What did she want people to do?

[SkivingSnackboxes]

Recently went to spectate at a sporting event and we got on the tram to get there. It was rammed, we expected it to be rammed. It's a busy event.

The tram was standing room only, and it was busy Ie sardines.

This pregnant woman was standing in the middle of the aisle she wouldn't move further down so there was a huge gap behind her. She didn't look that pregnant tbh, she kept shouting. im pregnant, I need space, you all need to back off, I'm pregnant I need a seat im pregnant I can't be touched
The only people sat down were kids and old people and the families didn't offer her a seat. The guard came down and told her she needed to move down into the gap or get off. She decided to get off and then asked if the trams were going to be busy all day?

She genuinely wanted random strangers to not go to the rugby because she enforced a halo of 'im pregnant and no one can be near me'

Surely if you're that precious about being pregnant you'd get a taxi?

It isn't about entitled, it's about common decency. If I was 8 months pregnant and I asked if any one would give me a seat, I wouldn't expect anyone to explain why they wouldn't, but statistically you know there's someone there now able to stand than you in that moment so it's a collective "it's sad we don't care more these days" thank "that birch in the green coat wincing every time she moved should have stood".

However, I do think some people just like to martyr themselves. Oh I was rolling on the floor, hyperventilating, sweating and pregnant but I had to be forced to accept a seat from someone who finally noticed my name because I'd never ASK anytime for help. I'd be prepared to give birth right there on the floor with narry a tissue from a stranger to mop my brow!!"

@SleepingStandingUp LOL don't be dramatic, I was far from rolling on the floor, just sat down by the doors. If I'd been 8 months I doubt I would have been able to get down there...and someone would have noticed my bump before that with any luck and offered me a seat. I was visibly "feeling sick" ie presenting in a not normal way, and plenty of people glanced up before that chap saw me on the floor...and glanced back down. Fair dos, bet you were all knackered after a long day.

It IS about decency, but that means relying on the people around you to be willing to inconvenience themselves for you..and no one has to do that. Certainly not to the point where you make an entitled scene on the tram about "not being touched".

In this case, I think she was rather entitled, to the point where she got off the tram because she didn't get her own way, when all she had to do was move down!

How is getting off the tram 'entitled'? Would just waiting for another one to come along be 'entitled' too, if she could tell before she got on that there were no seats available, and didn't fancy a fruitless search for a seat among the scrum? Would that be sensible, or too delicate and princessy for your taste?
You don't know her needs. You're simply assuming a flounce.

@DahliaMacNamara

"she wouldn't move further down so there was a huge gap behind her. She didn't look that pregnant tbh, she kept shouting. im pregnant, I need space, you all need to back off, I'm pregnant I need a seat im pregnant I can't be touched"

We were asked what we thought about this woman on the tram. This behaviour is entitled.

I neither know nor care about her needs, She could have saved herself getting off the tram if she had just moved down - but chose to get off rather than be a tiny bit accommodating to all the other people trying to get on.

Actually just realising what a selfish double standard she wanted - I want everyone to leave lots of space around me, whilst you all shove up together like sardines, because I don't want to move and make more space for everyone. Sounds even worse now, thinking about it like that.

This thread is extraordinary - more cruelty directed at a pregnant woman and more name calling. It just seems self-evident to me that someone should have given her a seat. And that the guard should have encouraged this. All the hundreds of posts debating whether small vulnerable children should be required to given up their seats for pregnant women are completely missing the point. Why is the debate about children who are also often small and vulnerable? In my experience most sports fans, including Rugby fans, are male. But there is an avoidance, in this thread, of a debate about men who do not give up their seats for pregnant women. It's often a hard call for men - offering a seat to women who they think might be pregnant - as it is for everyone. But surely there would have been more men than children or families sitting down on this tram that none of us were travelling on? Surely one of them could have quietly offered the pregnant woman a seat? Surely the priority is not policing her behaviour, which was probably quite irritating for everyone, but doing what is right, quietly and without fuss. In my experience it is usually women who notice a pregnant woman who is standing and who offer them a seat. The is probably because they might have been pregnant themselves. But in my experience, men who are quietly and politely asked to give up their seat will do so. They just often haven't notices the pregnant woman or a worried about doing the wrong thing. It's not hard to stand on a tram for most of us. But I would guess that it was potentially damaging for one, nameless unborn child and their mother. I just don't understand the unpleasantness of the original post and many of the other posts on this thread.

