Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To walk away from my MIL when she does this

227 replies

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 16:55

So my MIL is a bit of an odd one and doesn’t take no for an answer, as in she just goes on and on and on and on and only tends to get the point when someone looses their rag with her (DH).

2 things this week that she just gone on and on and on about, the most trivial is the one I’ll share here because I just don’t get why she does it

made cheesy veg muffins for my kids (toddler and pre schooler so young). They came out well if I say so myself and were a low effort high yield meal that will do a few lunches and snacks. Great. MIL was over at lunch offered her some, she asked what they were, told her (simple concept right). Then eating them, it was like she was eating rotten fruit, the face on her, she even spat it in the bin and then asked what was in it, explained, then she spent literally the next 5-10 mins disagreeing with me that their primary ingredient was potato, it wasn’t I made them, but it was her hill to die on, she wouldn’t let it go and was insistent they had potatoes in. She doesn’t have a potato allergy or anything she was just insistent they were potato based. In the end I had to say sure whatever walk away. Cue a few hrs later, she brings up the fact I lied that the muffins had potatoes in and proceeded to lecture me how I must have prepped the pots incorrectly and how I must do it instead. I ended up just saying they didn’t have potatoes in and walk away (probably huffily).

what the f is up with that firstly?

Walking away is the best thing to do right, she won’t back down otherwise

OP posts:
Bigbadfish · 18/02/2023 17:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Who could like such an insufferable person?!

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 17:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

youre that rude! Christ. Feel sorry for any poor bugger who tries to do a nice thing for you.

but that wasn’t the point it was the insistence on one thing and not letting it go

OP posts:
LifeExperience · 18/02/2023 17:32

The issue here is that she accused you of lying. Next time just say, "I have not lied to you" and walk away. Walking away is a good course of action and I applaud you.

TomatoSandwiches · 18/02/2023 17:32

AlisonDonut · 18/02/2023 17:29

If you say so.

😂😂😂

Keyansier · 18/02/2023 17:32

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 17:30

youre that rude! Christ. Feel sorry for any poor bugger who tries to do a nice thing for you.

but that wasn’t the point it was the insistence on one thing and not letting it go

I don't do it purposely but if someone feeds me food and I don't like it when I taste it I will most likely make a disgusted face and be keen to spit it out at the most immediate opportunity. It's an involuntary action on my behalf.

bellac11 · 18/02/2023 17:33

Keyansier · 18/02/2023 17:28

Well I'm sorry it upsets you, but it's not intentional. I can't help but make a disgusted or disliked face if I taste food my taste buds don't like.

You can, you're not 5 years old with no self control

Tothemoonandbackx · 18/02/2023 17:33

@Keyansier starting early tonight aren't you 😂

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 17:35

Keyansier · 18/02/2023 17:32

I don't do it purposely but if someone feeds me food and I don't like it when I taste it I will most likely make a disgusted face and be keen to spit it out at the most immediate opportunity. It's an involuntary action on my behalf.

It’s childish and incredibly rude, maybe take that as an action to work on.

btw it did happen exactly how I said it, she had some pasta salad she brought from home (to my house) and then said she wanted to try some of the kids lunch. Thankfully they’d finished or else it would’ve set them off.

but thanks for your weird input

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 18/02/2023 17:36

Keyansier · 18/02/2023 17:21

It just sounds to me like the OP was being purposely antagonistic towards her MIL, may be just my perception though.

Probably just your perception

Knackeredandalsotired · 18/02/2023 17:37

Oh god, my MiL does similar. Cannot ever accept she is wrong, even if she’s shown proof (eg google answer to something). She’ll huff, sulk, then start the exact same conversation with the next person to walk in the room.
you’re much more patient than me. I get quite snappy then am cross with myself for being rude to her.
Frustrates me but also makes me angry. Like, why does she think she’s so much better than everyone else that she is literally always right even if proved wrong??!

Hoppinggreen · 18/02/2023 17:37

bellac11 · 18/02/2023 17:33

You can, you're not 5 years old with no self control

Are you sure about that @bellac11 ?
Have you seen his other posts?

ReadersD1gest · 18/02/2023 17:37

Keyansier · 18/02/2023 17:21

It just sounds to me like the OP was being purposely antagonistic towards her MIL, may be just my perception though.

Your perception, as always, differs to most other people's. In fact I'd suggest it's quite unique.

