Please tell me menopause is nothing to be afraid of.

[enweto]

Lots of public discourse about it at the moment.
Not just Nicola Bulley, but also discussion about whether it should be classified as a protected characteristic, whether menopause leave should be a thing, posters up in the toilets in work about the menopause.

I swear I’m getting menopause anxiety!
I’m 38. Had a really horrible 6 years mental health wise, things weren’t great anyway but lockdown was so incredibly tough. I’m just crawling my way out of that cave and finding I’m starting to make progress and feeling better, but guess what’s coming for me in the next few years - sodding menopause. I don’t think I can take any more shit, I really don’t.

Please tell me it isn’t so bad?

I feel you. There's just so much talk around just now about the awfulness of menopause, I'm not surprised you're worried. However, it is NOT the same for everyone. How many women have you known with such bad period pains they have to call in sick? And how many that just feel under the weather? And how many who are completely unaffected? It's the same with menopause. Some women sail through it, some feel crappy, some feel terrible. For some it lasts a few months, for others it can last for up to 10 years (or so my doctor told me). Just wait and see, and take it as it comes. It's great having no periods!!!

I had what they call 'premature ovarian failure' at 36, and it basically wrecked my life for two years. I was sick constantly and had stomach issues. I lost four stone.
I am now 38 and everything has pretty much settled down.
I hope yours is better.

Having been one of those people that had no real issues with periods really, perimenopause started with minor symptoms that were manageable but become unbearable - mainly the hot flushes (such a ridiculously inadequate description) which were relentless all day long every 20 minutes. I couldn't focus on anything but the overwhelming heat through my body. I managed 2 weeks of it before going to the GP and begging / demanding HRT. Within a week it had stopped and life could continue. I had some hormonal mood swings / depression with it too but that has generally gone, and some dry skin issues and sleep disruption which continues but my DH also has sleep issues and I think it's more generally age related than specifically meno related. The heat was the worst thing by a long shot. My MIL had no issues with menopause at all.

If you do find yourself starting to suffer please do not hesitate to see your GP.

It was the same for me,something I hardly noticed.
My periods were horrendous and I was glad to see the back of them.

I hit peri just before 40. I went on hrt and antidepressant, feel good. Changed to mirena to stop periods as part of hrt.

I am 60 now and didn't notice the menopause much. A bit hot at night and a short brain fog period. Joints ache a bit more than they used to. I do wake up in the night now and never used to. Didn't take anything other than some vitamins and try to have a healthy diet. It's not all bad for everyone.

Not been bad for me at all. Had really awful day and night sweats but couldn’t take HRT (previous cancer). GP prescribed a separate medication for them which worked wonders and still does 6 or so years on.
I have had no other symptoms whatsoever. Similar story for the majority of my friends.

Menopause is temporary, like being a teenager, and age will rescue you. Bear that in mind.

It was not bad for me, stopped periods at 47 totally after a couple of years of heavier than normal. No requirement for HRT just got through the hot flushes at night. Out the other side now

each person is different, and there are million's of women going through it, you only hear of the worse cases

I'm 53 and part way through this. Missed about 3 periods last year. Then things went back to normal. But now I've been bleeding heavily for a week, and lightly for a few weeks before that (when my periods are normally 3 days). But, with no period pain, which normally would be very bad. Go figure.

Looking back, I think I had peri symptoms but just didn't recognise them as such. For eg. I had a year of having hot flushes, but it was that hot summer, and I just thought I was hot because of the weather. I had night sweats, but I have a lot of nightmares, so I just put it down to that. Also, not the best sleep for a few years, but again, thought it was just the nightmares. I never once thought back then that I was perimenopausal, and I felt very happy and upbeat the whole time.

I don't get any of that anymore. Apart from the bleeding, I'm really happy, sleeping well, no flushes or night sweats, so I think I'm at the last hurdle.

For those saying "just take HRT", it's really not that simple, because many GP's won't prescribe it. I had a call with my GP this week, to see if she felt I should go on to HRT, main symptoms just being I'm very achy. She said only 15% of women take it, and if possible I should try to avoid it and add supplements to my diet. I'm now taking 20mg Collagen, cod liver oil and vitamins every morning. So far, so good.

Can't wait for the periods to stop, it's going to be great!

I’ve just made an appt with the dr. 46 and my hair is thinning rapidly. It is easy to worry!

