Please tell me menopause is nothing to be afraid of.

[enweto]

Lots of public discourse about it at the moment.
Not just Nicola Bulley, but also discussion about whether it should be classified as a protected characteristic, whether menopause leave should be a thing, posters up in the toilets in work about the menopause.

I swear I’m getting menopause anxiety!
I’m 38. Had a really horrible 6 years mental health wise, things weren’t great anyway but lockdown was so incredibly tough. I’m just crawling my way out of that cave and finding I’m starting to make progress and feeling better, but guess what’s coming for me in the next few years - sodding menopause. I don’t think I can take any more shit, I really don’t.

Please tell me it isn’t so bad?

I’m 56, periods stopped completely 2 years ago. Occasional night sweats, mild achy pains, middle age spread, so not too bad so far. Always been a grumpy mare so can’t blame that on the menopause!
Have noticed that my nails are really brittle and break quite far down the nail so I’ve just started taking a nail supplement but I’m not on any HRT or anything else.

I'm single and I also used to think about sex all the time. Now I don't, either. It's bloody great as far as I'm concerned.

I'm 50 and about 2 years into peri. I hadn't recognised my symptoms as menopausal as it wasn't the traditional hot flushes. I had low mood, insomnia, tinnitus, loss of libido, recurrent UTIs, joint pains. It was the Davina programme that made me realise these were peri symptoms and that there was no shame in using HRT. I'm 18 months into HRt and most of my symptoms have decreased or disappeared. They did come back when we had the shortage last summer, so I know the HRT is definitely helping.

Mine was physically a walk in the park but mentally a bit of a car crash - terrible mood swings and anxiety. As pp said different for every woman.

For anyone who has been through it, did you have the same experience as your mum?

My mum had a relatively easy menopause (according to her, but I disagree re her mood)! She said she had no physical symptoms at all.

We have the exact same gynae history - our periods started at the same age, to the exact month. Same number of children and birth experiences. Even had the same pregnancy unusual complication in one pregnancy.

I found the peri years, 42 to 50 the worst. I was emotional, angry, fat and tired a lot of the time.
Wish that I'd recognised it for what it was and taken HRT, or at least made lifestyle changes.
From 50, I started to look after myself with a great diet, rest and excercise and from there on it was plain sailing. In the last few years before meno finally happened and now, post, I've never felt (or looked) better. I take HRT now but only for my bones, i don't really need it.
I'm 53 with a BMI of 21 and a 24" waist. No menopausal belly. I have no aches or pains. My hair is thick and shiny and my skin smooth and clear. I obviously have signs of aging, but as a lifelong sunworshipper, that's no surprise and meno made it no worse. HRT has improved it actually.
I sleep well, 9 hours a night, and have loads of energy. No brain fog, and so much calmer and relaxed than when I had all those hormonal highs and lows.
I know some women suffer horribly, but menopause has been very kind to me.

It varies a lot.
I had horrid hot flushes, mainly at night, for about 4 or 5 years but nothing else. I didn't get on with HRT so decided just to put up with it, and whilst I still get the odd hot flush they are rare now. But that was it, no other symptoms that I really noticed. My periods just became less regular then stopped, but they didn't change in heaviness or anything.
I'd say that I am now healthier mentally and physically than I was when I was younger, but that's probably because I have stopped working and have time to excercise, cook healthy meals and so on. But my post menopausal existence is a happy one - I'm really enjoying life at the moment in fact.
Not that I am trying to minimise the very real problems that some women have, just to say that not everyone does. So do arm yourself with knowledge, but don't assume the worst.

It was pretty awful for me. Sorry.
Insomnia, hot flushes, intolerance to sugar, exhaustion due to poor sleep, loss of muscle mass, moody, mental fog, joint pain/injuries.
But all of it improved with HRT, a year on and the muscle mass is still an issue but the rest is good. If I’d had hrt earlier it would have been easier. So yes, it can be shit but lots can be done.

So I'm also 38 and been thinking the same lines at OP... feel like after PND at 31 that seemed to last for a bout 3 years then Covid, that at the moment I feel ok! So worried about this next phase of potential hormonal shitness.

But also not sure if im already experiencing peri symptoms.

My periods still regular but has gone from 5 days to 3, now only 2 in the past year.
I do keep getting very hot and I feel like I sweat a lot more then I ever have done before but not hot flushes ( I had ivf so know what a hot flush feels like)
I have zero sex drive.
Sleep isn't as good as it used to be but put that down to just being more alert since have DD so any noise wakes me up.

