To think female groups are hard work

[Peckhaminn]

I've found I perform much better one on one than in girl groups. All my life I've got along with men and find their banter much more enlightening and humorous than female banter.

I don't seem to stick well I'm girl groups, often the one push out or the one that's too 'open'. I just find men much easier than women and I was wondering if this is a common issue?

I have suffered badly at the hands of bitchy males. I know damn well that men can be bitchy.

This.

"ive put it down to be not thinking or acting like a girl does and im quite gobby, take no shit and quite frankly a alpha type

i wouldn't know how to deal with the high drama types or high maintenance ones."

Andrew Tate could have written this.

There’s a thread elsewhere on the site where a group of men were loudly rating women’s looks in public. Seems pretty bitchy to me!

I do find "I get on better with men. Women are bitches" to be a huge red flag to be honest. Normally those women have been the common problem in the female friendship group but they're totally unaware of their behaviour.

I've worked with straight men who were horrifically bitchy to each other. Often in an extremely cruel way.

Yes, plainly you are just far too cool to slum it with 51% of the world's population.

Loving that they are prudish if they don't want to discuss your periods but you wouldn't consider discussing this with the cool men.

My team is mostly women. Not bitchy and full of lovely ladies who are all kind and supportive. I never discuss my vaginal fluid with anyone except my gynecologist. I like men too but prefer working with women. My husband says he prefers men as he finds them more straightforward.

Plus perhaps if you go into situations expecting women (or men) to act in a certain way then you end up confirming your own biases. You notice when the women talk about something stereotypically female but miss the bits when they don’t. I had a conversation with a group of female friends the other day that started with stereotypical ‘women’ stuff I suppose (summer wardrobe) but ended off on a tangent about the ethics of displaying human remains in museums. If I’d have just thought ‘typical women talking about dresses’ and zoned out I’d have missed out on that. I went out with a male friend recently and had a very intense celebrity gossip chat. There’s no such thing as male hobbies or female hobbies or topics - just stereotypes. Ditto if you expect women to be horrible bitches then you’ll pick up on every negative comment or anything that could be perceived as bitchy and miss anything positive (and overlook any bitchy behaviour in the male groups as it doesn’t fit the narrative).

This.

I used to believe that all women were 'bitchy' too when I was younger, as I could never seem to remain part of a group for long.

Men just didn't seem to notice or care about the small social faux pas I was commiting daily.

• Giving too much/not enough personal space.

• Too much or too little eye contact ( I still struggle to balance this, either told I'm 'staring' and compared to a psycopath or percieved as shifty because I'm not giving any eye contact.)

• Not picking up on the unspoken rules, or cues I was being given by the group.

After diagnosis I can see what was actually happening back then. I believe that women (in general) notice when someone's body language or social communication is even slightly 'off'. Maybe something to do with women usually having to be hyper-aware to keep themselves safe. Rtaher than 'bitchy' I think I just made them uncomfortable, perhaps they couldn't even really put their finger on why they disliked me.

It’s not bitchy, it actually just the most probable answer.
What is more likely, that every single woman OP has ever come into contact with is not fun, bitchy, not funny or that there is a problem with the way OP profiles all women and therefore a problem with the way she interacts with them?

Unless you it’s incredibly uncommon for a woman to be funny or a good friend.
It’s internalised misogyny and it’s bullshit. It pulls down other women and they are picking up on it.

OP thinks she is so special and ‘not like other girls’. She probably thinks she’s super cool and relaxed because she can drink a beer.
It’s all a facade and other women probably see through it.

God, women are so much more interesting, creative, and funny than men.

I find both sex can be equally as bitchy and backstabbing as each other. Gossiping seems to be perceived as a female trait but I've come across many men who are worse and add jealousy and bitterness to the mix, they will make your life like hell. With men though I always find that you can never be friends with them or at least long term as they end up fancying you and wanting to shag you which changes the dynamic. Of course this could be said to women as well who fancy their male friends after a while but I've experienced the male version after forming friendships and later signalling they want to uproot their life to be with me and those friendships have died. I have female friends where we can comfortably fart next to each other without judgement but also other female friends where the words "vagina, sex and periods" are forbidden but I'm better with one on one friendships.

