Page 7 | To give up on heels?

Mimmi78 · 2023-02-17T17:41:47+00:00

I have had a life long love affair with heels, tall, shiny, colours, kittens, courts and sky highs. Roll forward to working from home since 2020 and now spend one day a week in my Central London office. I have recently found a whole day in them excruciating and painful. just can't wear heels all day anymore! I have been lugging them about in a bag and do the train to office in trainers and any other walking! Aibu - just keep lugging them about like the rest of us! Yanbu- Join the revolution and here are some fabulous feel good but not horrid alternatives!

bozzabollix · 19/02/2023 19:22

Heels are a bit female Tory MP. Fuck that for a barrel of laughs. Give me a nice pair of Docs instead.

honeylulu · 19/02/2023 19:44

I have two pairs of heels in my cupboard at work. I wear trainers on the commute and slip my heels on when I arrive. I love the "finished" look of my office wear with them. I agree though that they have a dated/ older woman vibe but I'm nearly 49 so I'm happy to look like an older woman since I am one!

QuertyGirl · 19/02/2023 19:50

bozzabollix · 19/02/2023 19:22

Heels are a bit female Tory MP. Fuck that for a barrel of laughs. Give me a nice pair of Docs instead.

My people!

Heels are either the above or, the Love Island look.

verdantverdure · 19/02/2023 20:15

What are those programmes with older women with tortured hair and plastic surgery faces trying to be sexy? Real Housewives? That Brexit Barbie woman too. Oakshort?

I bet they all wear stiletto heeled court shoes.

EntreMummy · 19/02/2023 20:42

Thing is, heeled shoes have now been around as high fashion items for centuries - they’re not going to disappear forever.
they will have another resurgence in a few years, and a new generation will start wearing them.

just as with every other trend - I wore big doc marten boots all through my teens in the 90s and then 10 years later no-one would have been seen dead in them. And now here they are again being worn by teenagers.

I love shoes - that includes all the beautiful pairs of heels that I’ve collected over the years. I do miss wearing them these days, but that’s also partly as I’ve lost the habit and I WFH.

I just don’t get as much joy or feel inspired by the new gen of flats that are on the market right now (as ballet flats now having their second go round in my adult life time.)

Whatifthegrassisblue · 19/02/2023 22:00

Calphurnia88 · 19/02/2023 19:14

It's one thing to say that women wear heels as a result of historical pressure (subconsciously or otherwise) from the patriarchy, but to say you find women who wear heels pathetic - as @Cinecitta did - is another.

I used to regularly wear heels for work (currently on mat leave). I have been in a senior management position for several years, own my own house and have a happy and fulfilled life. To think that someone would consider me pathetic because I used to wear heels is frankly ridiculous.

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This 💯 anyone having such an unnatural reaction can only be jealous which is weird in itself. I wear heels, I love heels and I'm a boss lady thanks very much ✊️👠

EveryLittleWish · 19/02/2023 22:03

I got rid of heels ages ago and it was the best decision of my life . I can’t believe how much pain I put myself through for years !!

Busybutbored · 19/02/2023 22:04

flutterbyebaby · 19/02/2023 14:17

Someone gives an opinion you don't agree with so you label them unhinged, it's you and the like that are coming across as disgusting I'm afraid

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This person has repeatedly said she hates people who wear heels. That's actually cray cray. How can you hate someone because of something they wear, I'm actually quite disturbed by those comments and all the hate on here about what someone would wear. That is what is disgusting

jays · 19/02/2023 22:13

Cinecitta · 19/02/2023 13:24

I am pretty sure you don’t wear them at home when nobody can see you…

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So what? What sorts of idiotic comment is that? Seriously, that’s not an argument. People take their wigs off at home, take their teeth out at home, walk about naked at home…. I want to loon the way I want to look, what’s your problem?

flutterbyebaby · 19/02/2023 22:14

Busybutbored · 19/02/2023 22:04

This person has repeatedly said she hates people who wear heels. That's actually cray cray. How can you hate someone because of something they wear, I'm actually quite disturbed by those comments and all the hate on here about what someone would wear. That is what is disgusting

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Could you do with maybe talking to someone who could help you? Hope you are ok

Nimbostratus100 · 19/02/2023 22:15

Busybutbored · 19/02/2023 22:04

This person has repeatedly said she hates people who wear heels. That's actually cray cray. How can you hate someone because of something they wear, I'm actually quite disturbed by those comments and all the hate on here about what someone would wear. That is what is disgusting

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😂this person certainly hasnt!

Why would I waste any hate on anyone?

I have said I lose respect for women I see wearing heels

MrsMikeDrop · 19/02/2023 22:21

Nimbostratus100 · 19/02/2023 18:46

I think the reason for this contention, is that some women , whether they personally wear heels or not, see it as a neutral act, whereas many women ( and I am one!) see it as a specific political antifeminist statement

To me, it isnt a case of judging what someone is wearing just as clothing but judging that someone is actively choosing to conform to the patriarchy, and play the role of a physically incapable woman, for the pleasure of men.

I think if women are walking round in heels without realising how that makes ( some) other women feel and respond to them, (and actually, some men dont like it for the same reasons - they dont want women disabling themselves to try and get into favour!) then this thread can only open their eyes to that - if they still choose to wear heels, its up to them

And if you think I am unfair to respond to heels like that, well, I am aware some women disagree with me.

