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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give up on heels?

232 replies

Mimmi78 · 17/02/2023 17:41

I have had a life long love affair with heels, tall, shiny, colours, kittens, courts and sky highs.
Roll forward to working from home since 2020 and now spend one day a week in my Central London office.
I have recently found a whole day in them excruciating and painful. just can't wear heels all day anymore! I have been lugging them about in a bag and do the train to office in trainers and any other walking!
Aibu - just keep lugging them about like the rest of us!
Yanbu- Join the revolution and here are some fabulous feel good but not horrid alternatives!

OP posts:
EmmaEmerald · 19/02/2023 00:54

Oh, and I'll add "needs to be expert in given topic to dare to think aloud" to the list of reasons to avoid AIBU.

LotteLomax · 19/02/2023 01:17

Nimbostratus100 · 18/02/2023 23:32

I hate them and hate seeing women wear them. A woman in heels is always less physically capable than a woman in flat shoes

They were originally military, to remain on your horse during cavalry charges - they became phetishised and used to disable women. - its gross

I can never feel the same respect for a woman if I see them wearing heels, whether they are an employee, a manager, or anything.

Why put on in item of clothing which has no function whatsoever except to disable the female wearer for the pleasure of the male observers?

You sound like a barrel of laughs.

Lighten up! And stop being so judgemental.

you’re frankly weird.

StellaGibson2022 · 19/02/2023 01:26

I’m really enjoying getting reacquainted with heels again now I am in the office 3 days a week.

I love loafers and brogues, trainers and I also still love heels!

Notcontent · 19/02/2023 01:37

Yes, I think they look really dated.

I work in a professional environment in which even 10 years ago women wore heels. Now the only ones wearing them are some older women who just haven’t got out of the habit. I used to wear them but now don’t.
I think they can look good for special evening occasions. Or weddings etc.

BitOutOfPractice · 19/02/2023 01:43

I too was an inveterate heel wearer (bite me @Nimbostratus100 😆) but have stopped since Covid. I’ve just lost the knack. It does make me sad because I loved them. But now I simply embrace the beautiful flat and trainers.

WandaWonder · 19/02/2023 02:34

I can't stand them I don't think they look nice let alone practical or comfortable

Of course I don't care who wears them that is up to them

fuckupthenight · 19/02/2023 03:44

heels are so old fashioned, I’m surprised when I see women under about 50 wearing them

fuckupthenight · 19/02/2023 03:46

Nimbostratus100 · 18/02/2023 23:32

I hate them and hate seeing women wear them. A woman in heels is always less physically capable than a woman in flat shoes

They were originally military, to remain on your horse during cavalry charges - they became phetishised and used to disable women. - its gross

I can never feel the same respect for a woman if I see them wearing heels, whether they are an employee, a manager, or anything.

Why put on in item of clothing which has no function whatsoever except to disable the female wearer for the pleasure of the male observers?

phetishised 😂

MissMarplesbag · 19/02/2023 03:54

I went out for dinner in central London recently and saw 2 women in heels. Everyone else was wearing flats in different forms; trainers, shoes, brogues and ankle boots.

Startwithamimosa · 19/02/2023 05:46

fuckupthenight · 19/02/2023 03:44

heels are so old fashioned, I’m surprised when I see women under about 50 wearing them

You're obviously not out at 'da club' then 🤣

Fakecrazy · 19/02/2023 05:54

I have brogues, loafers, ballet flats, Chelsea boots. Can you please post links to your flats?

Nimbostratus100 · 19/02/2023 06:46

Busybutbored · 19/02/2023 00:25

Wow so extreme and a bit unhinged. I love heels on me and I love them on other women, why would you say they're only for men to look at. Such a weird comment 😕

Show quote history

an item of clothing designed to disable women for the viewing pleasure of men!

nothing "unhinged" about hating the very idea

and having no respect at all for any women who go along with it

I can run through in my head all the heel wearing managers in all the places I have ever worked. No respect at all for any of them! Thankfully, even when I started work 30 years ago, most women didnt wear them in my line of work ( education) so actually it was very few.

How any woman manager in a school with girls in, thinks they can parade around in heels and then expect any female student to listen to them about anything I just cant imagine. The very worst possible role model. Certainly these days, teenage girls realise that.

In my current school, no women wear heels. In my previous school, there was one, but she has since had a daughter, and changed her mind about whether heels are acceptable in the modern world. In previous schools, one or two women managers did, I still remember them with scorn

Nimbostratus100 · 19/02/2023 06:48

what I find surprising, is that there are still some women NOT outraged by the concept of heels

Lindsaylosing · 19/02/2023 06:51

spottie · 19/02/2023 00:09

The only people who wear heels nowadays are the women on the apprentice

Totally agree with this and the tailored tight-fitting office dresses that they wear. They all look so dated now, noone wears that look to the office anymore.

jays · 19/02/2023 06:55

Really sad to see such judgement and hate from women to other women for their fashion choices. No one is forcing anyone to wear heels and I can’t imagine not taking another woman seriously because of her choice of shoe.

jemimapuddlepluck · 19/02/2023 06:59

Nimbostratus100 · 19/02/2023 06:46

an item of clothing designed to disable women for the viewing pleasure of men!

nothing "unhinged" about hating the very idea

and having no respect at all for any women who go along with it

I can run through in my head all the heel wearing managers in all the places I have ever worked. No respect at all for any of them! Thankfully, even when I started work 30 years ago, most women didnt wear them in my line of work ( education) so actually it was very few.