Yet another inaccurate generalisation that wouldn't stand real analysis

Probably means you are more gender conforming than average so align with learned social differences of male and female
Can't see any other way to get to such a daft conclusion

Interesting @Newtonsnipple

One of the things covered in the work all female training course was about reading cues in males and females - it was fascinating and nice to have someone explain

I do find "I get on better with men. Women are bitches" to be a huge red flag to be honest.

Same here. My female friends are very different from each other and have a range of personalities and interests.

When you look at it, the 'men are cooler and women are bitches' is more of the same old sexism.

Not like the other girls women: I don't do friendships with women. They're so bitchy, high maintenance, and men are so much funnier, easier to get on with, better etc.

Women: Really? You sound quite bitchy by speaking about 50% of the world in quite a misogynistic way. There's lots of personalities in womanhood and you can't generalise.

Not like the other girls women: see you're proving my point. Look how bitchy and cliquey woman are. Women are so defensive. Men would never object to me speaking about women like this. This is why I'm not like the other girls.

There's nothing cool about same old sexist bullshit.

I'm easy either way

Massive eye roll.

Nothing worse than some not so internalised mysoginy eh

Ooooh girls are so bitchy and awful. But not me. I'm not like every other girl. I'm special

Sure you are

🙄

Yep, I’m the same, OP. I have never had a large group of female friends since 6th form. I did value those friendships but then we went our separate ways to uni all around the country and didn’t go back to our home village and then life just got so different and busy for everyone that everyone developed new ties.

im 50 now and I’ve noticed that in my city a lot of women have stayed here, studied here or got jobs here, and kept the same friendship groups from their youth. they go on weekends away, hen nights abroad, big nights out etc all as a large female group. That’s an alien concept to me and I don’t think I’d enjoy it at all.

I prefer the deeper company and conversation of just 1-2 other women. Something weird seems to happen in large groups of women on nights out. There’s always drama. Someone always gets drunk and cries. Someone makes a bitchy or sarcastic comment and someone else bristles or flounces. Someone flirts with every man in sight in attention-seeking way. Someone is always really loud and hogs the conversation so that you can’t get a word in edgeways. Someone always moans constantly about their boyfriend or husband or just anything really and drags everyone’s mood down. Someone just wants to talk about nothing else but boring stuff like beauty and fashion and diets. Someone else can’t get over their shitty ex boyfriend and is obsessed with talking to you about them. In fact that probably describes a lot of hen nights, I reckon.

I’m just so over all that. I really value the company of just one or two other women at a time who have similar values to me. Who you can really talk to openly and honestly. No drama. Just mutual support. And laughter.

at uni I liked large group events, but they were always mixed or often male only. Just more straight forward and balanced. No dramas. I always seemed to get on with girls and young women who were quite a bit older than me so maybe it’s just cos I was born old and boring though 😆

🤣🤣🤣 I dare you to talk about periods and vaginal fluids in your men-groups and see how funny they find you. 🤣🤣🤣

People, you need to atop feeding these😂😂😂

Vaginal fluid talk at work my arse😂

I don’t really talk about them around women either tbf nobody needs to hear that

Made up people are always special 😉

I don't really like men. Although I'm in a long term heterosexual relationship. In general I find the less men the better. I find on the whole men are arrogant and selfish. So honestly when people say they get along better with this it makes me wonder about them. But each to their own and all that....

Yep.

If you have a problem relating to over half the population, the problem is probably you.

Blah blah men are so much better and manly and straightforward and never cause ANY drama (like wars or anything) ever, women are silly dramatic bitches amirite? Except me, I’m not like all the other girls.

This trope has been skewered pretty effectively so many times, it’s really depressing that it’s still so pervasive and to see so many women still perpetuating it.