By that reasoning do you only wear pants, have short hair, no make up etc? I'm assuming someone like Mrs Trunchball in Matilda or the Governess in 'Who wants to be a Millionaire' is that the only acceptable look for women so they are not attractive or desirable to any men?? God forbid we may want to look nice for ourselves? Are we allowed to shower with soap? Or would it be best as a PP said Hessian sack (with no belt of course)? 😒😳🤣

Nimbostratus100 · 19/02/2023 22:26

MrsMikeDrop · 19/02/2023 22:21

By that reasoning do you only wear pants, have short hair, no make up etc? I'm assuming someone like Mrs Trunchball in Matilda or the Governess in 'Who wants to be a Millionaire' is that the only acceptable look for women so they are not attractive or desirable to any men?? God forbid we may want to look nice for ourselves? Are we allowed to shower with soap? Or would it be best as a PP said Hessian sack (with no belt of course)? 😒😳🤣

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this discussion is not about anytihng like that.

This discussion is about an item of clothing that is specifically designed to disable the female wearer, for the viewing enjoyment of men

And an item of clothing that costs the NHS millions

Why are you comparing that to long hair and make up? In what way is that related? Neither disables the wearer, or costs the NHS millions

Busybutbored · 19/02/2023 22:27

flutterbyebaby · 19/02/2023 22:14

Could you do with maybe talking to someone who could help you? Hope you are ok

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So weird for a supposedly women's forum that people are so judgemental on what other women wear ... I just find it sad that's all. Best to spend time in the real world with normal people, I'll be fine thank you 😊

MrsMikeDrop · 19/02/2023 22:30

Nimbostratus100 · 19/02/2023 22:26

this discussion is not about anytihng like that.

This discussion is about an item of clothing that is specifically designed to disable the female wearer, for the viewing enjoyment of men

And an item of clothing that costs the NHS millions

Why are you comparing that to long hair and make up? In what way is that related? Neither disables the wearer, or costs the NHS millions

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Actually I think it was OP asking if she should give up her heels. Personally I couldn't, but I think she should go for it if she wants, plenty of nice flat options out there and it's 2023 women can wear whatever they want 😏

StrawHatOnTheParcelShelf · 19/02/2023 22:30

I more or less gave up on my heels because of fashion and I don't want extra height next to my shorter partner. Then once I started wearing them infrequently, it became uncomfortable to wear them at all.

But when they were worn regularly, I didn't find them painful to wear and could move freely in them. The pointy flats I now wear for dressy occasions are more uncomfortable!

flutterbyebaby · 19/02/2023 22:31

Busybutbored · 19/02/2023 22:27

So weird for a supposedly women's forum that people are so judgemental on what other women wear ... I just find it sad that's all. Best to spend time in the real world with normal people, I'll be fine thank you 😊

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I'm glad about that 🙂

TheGold · 19/02/2023 22:35

There is still a place for heels, I think. There are some formal or evening dresses that just cry out for a heel to complete the look. Sometimes you don’t need or want to be practical, you just want to look fabulous.

For everyday wear, though, I think they’ve been pretty much cancelled and rightly so.

Tangfastic71 · 20/02/2023 07:13

If you like a retro look then this shop has some lovely flats and low comfortable heels. I don’t really like the look of high heels - to me they just look a bit try hard. But each to their own because I know my look is definitely not for everyone 😊
Etsy Shop

alwayscheery · 20/02/2023 11:18

I have grown to hate them I move from boots in Winter to Birkies in the summer.
What do you all wear for weddings please?

WandaWonder · 20/02/2023 11:20

alwayscheery · 20/02/2023 11:18

I have grown to hate them I move from boots in Winter to Birkies in the summer.
What do you all wear for weddings please?

Flat shoes

BlackbeardsToast · 20/02/2023 12:39

Thing is, heeled shoes have now been around as high fashion items for centuries - they’re not going to disappear forever.
they will have another resurgence in a few years, and a new generation will start wearing them.

I suspect this too. Fashions just go round and round. Just recently I've been seeing more and more people with those thin, over plucked eyebrows of the nineties - proving that even the bonkers fashions of the past will probably get their time in the sun again

Highdaysandholidays1 · 20/02/2023 12:50

I hope that the fashion for trainers doesn't die off any time soon, but it will eventually, it's all about sports and performing being healthy and lycra and it won't last for ever.

I don't care about flat shoes in general like ballet shoes or flat loafers, these aren't comfy to me, and I prefer a bit of a heel (even just 1 inch) or a bit of a chunkier moulded sole. Lace-ups are comfier but remind me of school; they looked cute in 1998 with a short skirt but not with my current outfits.

Twoshoesnewshoes · 20/02/2023 13:16

anyway.
I wore some v similar to these
www.office.co.uk/view/product/office_catalog/2,302/4898385002
to a wedding with wide leg cream trousers and a floral top

ExasperatedbyJanuary · 20/02/2023 13:34

Wow - this thread is wild!

Lots of women desperate to prove how fashionable/ down with the kids they are (“Oh no one wears heels any more ha ha!”) for one thing!

Of course heels are to do with the male gaze. That’s surely not up for debate is it? I still like to wear a pair from time to time though 🤷‍♀️

The patriarchy is real and far-reaching. Loads of the clothing we wear originated in ideas about what men thought men should look like and what men thought women should look like.

Bur today, heels are just one of many options. Certain dresses look better with a heel. My view of what looks ‘better’ was forged in the man-pleasing 90s so it will be shot-through with all sorts of patriarchal bullshit. But I’m ok with that. Because it’s only clothes. And I’m free to wear flats if I want. And I don’t care if I don’t look young - I’m in my 40s.

The most comfortable thing I could wear would probably be tracksuit bottoms, t-shirt and trainers… but most of us settle somewhere between that and full corset/stilettos in our professional life! To single out heels as the one evil item is very blinkered.