To give up on heels?

[Mimmi78]

I have had a life long love affair with heels, tall, shiny, colours, kittens, courts and sky highs.
Roll forward to working from home since 2020 and now spend one day a week in my Central London office.
I have recently found a whole day in them excruciating and painful. just can't wear heels all day anymore! I have been lugging them about in a bag and do the train to office in trainers and any other walking!
Aibu - just keep lugging them about like the rest of us!
Yanbu- Join the revolution and here are some fabulous feel good but not horrid alternatives!

well, I do enjoy a good proper difference of opinions on Mumsnet, but normally just blank out anyone saying silly things like "unhinged" as it normally just indicates lack of content in their posting

but I do need to come back to this

because of the flippant, throwaway "no one is being forced to" etc.

because I dont think its true

Those 80 year olds you are talking about probably were forced to

and these days, in the uk, it would not be legal to put it in writing in a dress code, but the expectation can still be there, social and professional

And outside the UK... well you only have to look at some of the awful ads for various airlines and see what ALL their stewardesses are wearing, to know it is still being enforced.

I don’t find heels uncomfortable and can easily run in them.

However, they’re just so dated and old fashioned. I got rid of mine.

Nobody “grooms” women to wear anything. They do it willingly.
They do it for men’s attention. If anyone dismisses it, they are lying. Of course women wear high heels for attention. What else would they wear them? For their own amusement?
The idea behind high heels is that they elongate the legs and jot out the arse and tits. It’s about sexual titillation, a signal for men.
Oh my, I sound like Germaine Greer! 😆

I ditched stiletto and other forms of heels when I was in my mid twenties. I'm 56 now.

I've not worn them since and now have no clue how I ever managed to walk around in them. I kind of admire women who can and do, but to me the heels just look scary.

For comfort and security I would only ever wear trainers or flat loafers. I don't care what anyone thinks of my choices and I certainly wouldn't put stilettos/ high heels in a bag to lug around. Just why bother?

The more you post, you reinforce the 'unhinged' comments ... did someone in heels hurt you as a child?
Maybe the 80yo just liked to look nice, and I'm sure they did. The 90+ Queen wore heels, did you hate her and were you also disgusted at her too? She seemed pretty able to me.

I’ll tell you why I wear high heel. I’m really short. I’m slim but I have really chunky calves, my mum did too, it’s just genetic. I feel so dumpy and dislike the way my legs look in a dress unless I have heels on. I need a bit of a slight platform, don’t suit ankle straps and I don’t suit a thin stiletto heel, I need to balance out my calves. I would love to wear ballet pumps but I don’t suit them. Id love to wear biker boots with a dress, that’s my dream look. But I don’t suit that. I can’t help what I suit and what makes me feel like I’m dressing for my body shape. It’s really disheartening to hear the judgment from some of the women in this thread that they’d look at me and think I’m old, unfavourable, stupid, not to be taken seriously. I don’t shout flat shoes with a dress. Just like some people don’t suit skinny jeans. It really is that simple. I would love to suit flat shoes but I don’t. Doesn’t mean in stupid, trying to disable myself, can’t do my job properly or am desperate for male attention. I just want to wear what suits me.

I agree they are very dated and I am very pleased about this because:

1. They are really bad for our feet and can cause bunions and permanently shorten the Achilles tendon. Women have far more foot surgeries than men in the UK.
2. Some women claim they need them to 'power dress' Not seen any working men choosing to use them to feel powerful or look professional.
3. Many women wearing them end up walking bare foot after a night out because they are in so much pain but I've never seen men 'choose' to wear them to a club and walk home bare foot.
4. They are very difficult to run in, contrary to a couple of posters claims on this thread that they can run better in heels. Never seen an athlete choose to wear heels to run a race in for speed and comfort.
5. Many women have to load a spare pair of shoes in their bag just so they can get from A to B because they can't when they wear heels. Not seen many (any) men do this.
6. Thinking you like something through free choice is often actually down to social norms and aesthetic expectations. Men generally don't choose to wear heel because it is not the social norm or expectation. They also don't have social imagery and expectations of beauty around them being long and slender.

I am out quite a bit and I have seen so many women with very cute flats and boots with dresses. Definitely not seen any women under 45 in heels.

I am pretty sure you don’t wear them at home when nobody can see you…

They look terribly dated. As someone upthread said, the only women I see wearing them are on the Apprentice. And Kate Middleton 😂

I can't say as I care one way or the other what women wear on their feet, anymore than I care about what they wear on their heads.
It's personal choice and the square root of fuck all to do with anyone else.

I would love to be able to wear heels but have dyspraxia. But I do wear them in my dreams...

I think high heels are not having a fashion moment. I'm happy with that, no desire to totter now, although I did back in the day.

young people wear trainers, almost exclusively. They are not wearing loafers or brogues so much. Chunky trainers or those with built in platforms though are quite popular, so some of them must care about height/chunk in their shoes.

I hate ballet flats, I also have a lovely pair of flat desert boots that are incredibly uncomfortable, they are the worst kind of shoe as they look comfy but rub.

I mainly wear trainers or chunky winter boots. Not sure what to do beyond that. I don't want to live in trainers.

I don't feel excited by many flat shoes, not sure why, I prefer a boot with a bit of heel (1 inch even) and I can't get excited by trainers, even though I have many pairs.

I loved how heels made me feel and I can't replicate that.

Aibu - just keep lugging them about like the rest of us!
Um, the rest of us aren't doing this! We're just wearing shoes we can walk in all day without an outfit change.

This is how I feel.

Yep, I'm glad flats are having a renaissance (or maybe I'm just less bothered about impressing anyone but myself) and I no longer have to lug a cumbersome pair of shoes around with me.

Someone gives an opinion you don't agree with so you label them unhinged, it's you and the like that are coming across as disgusting I'm afraid

Nah, nobody really wears them anymore. They look a bit naff and try hard these days.

I gave up on heels about 12 years ago. Wore them all the time in my teens and early 20s, but honestly, they always killed my feet.
Officially gave up on them after a cousins wedding, when my feet felt like they were on fire. Don't even own any heels any more.

Heels look pretty dated now - flats are much cooler and comfier - massive win!

I haven’t worn heel in decades. I used to put up with the pain but I realised they ruined a night out etc. I seem to have very little padding on the balls of my feet and no matter what sort of padding I tried in my shoes I was always in agony. I am 5’9’’ so I don’t need them for height and I’m so glad they aren’t fashionable anymore.

Sorry op, you asked about beautiful alternatives to heels. And you’ve got a feminist debate instead.

im currently covering a pair of emerald green loafers.

Haven't RTFT but I clearly recall being told by my yoga teacher (I was with her for 30 years so she didn't spout any old nonsense) to never wear heels because of the damage they do to your posture / spine. You do walk differently in heels, that is kind of the point of them. My chunky plates of meat were never at home in heels anyway but I do think a beautifully arched foot slipping into some Manolo's or whatevs is very attractive and sophisticated. Just NFM !

Yeah. I've been following in anticipation of some nice flat suggestions (upcoming weddings to attend) but have yet to see any

Where from?

Sam Edelman do lovely dupes of the Gucci loafers and The Row Mary Jane flats.

Pretty Ballerina and Repetto do gorgeous flat shoes but both a little on the pricey side (for me).