Anyway could be completely wrong but not sure if it's worth seeing a dr or not!

I'm 52 and until last week hadn't had a period for 4 months. I'm loving this stage of life, and have more energy than I've had for years. I've also lost loads of weight over the last couple of years and am now back to weighing what I did in my 20s. I get hot flushes and night sweats (seem to have a spate of them for a few weeks and then nothing for a while). I first noticed my periods changing about 6 years ago (heavier and more frequent for a few years, then increasingly erratic and generally much lighter). My hair has got thinner, and I've had symptoms which I have subsequently associated with peri (itchy skin, tinnitus) but which I didn't at the time... like the hot flushes, the tinnitus flares up from time to time, and it's actually reassuring to know its probably related to hormonal changes and not something I'll be stuck with forever. No HRT, and no intention of trying it - wouldn't touch hormonal contraception with a barge pole either and generally reluctant to mess with my body's natural processes, so probably not topical in that respect - but honestly haven't felt the need, and bit finding any of my 'symptoms' problematic.

I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure at 34! I'm now 37 and the last couple of years have been really tough, I've been on HRT for three years but the dose is being reviewed as all my symptoms have come back tenfold. Mentally I feel really fragile, I ran out of medication for a couple of weeks and I definitely felt 10x worse. Everyone is different, so they will all have different experiences.

Personally if feel my mood has been awful since menopause. Constantly flat and negative . My mind is scattier than it's ever been. The anxiety is off the scale. I used to be able to drive the length and breadth of the country without a second thought now I break out in cold sweats on the shortest journeys

I was doing so well with proofreading until the end of that ... typical, not topical, not, not bit

I'm post meno and 54. I have achy joints, that's all.

Mine had a total hysterectomy at the age of 30 so I had nothing to compare mine with. I did, however, start menopause very young (peri at 38), and my DD who is now 30 has been told by her doctor that she will likely be the same.

Having said all that my Nana was 42 when she pregnant with my mum and my Gran was close to 40 and both my sisters started menopause in their late 40's. Not sure how me and DD came to be different on that score.

It's impossible to answer OP. It's not a one size fits all thing. I don't suffer from mental health issues and work hard to stay fit but my patience is shorter, I'm tricky to be around the week before a period, whenever the fucker wants to show up so tend to stay out the way. I put up with no shit anymore. The sweats, joint pain and itchy skin/fanny dry thing is driving me batshit though.

*my Gran was close to 40 when she had my Aunt.

What's the best thing to take for achy joints?

And I get brain farts, like forgetting I need to use the clutch the change gear 🙄i take creatine as its apparently good for brain health.

My hair has got thinner,

Mine was a thick, curly, unruly mess at 38....22 years later it still is.

Interesting, thanks @GotABeatForYouMama

As pp's - it is going to be different for everyone, just like monthly periods, or pregnancy. Neither of which I really ever had any issues with.

I got to 55 before really noticing anything annoying, and then only night sweats, heavier periods, and anxiety. I have always been an anxious person anyway, so even that was not totally abnormal for me. Also still having regular periods, so again, nothing really to note, other than the severity increasing.

I have however gone onto HRT and noticed subtle changes for the better. All things being equal I will probably stay on it for a few years, and then assume I am though.

HRT works for a lot of women. Otherwise, Collagen and cod liver oil. Diet high in good fats. Also, check how you're moving. If you run or even walk briskly make sure you're moving properly and your footwear is cushioned. All the pounding of pavements doesn't help.

Pregnancy is a good comparison as someone mentioned.
Some women have a very easy pregnancy. Most have some symptoms but not too bad. A small number of women have a horrible pregnancy.

Just be aware of it and act sooner rather than later. Perimenopause crept up on me slowly, so much so that I didn't realise it and it was my new (miserable) normal. Fertility blood tests at 38 showed lowering oestrogen but it wasn't until 45 after watching the Davina programme that it all clicked into place. Started HRT patches 18 months ago and honestly it's been life changing, I've got me back. Still having regular periods so I think actual menopause is some way off but the symptoms I had of low mood, rage, intrusive thoughts, brain fog, night sweats (no hot flushes) have all gone/much diminished. I plan to stay on it forever, oestrogen is so important to so many things in our bodies and I don't plan on being without it!