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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think female groups are hard work

323 replies

Peckhaminn · 17/02/2023 23:15

I've found I perform much better one on one than in girl groups. All my life I've got along with men and find their banter much more enlightening and humorous than female banter.

I don't seem to stick well I'm girl groups, often the one push out or the one that's too 'open'. I just find men much easier than women and I was wondering if this is a common issue?

OP posts:
JamSandle · 17/02/2023 23:16

Not for me. I love my group of girls. I couldn't imagine my life without them in it.

Original poster
Peckhaminn · 17/02/2023 23:16

*I often am the one whose pushed out or told I'm 'too open' about sex and personal issues

OP posts:
ForestLilac · 17/02/2023 23:17

I don’t mind, but the smaller the better. I prefer one on one, or two is okay.

FlashDash · 17/02/2023 23:19

Yep, way too cliquey. Prefer my male friends as company. Also work in a male dominated industry and prefer it after being bullied several times by my previous female bosses and colleagues in other industries. I've found nothing but support from my male bosses.

Thepeopleversuswork · 17/02/2023 23:20

It depends entirely on the groups. You can no more generalise about groups of women than you can groups of men.

Sounds like you need better friends.

mondaytosunday · 17/02/2023 23:20

Im surprised that men are open to talking about their sex and personal issues! Whereas with my women friends they are frequent topics. But so what? If you enjoy the company of men more it's not an 'issue' but a personal preference. C'est la vie!

Loopylands · 17/02/2023 23:22

Sadly at work I do feel safer confiding in the men in my team. They are better at keeping secrets.

Cuppasoupmonster · 17/02/2023 23:23

You do you hun

NancyJoan · 17/02/2023 23:23

I don’t enjoy anyone being open about personal/sex issues, male or female.

I have a couple of male friends, but my female friends are like family.

I dislike working with men, and would never want to work for a man again.

Cracklingfire1 · 17/02/2023 23:24

Are you young and attractive / a bit flirty? Do you enjoy the attention from the men that the women don't necessarily give you?
Women friends can be amazing.

Original poster
Peckhaminn · 17/02/2023 23:25

I have had so many female groups and fallen out with all of them from bitchiness or finding them too 'girly' and they found talking about personal things such as periods or vagina fluid 'gross' it's just weird. I feel like male banter is so much better than women's? I have two good girl friends who I can be open and honest with about anything but other groups I just have never clicked with. I think I find a lot of them very immature, especially not open to discussing personal issues?

OP posts:
Original poster
Peckhaminn · 17/02/2023 23:27

Cracklingfire1 · 17/02/2023 23:24

Are you young and attractive / a bit flirty? Do you enjoy the attention from the men that the women don't necessarily give you?
Women friends can be amazing.

Not at all, happily been in a relationship for over 5 years. Been the same all my life. I just find men easier I think. Less high maintenance maybe?

OP posts:
Cracklingfire1 · 17/02/2023 23:27

Men were definitely funnier and made more of an effort when I was younger so I probably enjoyed their company. Women have no need to try to 'entertain' you. A woman's friendship will most probably be more genuine when you get to know them.

AndTheSurveySays · 17/02/2023 23:28

they found talking about personal things such as periods or vagina fluid 'gross' it's just weird

Do the men you spend time with often talk about periods and vaginal fluid with you? Confused

spottie · 17/02/2023 23:29

So do your male friends banter with you about "vagina fluid" then OP?

Sounds horrible.

Swiftswatch · 17/02/2023 23:29

No.
If you’re frequently having these issues with other women perhaps the problem is actually you, not everyone else.

Original poster
Peckhaminn · 17/02/2023 23:30

AndTheSurveySays · 17/02/2023 23:28

they found talking about personal things such as periods or vagina fluid 'gross' it's just weird

Do the men you spend time with often talk about periods and vaginal fluid with you? Confused

Nooo! I mean when I spoke to the women I was in groups with they found that gross never spoke with men about it! I just thought you should be able to be open with female parties/friends have a joke about and I think majority of them never found it funny to discuss just grossed them out

OP posts:
Swiftswatch · 17/02/2023 23:30

I just find men easier I think. Less high maintenance maybe?

~I’m not like other girls~

namechangeagaintoday · 17/02/2023 23:31

I'm the same op. Work in a male dominated industry.

HedwigIsMyDemon · 17/02/2023 23:32

I have two amazing groups of female friends, and a group of mixed friends with whom I have a lovely relationship with the men as well as women.

People are people - good and bad in both sexes 😍.

WandaWonder · 17/02/2023 23:33

I find men more straight forward and I know where I stand with them more overall but I have both women and men I get along with so I take people individually

I do find women put way to much thought into every little thing, with men if someone is being annoying they are told 'stop being a twat' women haven't this feeling judged, competitive drawn out drama thing

Pureradio · 17/02/2023 23:34

I've got at least 4 wonderful groups of girlfriends, I don't know what I'd do without them in my life tbh, they are my lifelines.

Paturday · 17/02/2023 23:35

Have just come back from dinner with a friend and we both agreed we prefer 1 on 1. I can never get a word in edgeways in a group. Biggest group I go out with generally is 2 friends for dinner.

Hawkins003 · 17/02/2023 23:35

Personally I prefer more female friends than males, yes I get along with both, but it's a mix as I like various conversation types, and topics

CherLloydbyCherLloyd · 17/02/2023 23:36

I personally feel most comfortable in a mixed sex group.

I wouldn’t particularly enjoy being the only female unless the men I was with had a common interest - for example I’d happily go to a gig with a group of men, but I’d not be so keen to go watch the football because I don’t like football.

Im fine with small groups of either sex; but in a large group I find mixed sex generally more straightforward.

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