How any woman manager in a school with girls in, thinks they can parade around in heels and then expect any female student to listen to them about anything I just cant imagine. The very worst possible role model. Certainly these days, teenage girls realise that.

In my current school, no women wear heels. In my previous school, there was one, but she has since had a daughter, and changed her mind about whether heels are acceptable in the modern world. In previous schools, one or two women managers did, I still remember them with scorn

Show quote history

I doubt they gave a shit 😊i certainly could not give a single fuck whether you respect women choosing to wear what they want. God, other people's insecurities blow my mind.
I love a heel but mainly to look at these days. I have some lovely pairs that I cannot part with even though I don't wear them any more.
Look for some nice chelsea boots and some nice ballet flats for summer op. I wear Doc Martins mainly these days, then straight into sandal/flip flops in summer 😁

Busybutbored · 19/02/2023 07:00

Nimbostratus100 · 19/02/2023 06:46

an item of clothing designed to disable women for the viewing pleasure of men!

nothing "unhinged" about hating the very idea

and having no respect at all for any women who go along with it

I can run through in my head all the heel wearing managers in all the places I have ever worked. No respect at all for any of them! Thankfully, even when I started work 30 years ago, most women didnt wear them in my line of work ( education) so actually it was very few.

How any woman manager in a school with girls in, thinks they can parade around in heels and then expect any female student to listen to them about anything I just cant imagine. The very worst possible role model. Certainly these days, teenage girls realise that.

In my current school, no women wear heels. In my previous school, there was one, but she has since had a daughter, and changed her mind about whether heels are acceptable in the modern world. In previous schools, one or two women managers did, I still remember them with scorn

Show quote history

I love heels, and I find it very sad that you would hate someone for wearing heels. I can run in my stilettos probably faster than you can in yiir flats, so I'm certainly not disabled. Did you have some sort of child hood incident with a heeled shoe or something to make you feel this way? That is really not a normal reaction. How do you feel about a low cut top or a g string bikini?

Busybutbored · 19/02/2023 07:02

jemimapuddlepluck · 19/02/2023 06:59

I doubt they gave a shit 😊i certainly could not give a single fuck whether you respect women choosing to wear what they want. God, other people's insecurities blow my mind.
I love a heel but mainly to look at these days. I have some lovely pairs that I cannot part with even though I don't wear them any more.
Look for some nice chelsea boots and some nice ballet flats for summer op. I wear Doc Martins mainly these days, then straight into sandal/flip flops in summer 😁

Show quote history

I agree re insecurities! So disturbing!!

Oysterbabe · 19/02/2023 07:03

They are awful, dump them. You'd never catch men wearing something so impractical.
Women wear shoes they can't walk in, clothes that don't keep them warm or dry, nails that make it difficult to use their hands properly etc etc. Fuck it all. It's time we stopped disabling ourselves for aesthetics.
This awful story highlighted the ridiculousness of them for me. Why do we wear shoes we can't run in?
www.standard.co.uk/news/london/london-bridge-terror-victim-slipped-in-high-heels-as-she-fled-attackers-and-was-stabbed-to-death-a4140946.html

ScarlettSunset · 19/02/2023 07:08

I couldn't wear anything like I used to these days, but I also can't wear flat shoes either, otherwise it aggravates my plantar fascitis. Boots with a smallish block heel are my shoe of choice now. A stable base and a bit of ankle support too!

jays · 19/02/2023 07:10

Oysterbabe · 19/02/2023 07:03

They are awful, dump them. You'd never catch men wearing something so impractical.
Women wear shoes they can't walk in, clothes that don't keep them warm or dry, nails that make it difficult to use their hands properly etc etc. Fuck it all. It's time we stopped disabling ourselves for aesthetics.
This awful story highlighted the ridiculousness of them for me. Why do we wear shoes we can't run in?
www.standard.co.uk/news/london/london-bridge-terror-victim-slipped-in-high-heels-as-she-fled-attackers-and-was-stabbed-to-death-a4140946.html

I think the blame lies with the attacker who stabbed her to death as opposed to her choice of footwear.

Oysterbabe · 19/02/2023 07:12

OF COURSE the blame lies with the attacker. The heels made her the weak animal in the pack, which she shouldn't be at 21. In flats she'd probably have got away. It's just an example of how heels disable us.

wyntersuhn · 19/02/2023 07:12

I haven't wore heels for years, they've always hurt my feet. I can do a wedge, and I have several pairs that I wear to work (occasionally) and out (very infrequently!), but other than that it's Birkenstocks or sandals in summer and Frankie4 flats or sneakers in winter. So much better for my feet!

WandaWonder · 19/02/2023 07:15

I won't comment on people's choice to wear them especially that I am sick of women complaining about the 'patriarchy' being in control yet women try and control other women's choices

But I don't get wear heels then need to carry a spare pair of shoes with you and complain to me your feet hurt and can't actually wall in them so need to lean on me or trip on me, yes has happened some times in the last few years.

Nimbostratus100 · 19/02/2023 07:16

are you laughing at my opinion or my spelling?

sometimes the word is spelt so badly wrong in my head that it is impossible to even look it up

😂