LimeCheesecake · 18/02/2023 17:38

@Keyansier - of course you can control the face you pull and eat non-poisonous food you just don’t particularly like. How did you not learn this as a young child?

Thinkwicebeforeyouleavemylife · 18/02/2023 17:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Have you even read the OP?

StuffYouAllInTheCrust · 18/02/2023 17:38

Keyansier · 18/02/2023 17:32

I don't do it purposely but if someone feeds me food and I don't like it when I taste it I will most likely make a disgusted face and be keen to spit it out at the most immediate opportunity. It's an involuntary action on my behalf.

Found your MIL OP… 🤣

Seriously though, I’m a fussy bugger when it comes to food and even I could never be so rude as to make a disgusted face when I don’t like something - never mind insisting there’s an ingredient in there that isn’t. You did well to walk away OP

EllieM27 · 18/02/2023 17:39

OP is there a cultural difference here? This sounds bizarre but I know relationships between mother-in-law/daughters-in-law can be very different.

SerafinasGoose · 18/02/2023 17:39

People seem to need to pathologize every single piece of poor behaviour on this site. If a husband is abusive, 'he must have depression'. If a MiL behaves in an argumentative way, she must have some form of cognitive impairment.

The most obvious explanation is that sometimes people behave like dicks. MN will invariably fall over itself to make excuses for this, and of course the ubiquitous 'you don't sound as though you like her much' has already made an appearance. As observations go, this one's pointless. There's no law that you have to like everyone, or they you. Not least, disliking someone who behaves in such a bizarrely antagonistic manner is pretty natural in the circumstances.

OP: she doesn't sound unwell. She sounds as awkward and antagonistic as they come. It's quite easy to avoid a repetition of that particular scenario by refusing to cook for her again.

Easy for a stranger to say I know, but these days I have an extremely low tolerance for this kind of shit. There's a clear expectation in my home - one that I also place on myself when visiting other people's homes - either behave yourself appropriately under someone else's roof or fuck off. Those are your two (completely fair and reasonable) options.

Keyansier · 18/02/2023 17:39

Fluttershyy · 18/02/2023 17:35

It’s childish and incredibly rude, maybe take that as an action to work on.

btw it did happen exactly how I said it, she had some pasta salad she brought from home (to my house) and then said she wanted to try some of the kids lunch. Thankfully they’d finished or else it would’ve set them off.

but thanks for your weird input

Well personally I think that response to me from you was very rude in my own personal opinion, and if you talk to your MIL in the same sort of manner, or even just 50% the same way, I'm honestly not surprised she finds herself landed in trouble when it comes to you. I personally would not be so quiet if you spoke to me like that.

bussteward · 18/02/2023 17:40

Walking away is the best thing to do right, she won’t back down otherwise
Walking away shows the patience of a saint given the correct and instinctive option would be to brain her with a muffin.

AlwaysTawnyOwl · 18/02/2023 17:41

How unbelievably rude. I’m amazed you didn’t tell her where to go.

Keyansier · 18/02/2023 17:42

LimeCheesecake · 18/02/2023 17:38

@Keyansier - of course you can control the face you pull and eat non-poisonous food you just don’t particularly like. How did you not learn this as a young child?

I didn't suggest the food was poisonous Hmm
And no, I can't control my face if I eat food I dislike, I don't realise I'm even doing it at the time until my DP tells me afterwards.

HappinessDragon · 18/02/2023 17:42

Keyansier · 18/02/2023 17:28

Well I'm sorry it upsets you, but it's not intentional. I can't help but make a disgusted or disliked face if I taste food my taste buds don't like.

I think you can help it.
You are rude.

bussteward · 18/02/2023 17:43

Keyansier · 18/02/2023 17:39

Well personally I think that response to me from you was very rude in my own personal opinion, and if you talk to your MIL in the same sort of manner, or even just 50% the same way, I'm honestly not surprised she finds herself landed in trouble when it comes to you. I personally would not be so quiet if you spoke to me like that.

We all personally know you couldn’t be quiet in a being quiet competition, it’s ok.

UKNZKiwiBrit · 18/02/2023 17:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Why not, you made a thread slagging off people who ordered takeaway you don't like.

LimeCheesecake · 18/02/2023 17:43

Could it be she genuinely can’t pick up the hint whe people are politely telling her she’s wrong until they shout?