours?

Btw, @Fluttershyy YANBU at all. Your MIL sounds like a nightmare.

AllergictoWerewolves · 18/02/2023 18:42

Fluttershyy, cheesy veg muffins sound amazing! Are you happy to share the recipe? 😋

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 18/02/2023 18:42

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 18:40

My cooking is fine, somethings are nicer than others and this was ok. A person not loving something is fine, it’s life, although I wouldn’t be rude, as someone has tried, I’d probably say I was full or not that hungry at that moment, unless it was dh and then we’d probably bin off or tweak the recipe.

the weirdness was the insistence of potatoes, and when I said no, not backing down and then bringing it up again and sort of chastising me for lying about the sodding potatoes.

she does it for other things too, like she’s insisting one of my children goes to live with her, as ‘it’s only fair’ and when I say no, she just keeps on saying yes coming to live with me, and that’s when dh and I end up losing our shit

Sorry - she’s telling you to let YOIR child live with her?? Eh? How old is your child?