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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To walk away from my MIL when she does this

227 replies

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 16:55

So my MIL is a bit of an odd one and doesn’t take no for an answer, as in she just goes on and on and on and on and only tends to get the point when someone looses their rag with her (DH).

2 things this week that she just gone on and on and on about, the most trivial is the one I’ll share here because I just don’t get why she does it

made cheesy veg muffins for my kids (toddler and pre schooler so young). They came out well if I say so myself and were a low effort high yield meal that will do a few lunches and snacks. Great. MIL was over at lunch offered her some, she asked what they were, told her (simple concept right). Then eating them, it was like she was eating rotten fruit, the face on her, she even spat it in the bin and then asked what was in it, explained, then she spent literally the next 5-10 mins disagreeing with me that their primary ingredient was potato, it wasn’t I made them, but it was her hill to die on, she wouldn’t let it go and was insistent they had potatoes in. She doesn’t have a potato allergy or anything she was just insistent they were potato based. In the end I had to say sure whatever walk away. Cue a few hrs later, she brings up the fact I lied that the muffins had potatoes in and proceeded to lecture me how I must have prepped the pots incorrectly and how I must do it instead. I ended up just saying they didn’t have potatoes in and walk away (probably huffily).

what the f is up with that firstly?

Walking away is the best thing to do right, she won’t back down otherwise

OP posts:
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 18/02/2023 20:44

Your cheesy muffin sounds delicious

Steady on

Ridemeginger · 18/02/2023 20:54

Sorry, she thinks it's only fair that one of your children goes to live with her? She's bonkers! Why one earth does she think this?

BlueSeaWave · 18/02/2023 20:55

@Fluttershyy sorry she kept going saying it was only fair for one of your kids to live with her? WTAF?

MissMarplesbag · 18/02/2023 20:55

How rude and bad mannered of your mil to behave like, I'd tell my dp that if his relatives behaved like this. Really gross spitting food out in front of someone and saying its disgusting.

BlueSeaWave · 18/02/2023 20:56

Oh what @Ridemeginger said!

WoofWoofBeachLife · 18/02/2023 20:58

You did the right thing walking away for your sanity OP.
Anyone else thinking that Keys and Obstinate are partners lol other than that I cannot see how Keys has managed to land one, unless it's Papa and Mama de Sammy Colombian man engaged to a RAG DOLL announces she's 'pregnant' mol.im/a/11757763 via dailym.ai/android

Butchyrestingface · 18/02/2023 21:04

It's a pity that MN allows so many threads to get repeatedly derailed by the biggest fanny here by a country mile. There's aren't that many admitted male posters on this site, but by God, the ones there are don't half let you know they're here.

Anyway OP, your response is fine, she's trying to browbeat you into admitting something that isn't true to prove some kind of imaginary point. If you keep walking away, she has no audience and may eventually stop her behaviour or go away.

wetpebbles · 18/02/2023 21:06

Def strange behaviour, perhaps make some in front off her if she comes over again making a big deal over each ingredient, and how delicious and cheap they are to make

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 21:21

BlueSeaWave · 18/02/2023 20:55

@Fluttershyy sorry she kept going saying it was only fair for one of your kids to live with her? WTAF?

Well because her son moved in with me and now she lives alone (she’s a divorcee). She wants my eldest, she’s specifically said, and then made comments like well how are you going to feel when your sons get married and move out. My response was ‘I’ll be happy because they’re happy’ what I was actually thinking was ‘fine because i didn’t have children for them to be retirement scheme to keep me company’

OP posts:
bussteward · 18/02/2023 21:25

the more you post the more I’m entertained by her madness, OP. I’m sure it’s infuriating in real life, but demanding your firstborn and denying the existence of windows is pretty funny.

takealettermsjones · 18/02/2023 21:27

I can't quite believe she demanded your son lives with her but the thing you posted a thread about was cheesy muffins! 😆

She sounds....a lot. Walking away was very admirable, I think I'd have told her to can it!

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 21:31

takealettermsjones · 18/02/2023 21:27

I can't quite believe she demanded your son lives with her but the thing you posted a thread about was cheesy muffins! 😆

She sounds....a lot. Walking away was very admirable, I think I'd have told her to can it!

