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AIBU?

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Original poster

What did she want people to do?

576 replies

SkivingSnackboxes · 16/02/2023 05:35

Recently went to spectate at a sporting event and we got on the tram to get there. It was rammed, we expected it to be rammed. It's a busy event.

The tram was standing room only, and it was busy Ie sardines.

This pregnant woman was standing in the middle of the aisle she wouldn't move further down so there was a huge gap behind her. She didn't look that pregnant tbh, she kept shouting. im pregnant, I need space, you all need to back off, I'm pregnant I need a seat im pregnant I can't be touched
The only people sat down were kids and old people and the families didn't offer her a seat. The guard came down and told her she needed to move down into the gap or get off. She decided to get off and then asked if the trams were going to be busy all day?

She genuinely wanted random strangers to not go to the rugby because she enforced a halo of 'im pregnant and no one can be near me'

Surely if you're that precious about being pregnant you'd get a taxi?

OP posts:
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Ursuladevinia82 · 16/02/2023 05:36

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Idontgiveagriffindamn · 16/02/2023 05:41

Im guessing she wanted someone to offer her a seat but no one did.
Being pregnant l, stood up on a crammed train is not a pleasant experience. You get bumped and jostled.

Original poster
SkivingSnackboxes · 16/02/2023 05:41

@Ursuladevinia82 I'm not stewing just pondering. Am I allowed to do that or must every post on Mumsnet need to happen within a certain period? Perhaps you could apply to Mumsnet to be their independent advisor on whether something has been 'too long' to be posted

OP posts:
WeAreTheHeroes · 16/02/2023 05:44

Maybe she wasn't feeling too good and couldn't afford a taxi. Crap that no one offered her a seat.

Ursuladevinia82 · 16/02/2023 05:45

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Suzi888 · 16/02/2023 05:48

It certainly doesn’t sound like normal behaviour, being pregnant isn’t a passport to be a dick!

Original poster
SkivingSnackboxes · 16/02/2023 05:48

I just thought it was a bit pathetic if I'm honest. Why get On an absolutely rammed tram and then get all ridiculous about people touching you? She should have just got a taxi.

OP posts:
aonbharr · 16/02/2023 05:55

When (I used) to be pregnant a few times, I always found that people would offer me places in queues and on seats and I would always refuse and thank them, until the single day I thought I was going to pass out in midsummer and overdue; I think it is kind, some people feel it hard at particular stages or due to pregnancy related complications, blood pressure, bladder or weight of bump and fluid gain and I would have offered her a seat, regardless. It is one of life's kindnesses.

Festivfrenzy · 16/02/2023 05:55

Sounds like she was having MH issues - hopefully she found a seat with some peace and quiet on the next train x

Nimbostratus100 · 16/02/2023 06:02

This is weird, you have no idea at all what she was feeling, she made it abundantly clear that she wasnt coping with standing- none of us know why. She very possibly couldnt move down, there are all sorts of problems she might have been suffering from, we know nothing about.

Shr wasnt being pathetic, she simply wasnt able to cope with the situation, and was articulating that

Why didnt anyone offer her a seat?

I think it pretty appalling, to be honest. She made it quite clear she needed to sit down, I think it is therefore highly likely that she needed to sit down, and instead, she gets people calling her pathetic!

mountsleepyhead · 16/02/2023 06:07

Hmmm she sounds a little dramatic but I get very light headed (low bloody pressure) in pregnancy and need to sit down quite quickly, she may have been panicked? Which I kind of get. She should have just asked someone directly for a seat than asking the whole carriage.

plumduck · 16/02/2023 06:12

SkivingSnackboxes · 16/02/2023 05:48

I just thought it was a bit pathetic if I'm honest. Why get On an absolutely rammed tram and then get all ridiculous about people touching you? She should have just got a taxi.

Maybe it wasn't as rammed when she got on?
Maybe someone had jostled her and it gave her a fright?
Maybe she had no idea rugby was on? It seems fair enough to ask if it was expected to be this level of people all day so she could plan to get a taxi back or something.
As for seeming pathetic- pregnancy affects everyone differently.

Ursuladevinia82 · 16/02/2023 06:15

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MiddleParking · 16/02/2023 06:16

I mean, it seems like a straightforward case of she should have been offered a seat and wasn’t by inconsiderate rugbygoers and their children? “Not looking that pregnant” has absolutely nothing to do with it. I felt at my illest in pregnancy before I ever had a bump.

quinceh · 16/02/2023 06:20

Agree she may have just panicked. Lol at the assumption that anyone can afford taxis anywhere.

MenoEek · 16/02/2023 06:23

Surprised the guard didn’t help her get a seat.

Nimbostratus100 · 16/02/2023 06:24

MenoEek · 16/02/2023 06:23

Surprised the guard didn’t help her get a seat.

They certainly should have done, quite shocking that they didnt

autienotnaughty · 16/02/2023 06:26

It's hard to say, everyone handles things differently and she was obviously struggling, she could have panicked that she might get crushed and lose her baby. She might have miscarried before. That doesn't make her pathetic. The kindest thing would have been for someone to offer her a seat. We went away when I was 8m pregnant and used the tram a lot I was offered a seat every single time. None of this affected you tho, you did your journey.

ZekeZeke · 16/02/2023 06:26

She got on when it was less full I imagine.

She should have been given a seat.

stealthninjamum · 16/02/2023 06:27

I think when you’re pregnant on a moving train or bus you might be worried that if it brakes suddenly people bump into you.

DDoOneRon · 16/02/2023 06:27

She should have just flown in her helicopter.

MiddleParking · 16/02/2023 06:28

MenoEek · 16/02/2023 06:23

Surprised the guard didn’t help her get a seat.

One shrugged his shoulders at me in similar circumstances (I wasn’t making a fuss, but I did tell him I was pregnant and felt unwell and couldn’t get to a seat because it was so busy and he refused to help.) Another passenger intervened on my behalf. Maybe OP could do the same next time she sees a pregnant woman in distress and no one offering her a seat.

blackteaplease · 16/02/2023 06:29

I travelled on a packed tube during the London Olympics at 7 months pregnant and it was horrible. I expected it to be packed, I'd been on packed transport before. I hadn't done it while pregnant as I don't live in London. I felt so vulnerable and anxious the entire time.

The point I'm trying to make is that the woman in the OP may have been overwhelmed but couldn't have anticipated she would act that way

Luredbyapomegranate · 16/02/2023 06:29

Who knows, maybe she is a bit nuts or having a bad day or feeling really ill.

If there was anyone sitting down who looked like they could give up a seat, what you could have done that would have been useful, is asked if they would give her their seat. People do often need prompting.

Zippidydoda · 16/02/2023 06:30

I can’t believe no one offered her a seat. A/ because being pregnant you are more likely to feel nauseous, over heat etc and b/ to avoid her getting an elbow in the stomach or knocked about. I mean maybe she should have just directly asked someone, but it’s a shame none of the older children couldn’t give up their seat. I remember bussing back from my first scan with my first and I had to stand, almost fainted….I didn’t look pregnant at all that that point.

Maybe she was anxious about being in such a crowded space. Thing is she was probably off to work or somewhere she needed to go and it’s not like you can just not go places when you’re pregnant.

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