To think female groups are hard work

[Peckhaminn]

I've found I perform much better one on one than in girl groups. All my life I've got along with men and find their banter much more enlightening and humorous than female banter.

I don't seem to stick well I'm girl groups, often the one push out or the one that's too 'open'. I just find men much easier than women and I was wondering if this is a common issue?

Exactly. OP has basically said men are a lot more fun, she doesn’t get on with women and they’re too much hard work. Maybe other women pick up on this vibe and give her a wide berth for being too difficult?

This and sometimes they are overly sensitive and behave like toddlers 😏

But at the same time I don’t joke with women about vaginal fluid. I wouldn’t mind talking about someone’s problem, but joking about discharge erm, no.

My group of 6 is perfect. Great bunch of supportive women who I've been friends with since childhood. I think you probably need better friends. I know I'm incredibly grateful for mine, they've been with me through everything.

Men do weird shit like what? You sound like you would know.

I hit my late 20s and had a baby, suddenly all those men stopped being so relaxed and bantery, and started treating me like they treated other men - or worse, as they treated middle aged women. In short, it was all good while they thought that they could sleep with me.
I have never found this, despite now being aged! I have always worked n a male dominated industry and have no problem with how men treat me. We have plenty of relaxed banter.
Personally I always prefer one on one social interaction with women and men rather than groups.

This.

The way you seem to interact when out with a group of women seems - let's say - unusual. So maybe it isn't "female groups" who are hard work, but something about your social skills and your lack of ability to know what is socially acceptable or not.

Hmm, there can be some nasty shit in men’s friendship groups, you are very lucky if you haven’t been exposed to that

Bullshit? I described an experience and for some reason you took offence. Have you ever examined your own attitude?

Not sure if it was this thread or another but I find it odd people think all woman act and are the same

Someone mentioned not feeling comfortable as they at not like 'all women' or some like

Unless someone lives an incredibly sheltered life people must realise not all men and women are the same

Yes, I think partly I had absolutely garbage judgement when younger. The change in how they treated me was so sudden and noticeable. I work in a male dominated industry with lots of "networking over drinks" and now make a game out of dropping my child into conversation and watching their entire attitude towards me change while pretending it hasn't. Outside of work, my acquaintances and casual male friends disappeared pretty quickly.

This thread, honestly 😂

"Women aren't bitchy. You're probably just unlikeable 💅"

there have been loads of these threads, the OP’s opinion isn’t an unusual one. I find that often OPs like this come from a different expectation /higher expectation of standards of women than men. Maybe women are never going to meet your high expectation/perfect ideal of female friendship. Perhaps you don’t have the same expectation of men to provide you with that, so you feel more satisfied with whatever they do give you

Women do realise that there is a way of interacting with other women,some people are good at it, some not. I am not good at lying, or pretending. I was open mouthed with shock when a friend pretended something to her parents. It was a revelation.

With the women I have known a lot it's all status and ranking driven. So depressing. The only sister I was close to was very twaw and was vicious in her disagreement.

I know what you mean OP.

It can be a lot easier to chat to men you don’t know well than to women you don’t know well. Men chat about factual things - sport, tech, jokes etc where everyone knows what the conversational rules are and if you are interested in these topics, as many women are, the conversation flows and is interesting, entertaining and informative.

Not so the often superficially banal but actually highly loaded, judgmental, easily-offended “female” conversations which lots of groups of women seem to do which say one thing but can mean entirely another.

Many women (me included) hate these kinds of conversations, although many other women (and some men) enjoy them and are very good at them. They are definitely a skill and the seeming inanities can allow a deep knowledge of the other person to develop over time that you mightn’t achieve from the more factual “male” banter.

It’s so, so much harder (I think) to chat to women and get to know them well but once you finally do….I smile much more often at men’s jokes, but only with other women do I laugh until the tears roll down my face and I’ve snotted my drink out through my nose.

I don't think you can make generalisations due to sex, everyone can be untrustworthy, annoying arseholes if you meet them on the wrong day.

That being said and hypocritical I think it depends what you want from friendships i do find dynamics between male and female friendship groups different

I don't fancy talking about vagina fluids

I'm exactly the same. Always got along be with men.

If Mumsnet is a prime example on how women are supposed to behave then we are absolutely screwed.

I’m the same OP. I have few good girl/women! friends and I find I’m far more relaxed talking to men. Conversations and easier usually and I feel like I’m treading on eggshells with women, they’re much more easily offended and likely to gossip about you too.

Sounds you have higher expectations from women than men, so it is easier for men to pass.

I was similar, male industry, but I found I connect really well with women from my broader field and started to expand from that.

“Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl."

I do find it interesting people berate the OP for her generalisations, but then post shit like this doing the same to her

@Calistan I have no idea why that poster was weirdly personally offended at your comment. I took what you said to be a bit sold depreciating actually, like you struggle to fit in. You never said all women the problem. Or anything remotely similar That poster is acting bizarrely, probably on a wind up.

This sounds personal for you. Did she take your boyfriend?

Yeah men are wonderful company when you’re young and still fuckable. Sorry but that’s what it boils down to. You’re still worth entertaining because it boosts their ego.

I’m in my 50s now and was like you. Hated groups of women, thought men were less hard work. Yes they were. Because women in their 20s and 30s are insecure and highly strung and all their energy is fixed focussed on meeting the right life partner and earning a living. Everything else is collateral damage.

Now I’m older, and the women I know are more raw, been through it, and prepared to be vulnerable with each other - they’re funny and kind.

They are the ones that stepped up and covered my child care when I was running late and I reciprocated. They are the ones who mopped my tears and talked me down when my DH was a shit. They were the ones who lent me stuff when I had no money….

When you’re older the scales fall off your eyes and you see that actually most men are self serving shits (namalt obvs) and it’s women that are the key to empathy, kindness and genuine camaraderie. Yes, they’ll piss you off with their brutal honesty. But they hold you and raise you up in a way men will never do.