It’s the pattern of behaviour though, the utter insistence and with my kids, it ends up being brought up often enough, that both dh and I end up losing our cool

tbh it’s the trivial shit like windows and the spud muffins that winds me up more

OP posts:
AbcXyz123456 · 18/02/2023 21:33

@Fluttershyy
Please give us some more examples of her behaviour. It's very entertaining (as an outsider! Sure you don't find it amusing!)

Saschka · 18/02/2023 21:33

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 19:31

I used this one and then finely chopped some left over veg from dinner the night before, made sure there was no extra water in them (don’t judge me lol) tossed it in a little flour and folded it into the mix

www.amummytoo.co.uk/easy-cheese-muffins/

I used this one and then finely chopped some left over veg potato from dinner the night before, made sure there was no extra water in them (don’t judge me lol) tossed it in a little flour and folded it into the mix

Fixed that for you Wink

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 18/02/2023 21:35

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 20:18

Yeah I think to an extent it must be, like the time she went around saying my house didn’t have windows

Definitely a few reeds short of a thatch, then.

Hankunamatata · 18/02/2023 21:36

I syally say oh well we will ahev to agree to disagree and make a sharp exit

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 21:38

Saschka · 18/02/2023 21:33

I used this one and then finely chopped some left over veg potato from dinner the night before, made sure there was no extra water in them (don’t judge me lol) tossed it in a little flour and folded it into the mix

Fixed that for you Wink

Soz, autocorrect, should’ve said I used potato flour as well and instead of the milk the recipe calls for, potato water from the boiled potatoes that were the primary ingredient. Truly a symphony of spuds. Served with chips

OP posts:
AbcXyz123456 · 18/02/2023 21:38

Saschka · 18/02/2023 21:33

I used this one and then finely chopped some left over veg potato from dinner the night before, made sure there was no extra water in them (don’t judge me lol) tossed it in a little flour and folded it into the mix

Fixed that for you Wink

🤣🤣

AlisonDonut · 18/02/2023 21:43

You're gonna call every muffin in your house or any cafe you now visit a 'spud muffin' right?

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 21:49

AbcXyz123456 · 18/02/2023 21:33

@Fluttershyy
Please give us some more examples of her behaviour. It's very entertaining (as an outsider! Sure you don't find it amusing!)

Cats make you itch and give you a rash, they make everyone itch not just those with allergies.

she was insistent I’d call my kids other names, ie you’ll call them John, she was not happy when I called them something else. Refused to call them by their names and tried to rename them (that one ground my gears)

brown sugar is healthy and ok with diabetes because it’s brown

OP posts:
AbcXyz123456 · 18/02/2023 21:58

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 21:49

Cats make you itch and give you a rash, they make everyone itch not just those with allergies.

she was insistent I’d call my kids other names, ie you’ll call them John, she was not happy when I called them something else. Refused to call them by their names and tried to rename them (that one ground my gears)

brown sugar is healthy and ok with diabetes because it’s brown

Oh dear. You just can't reason with someone so unreasonable. Would drive me mad too. I think I'd try and avoid having to spend any time with her...especially after refusing to accept the name you chose for your child!

12345mummy · 18/02/2023 22:23

My MIL is the same OP, you have my sympathies. If we ignore her she continues on until you eventually just agree to shut her up. However, what is the most infuriating is that if we ever do come up with proof that what she’s spouting is utter BS she suddenly changes the subject.”oh what colour wall paint is this” totally unrelated topic! It’s ingrained behaviour that unfortunately for us will never change.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/02/2023 23:02

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 21:38

Soz, autocorrect, should’ve said I used potato flour as well and instead of the milk the recipe calls for, potato water from the boiled potatoes that were the primary ingredient. Truly a symphony of spuds. Served with chips

I really needed the laugh that this post gave me!

rothbury · 18/02/2023 23:16

She sounds infuriating. Can you minimise the amount of time you have to spend with her?

The potato bit reminded me of making coffee for a gardener who spat it out. He shouted at me for putting sugar in it which allegedly could have killed him cos he was diabetic. I explained repeatedly that there was no sugar in the house. He would not believe me and just got more and more irate about this non existent sugar.

I even started doubting myself 😂

InelegantAndWild · 18/02/2023 23:51

Sounds like Herod but more tuber oriented.