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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I being over sensitive?

177 replies

wellieson · 16/02/2023 19:42

I don't mind little digs and people taking the piss. But my husband recently said a few things in front of people and I felt humiliated. One example:

I was saying my younger sister (she is 24, I am 36) is into the 'love island' look and recently got her lips and botox done, that it looks awful and she doesn't need it. Also that she posts lots of bikini pictures on instagram.
She is thin, I am overweight. Husband said, to a dinner table full of people, "sounds like you're just jealous".

AIBU? Am I just over sensitive and this kind of banter is ok?

OP posts:
JammyDodgerrr · 16/02/2023 19:54

No it's not ok. Its showing you up in front of other people so if he thought you might be jealous he could maybe of mentioned it privately.. But bitching about your sister at a dinner table full of people is kind of wrong as well.

Zippidydoda · 16/02/2023 20:49

Exactly what @JammyDodgerrr said. He was out of order to make that comment, but maybe it was in reaction to you being unkind about your sister. The fact you needed to specify your age and body shape and had to talk about you sisters appearance to others suggests he might actually be on to something no?

Abba123 · 16/02/2023 20:56

You were being a b1tch to be fair.

It isn’t nice when your husband puts you in your place in front of people, but sometimes it’s the only way to make others stop and think.

Saying those things about your sister in front of a table full of people… maybe you are just jealous if you think about it.

What about you? What’s wrong with your face? Speak about yourself, always.

I’m sorry that you’re overweight and she’s thin. I hope you find a way to love yourself more and hate on others less.

Nimbostratus100 · 16/02/2023 20:57

It sounds like his comment was fair enough, but it would have been better not in front of every one else

But so would your comments have been

AnneLovesGilbert · 16/02/2023 21:00

What a horrible way to talk about your sister. People sitting around the table will have wondered what you say about them behind their backs.

NewbieSM · 16/02/2023 21:01

Nope I agree with your husband, you do sound jealous. If you're happy to serve up nasty comments then you should be able take being called out on them. Next time, if you haven't got anything nice to say then say nothing.

Keyansier · 16/02/2023 21:06

Just to be clear: Did you verbalise your opinion about your sister at said same dinner party, in a room full of people?

Bananamilkshakewirthcream · 16/02/2023 21:06

Why were you slagging off your sister in front of people?

afinishedkiss · 16/02/2023 21:07

That is not ok.

Cosycover · 16/02/2023 21:08

I think you are jealous

Undermyumberellaellaella · 16/02/2023 21:08

So you can slag your sister off in front of people but he can't say something back?

Neither were okay but it sounds like he was just sticking up for her.

Maybe start being kinder.

afinishedkiss · 16/02/2023 21:09

Shit I missed the part where you were pulling your sister apart at the dinner table. Mortified for you.

MargaretThursday · 16/02/2023 21:10

You'd have made me very uncomfortable saying that sort of thing about your sister, even if I didn't know her.
I'd have been thinking the same as your dh said too.

JMSA · 16/02/2023 21:10

I don't mean this at all cruelly OP, but I think you got what you deserved a bit. Even if I thought that about my sister, I couldn't say it in front of others because of my loyalty to her.

Quitelikeit · 16/02/2023 21:12

What must the others have thought of your comments?

MamaCanYouBuyMeABanana · 16/02/2023 21:12

You got a taste of what you were dishing out.

Why were you slagging your sister off at a dinner party?

bloodyplanes · 16/02/2023 22:20

He is right, you do sound jealous.

SpinningFloppa · 17/02/2023 01:16

I agree with him

GLADragss · 17/02/2023 01:19

It’s not banter. You were behaving badly at dinner by bitching about your sister in front of others. Your husband tried to end the conversation and gave you a taste of your own medicine. You’re hypocritical by being offended.

foulksmills · 17/02/2023 01:23

I think what he said was quite mild tbh.

Hankunamatata · 17/02/2023 01:48

So you ripped your sister apart at the dinner table, any chance he said it just to shut you up as he was getting embarrassed about you being so mean about your own sister

OnlyFannys · 17/02/2023 02:03

I agree with others, you were being horrible about your sister and from what you say it does come across as jealousy. I think he was right to call you out on it, you dont really have a moral high ground here

ConcordeOoter · 17/02/2023 02:12

I was saying my younger sister (she is 24, I am 36) is into the 'love island' look and recently got her lips and botox done, that it looks awful and she doesn't need it. Also that she posts lots of bikini pictures on instagram.
She is thin, I am overweight.

I'm afraid it does sound like you're just jealous.

By making an honest joke of it at the right moment, and probably trying to change the subject from you calling your own sister a skinny bitch to all and sundry, DH may have diffused the cringe for you, him and everyone else.

barmycatmum · 17/02/2023 04:08

I mean, you were tearing someone apart behind their back, were you not?

JunkinDonuts · 17/02/2023 04:41

They were probably thinking how glad they were that you're not their sister!
I agree with your husband.