I was diagnosed at 36 with POF after years of struggling to get help from Gp's and was seriously ready to end my own life.
Now I'm on HRT and sertraline and have honestly never felt better.
I'm 40 now and will be on HRT until at least menopausal age of 51-53 to protect my heart, brain & bones.
It's all fine & well people stating eating better/exercises/getting more sleep but that can't and won't give your body the estrogen it needs to function the only way to replace depleted hormones is with hormones nothing else will work.
The thing that pisses me off is women had been made scared of HRT for decades and been told to avoid yet the Trans community can be pumped full of hormones no problem!
We've been shit on for years by (health care professionals & researchers) but all of a sudden it's fine to pump men full of estrogen & progesterone 😕

Menopause is when your periods finally stop, I think you might mean perimenopause which is the period of time, anywhere between a few years and a decade that happens when your hormones are in flux before finally shutting down/your period stops for good.

And no, it's nothing to be afraid of but it is different for everyone - some sail through it without issue, others, like me, have pretty much every issue, and many fall somewhere in the middle - there's no one size fits all experience.

Tbh, it's up to you to read up on it, know the signs and not be fobbed off should you find yourself having a tough time and your GP not be helpful.

I had a call with my GP this week, to see if she felt I should go on to HRT, main symptoms just being I'm very achy. She said only 15% of women take it, and if possible I should try to avoid it and add supplements to my diet.

God almighty. On what grounds did she say that? Has she read the NICE guidelines?

Anyway OP, I had some symptoms, nothing too awful, and all sorted with a bit of HRT although I could probably manage without it.

@roseberrycherry You need to be on HRT until you hit 50, if not longer. It is detrimental to your bone, brains and heart health for you to not be taking it.

Your symptoms have been returned because your hormones are still in flux, it's not uncommon for someone on HRT to need several revisions to their HRT dosage. Am appalled you have been left without any HRT - insist in getting this sorted pronto

Everyone’s experience is different however personally as a perimenopausal late 40’s I’d say horrific.

I was on HRT which was amazing. I liken it to having a Sports Massage you suddenly realise how you should be moving etc. My energy, mood, skin all lifted. My weight didn’t balloon. Basically amazing (this was private so far more involved than here’s a few patches I had testosterone too for example).

Sadly I developed a blood clot so am no longer allowed HRT and all the lethargy, weight gain mood issues are all back like a tsunami (this is why I found the reference to Nicola stopping HRT being so poignant as I get it!!!!)

I use exercise now and being very aware that hormones (or lack of) are behind my symptoms to keep perspective.

Omg yes the aching. I feel like I imagine a 90 year old lady feels everything aches (this totally disappeared for me whilst on HRT) 😏

I can't tell you there is nothing to worry about I'm afraid, I went quite mad during the menopause, my marriage split up, I put on 3 stone and couldn't cope with my job, any kind of relationship or friendship. I had brain fog, mood swings, drank too much and lost my temper all the time. Even on HRT. Thank God i'm through it now.

I honestly didn’t even notice it. Was running a business at the time and left to retrain as teacher and had no symptoms other than an occasional hot flush. No ‘brain fog’ etc.

It's been fine for me. ONLY symptom was relatively manageable hot flushes during menopause, getting much better now. No other symptoms, no weird heavy periods, moods, nothing.

Been fine for me , absolutely no issues at all aside from the odd hot flush .

You are young at 38 to worry - I was nearer 50 before it became an issue and I think that is common.

HRT was a life saver for my mental health. I could cope with the physical symptoms, but not the menopausal rage - I am usually pretty chill. With patches, all came back onto an even keel.

My advice is to take the help that is available, there are no prizes for a 'natural' menopause.

I'm 55 and going through it now, an occasional hot flush but that's it, I haven't noticed anything else, other than the obvious periods stopping. I've read they most people have very few symptoms. This is how the NHS manages to brush off so many of the women suffering. It really needs more research and funding.

Is your Mum still around? If so talk to her about how it was for her and when it was.

It is no guarantee but your Mum and other close female relatives are your best clues to what it will be like.

I was like you quite worried about it because of all of the awareness campaigns. My DH was probably more worried than me as he has dreadful memories of his own Mum's menopausal symptoms and the difficulties they caused at home.

My Mum actually brought it up without prompting and told me that she wasn't able to take HRT due to other medical conditions but her menopause had been relatively trouble free. She remembered being more short tempered and having irregular periods plus a few other minor irritating symptoms but nothing serious apart from a worsening of her existing medical condition. Apparently her Mum reckoned a baby and breastfeeding was the best 'treatment', she had a baby in her forties and her periods just never came back!

Osteoporosis is my greatest concern, I will probably start looking into HRT soon for that reason.

Didn't even notice it in my case other than periods stopping, no hot flushes, no mood swings, no nothing. Some women suffer some don't with a full variety of symptoms in between

Same here. Never taken HRT. No symptoms whatever.