@SuchandSuchandSuch it’s completely logical that able bodied adults and older children should give up seats to those more vulnerable.

Don’t forget though that we have the daily mail contingent on here these days who actually hate women and young children and see them as an inconvenience.

Yes @Teateaandmoretea it's so depressing isn't it.

@LouDeLou No one is entitled to a seat over anyone else, even pregnant women...

Of course they are. If is a widely accepted social norm that pregnant women, elderly, those less able to stand or those holding young babies are more entitled to a seat. Only an absolute arsehole denies that.
There are signs all over public transport stating that very thing!

@Swiftswatch, the poster says there was only elderly and kids seated?

Being pregnant can make you feel vulnerable. Maybe she was comfortable where she was standing, maybe she had something to hold onto where she was and was worried about losing the space and potentially losing her balance when the tram started moving. She was just being protective of her baby and not wanting to risk any harm. Surprised the guard didn't try to find her a seat or somewhere she could stand more comfortably without being bang in the middle of a crowded tram. She could have health issues associated with her pregnancy such as dizziness, high or low blood pressure, perhaps she had no choice but to travel that day and couldn't afford any other method of transport. We have no idea what was going on in her life really so unfair to speculate.

Absolutely this. I’m astonished not one of them
offered up their seat. What a bunch of arseholes.

Agree. Total bunch of arseholes. Why did no-one give this woman a seat?

Why did no-one give this woman a seat?

Probably because it didn't happen. The OP claims the only people sitting down were children and elderly. On a tram full of rugby supporters. Yeah right 😏

Definitely did happen. Maybe they weren't elderly as in infirm but they were certainly over 70. Are over 70s not allowed to go to the rugby? It was absolutely rammed. Entirely full of rugby fans. There was no space to move at all. Sardines etc. it was very very full and she wouldn't move up hence why she was asked to get off by the train staff because they could get more on without her on the train. She created a good amount of space around her but that's not fair on a match day train.

Maybe I was harsh to judge but We're talking a massive scene when she was shouting about how pregnant she was. Whilst wearing a rugby top so she was clearly going to the rugby too!!!

OP, you’re now saying she was clearly going to the rugby as she was also wearing a rugby top? But in your OP you say that she decided to go off and asked if the trams were going to be full all day, as well as that she genuinely wanted random strangers to not go to the rugby… sounds very odd! Was she really wearing a rugby top and clearly going to? Or was she really asking and expecting the above as mentioned in your OP?

@Gem123J yes she was wearing a rugby top. I assume she got a taxi when she was removed from the train.

So they were able to make all that space around her but no on thought to ask someone to give up their seat for her? A carriage full of dickheads.

A train FULL of over 70s sitting down on rugby day? You’re backtracking, OP, because you know you were mean to her.

Whilst wearing a rugby top so she was clearly going to the rugby too!!!

That's one massive drip feed or a blatant lie! (You decide)

Yes, all of a sudden she was also off to the rugby, although she questioned whether the trams will be full all day, considering she was well aware of the rugby so should know right? And wanting some of the rugby attendees to get off the tram, when she now is one of them herself. I am baffled.

I live about a mile from both the local football ground (Premier League) and rugby ground (top league, too) as well as the county cricket ground being within very easy walking distance. I NEVER know when a game is being played at any of them, so why would this woman? Not everyone is interested in men messing around with balls.

OP has just dropped the bomb that the woman she’s referring to was also attending the rugby, even though she wasn’t aware of the trams being busy all day because of the rugby. Which seems very strange. It’s not me saying the woman should be aware of the trams being busy, it’s the confusing, contradicting statement OP is saying agains the woman.

Sorry! I didn't think you had, this just popped into my email and I wrote a comment without scrolling back (bit stupid of me). No reason why a pregnant woman should not go to a rugby match, though it's a bit late to add at this point in the thread? Why not at the beginning? And why did none of those rugby types give her a seat, anyway?

Exactly. I think OP is just trying to put the blame on the woman but ultimately it’s OP in the wrong for being so harsh on the woman, and for those who didn’t stand up so the woman could sit down. I find it impossible that everyone that did have a seat were either old or young so were entitled to a seat themselves, just another reach for justification by OP.

Exactly.

Horrible position to be in.