To think dp is too harsh on 2yr old?

[Whoissit]

Please help me settle the never ending debate, sleep.

I'm perfectly fine with being told I'm the one being unreasonable but I really don't think I am.

Dp has become increasingly frustrated with dc, who is 2yrs 3months, not being able to fall asleep on his own. I keep telling him he has unrealistic expectations that aren't fair to put on dc given his age. That I remember my parents sitting with me reading a book, singing, or rubbing my head until I fell asleep in primary school. I'm getting annoyed at the constant arguments we are having about it because dp thinks dc should be able to lie down at night and just go to sleep on his own. I don't think it's unnatural for him to need soothing/comforting at night.

Once dc is asleep he may way once or twice, most the time he sleeps the whole night through.

Dp thinks I'm being too soft on him and wants to let him cry it out. I generally don't believe in doing that unless it's crucial, example being we are sleep deprived or he is. I think it's drastic measures and causes unnecessary stress to dc.

So who is being unreasonable here? It's our first child. Maybe 2 year olds all do just go to sleep on their own without a problem and I'm pandering....

A pp specifically said that only they are able to settle the child, I don't think that is healthy for a number of reasons, it sounds as if many posters are doing it fortheir own benefit not the childs. For me its a big reason why I believe DC should be able to self settle.

I would be more than happy to lay with the DC if they were upset or unwell etc but I just feel they should be able to get to sleep themselves also.

@cheatingcrackers oh sorry maybe I misunderstood you then. I thought you had to lie down with your nine year old every night so they would fall asleep. My nine year old loves to come in the bed now and again (mainly to watch a big of tv but still 🙈). But he goes to bed by himself perfectly well the rest of the time. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

This .. my dd never needed soothing but if she wakes up in the night she's impossible to go back to sleep without soothing!!

each to their own but think that’s madness but I have a 9 year old who’d wonder what was going on if I sat with him to fall asleep. He brushes his teeth and reads his book for a bit then goes over. I pop in and say night and thats it.

id feel like I was babying him if I were to lie with him

No worries! 🙂

My eldest didn't go to sleep on his own until he was about 3 and a half - at 2 I'd be in there, just sat in the dark (not even touching him, just there) for up to an hour, then have to ninja out of the room so he didn't wake (he was similar as a baby - I learned how to lie completely still as any movement and he woke up)

Then suddenly, like a switch, it was bedtime story, tuck him in, and almost by the time I'd got to the lightswitch to turn it off, he was asleep. Nothing I did, nothing I changed, just something clicked in him.

My youngest never needed me in there at all, but then it's different when they're sharing with a sibling I think.

My 2.5 year old mostly goes to sleep on her own- she will go upstairs, get changed, teeth, wee, story (or 6) another wee, then she gets to choose a tonie to put on the box- has her multiple stuffed toys and goes to sleep within 10minutes of us leaving the room... if she won't go down hubby lies on the floor for 10minutes and she falls asleep (often peace for me as he falls asleep and reappears an hour later)....

He sounds horrible and I would resent him. No way would my child be left to cry.