To give up on heels?

[Mimmi78]

I have had a life long love affair with heels, tall, shiny, colours, kittens, courts and sky highs.
Roll forward to working from home since 2020 and now spend one day a week in my Central London office.
I have recently found a whole day in them excruciating and painful. just can't wear heels all day anymore! I have been lugging them about in a bag and do the train to office in trainers and any other walking!
Aibu - just keep lugging them about like the rest of us!
Yanbu- Join the revolution and here are some fabulous feel good but not horrid alternatives!

I don't have any thoughts on other people wearing heels but I have never got on with them, so they've just never featured in my wardrobe.

I used to suffer dresses and heels for job interviews but gave up on that by my mid-20s. I have worn a blouse, slim black trousers and loafers to my last few successful interviews and nobody batted an eye. Thankfully my current boss wears skinny jeans and Converse to work every day, which sets a pleasing tone for the dress code

I think you are right and we are kidding ourselves if we claim to make decisions without outside influence or that our fashion choices are purely self expression. There are a myriad of reasons why we choose to wear something or why we perceive that we look best dressed a certain way .. and some / many of those reasons will be the patriarchy. We don’t make our decisions in a bubble and we aren’t expressing ourselves without pre-conceived ideas of what clothes represent.

I hate high heels. I very rarely wear them and when I do I’m in agony but yet I can’t bring myself to wear flat shoes on the one or two occasions a year which require dressing up, like a black tie function or a wedding.

Surprised so many find them dated and argue that most women no longer wear them. I teach and plenty of teachers of all ages still wear them. Younger teachers (like me) tend to wear heeled boots or mules rather than stilettos. Some wear loafers, brogues or flat boots. No one wears trainers because that isn’t professional! I wouldn’t dream of wearing trainers on a night out or to a restaurant either and I’m only 29.

Agreed. But some posters would probably also claim that no men wear ties any more, imagining that everyone lives and works in their ultra modern London bubble and swans around looking all casual and cool. Meanwhile every male member of staff in my school is required to wear a jacket and tie!

We drove past a teal shiny suited wedding the other day and they all had ties on.

Yes, that’s my thought. I hate clunky school like shoes. Very practical are very ugly usually!

We watched the latest Jurassic Park Dominion film tonight, and I couldn't help noticing that the Bryce Dallas Howard character is no longer wearing her infamous heels.

😆That franchise is still going?
I remember in a previous film when she outran the T-Rex in stilettos. (She wore the stilettos…not the T-Rex…)
The other thing that gets me is when a heroine fights off an army of baddies in high heels, tight lycra and long hair flowing all over the place. In real life those things would get you killed in under a minute. Someone needs to sit down with those film directors and have a serious talk with them about the realities of combat.

Very well said 👌

Have you looked at irregular choice?

Something like this? They are stupidly comfortable in the low heel. I have a pair. I wear them once in a blue moon (always in flats for work or trainers) but I can wear them perfectly fine. They also do a wide fit. And there’s a similar style shoe with a higher heel edging more to stiletto if you prefer.

www.irregularchoice.com/collections/womens-shoes/products/dazzle-razzle-ay-black-lace-mid-heels#

The problem with this is that one's feet lose the ability/flexibility for heels. Trust me, I've tried.

I only wear heels on a night out so like 4-8 a year

Give them up. Too painful, I gave up heels years ago. I like a nice block heel, 2 1/2 inches is fine. I wear flats but not exclusively. & absolutely no to trainers outside the gym. But if one never goes to nice places then brogues DMs & such are ok. Try a block heel see how you go.

A woman came into my office the other day (visitor) with a pencil skirt, tights and stilettos and it looked so dated and out of place; it really caught my eye. Don't get me wrong, she looked great and had a lovely figure but it was just so far removed from what is worn now.

This 100%

I haven't worn heels for years as I'm comfortable being just under 5ft. After having plantar fasciitis a few years ago I now only wear lace up shoes, boots or trainers for fear of it returning.

It's a sad day when you lose those handy 3 inches. Still miss them but my spine won't have them any longer.

Yabu to think that 'the rest of us' are lugging heels around with us. People in heels are very much a minority where I live.

@Nimbostratus100 the line “it’s up to them” is very much at odds with the rest of your post. The thought of one group of women silently judging, looking down on and writing off another, is just horrible

having said that, I will judge and judge hard anyone who wears Irregular Choice shoes @Youainttheonlyone as they are also horrible 😆

I don’t think it’s the norm to lug heels into work anymore. Most people wear flats.

You could do either, obviously

They have gone into massive retreat in the last decade, in an awful lot of workplaces and social situations. I don’t think anyone would say no one wears them, but they are like hens teeth in many situations.

Teaching dress is quite formal (to match the uniforms I guess). In lots of workplaces - by no means all but lots - trainers are now normal. Similarly it’s very common to wear trainers on informal nights out.

Do you feel like that about any other clothing choices though? It’s a bit odd to put high heels in their own separate forbidden category, especially when there is a whole range of heel heights. I mean, how flat does the shoe need to be? Does a slight incline disqualify a woman from being worthy of your respect?

There are plenty of clothing options that represent less than optimum comfort and convenience. Surely it’s a sliding scale? Or do you only dress for comfort, never balanced by an interest in appearance? I find a certain type of heeled shoe pretty comfortable but I know I wouldn’t wear them if it was just about comfort. It’s a balance. Do you never wear make-up (which surely isn’t good for your skin any more than high heels are good for your feet)?

Perhaps you find heels especially uncomfortable, hence your violent reaction to them. I’m not suggesting they’re not a product of the patriarchy. They blatantly are. But so are low-cut tops, tight skirts, long hair. So is pretty much everything! But I find them no more inconvenient than, for example, wearing mascara. I like the way both of those things look so I am prepared to make the effort sometimes.

Unless you’re living in a tracksuit with untended hair and no makeup, I think you’re being unreasonable.

I'd only wear them for a formal occasion.

Long hair, low cut tops, tight skirts, make-up etc..are pretty harmless. Surely, you can’t put these things in the same category as high heels because it would be pretty daft. I could walk around in tight skirts, low cut tops and caked in make-up all day and wouldn’t even feel it.
High heels are bad for your feet, legs, knees, hips, back, whole posture, the whole shebang. They are way much higher on the extremities list of what women wear.
It takes a certain brain washing for women to accept that wearing them is okay. It’s similar to the foot binding of Chinese women in the past, or wearing corsets, crinoline and all that bull crap while sitting sideways on a galloping horse.

Not everyone has to like these but they won't deform your feet.

Suede Cherry
Blue loafers
Glitter flats
Mocassin
sandals
flats
with jeans and long skirts