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Original poster

What did she want people to do?

576 replies

SkivingSnackboxes · 16/02/2023 05:35

Recently went to spectate at a sporting event and we got on the tram to get there. It was rammed, we expected it to be rammed. It's a busy event.

The tram was standing room only, and it was busy Ie sardines.

This pregnant woman was standing in the middle of the aisle she wouldn't move further down so there was a huge gap behind her. She didn't look that pregnant tbh, she kept shouting. im pregnant, I need space, you all need to back off, I'm pregnant I need a seat im pregnant I can't be touched
The only people sat down were kids and old people and the families didn't offer her a seat. The guard came down and told her she needed to move down into the gap or get off. She decided to get off and then asked if the trams were going to be busy all day?

She genuinely wanted random strangers to not go to the rugby because she enforced a halo of 'im pregnant and no one can be near me'

Surely if you're that precious about being pregnant you'd get a taxi?

OP posts:
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DrHousecuredme · 16/02/2023 06:33

She sounds very anxious or perhaps feeling unwell. Not sure why one of the kids sitting down didn't give her their seat, they really should have done especially as it was obvious she was struggling.
Poor woman, miserable journey home and now she has strangers calling her pathetic on a public forum, I hope she's ok.

notacooldad · 16/02/2023 06:35

I wouldnt call her pathetic.
I dont know her story or background.
She may well have been a drama queen or there she could have poor m h.
She may have had a history of losing babies and is frightened to death if being pushed. There could be many reasons that we dont know about. I get it can be annoying for other people but its just as well to let things go.

Crumpetdisappointment · 16/02/2023 06:37

i commuted while very pregnant, crowds of people, you may or may not get a seat but you still have to cope with the crowds of people trying to get on the tube, i think your baby is protected though, life has to go on

webuiltthiscityonrockandwheat · 16/02/2023 06:42

When I live in Moscow my friend got on the underground with his pregnant sister and an old lady hit a younger man with her umbrella until he gave up his seat. Sometimes people need prompting, someone should have let her sit down

Tubs11 · 16/02/2023 06:45

I actually can't believe someone didn't give up their seat to a pregnant lady, who was clearly struggling for whatever reason, and was then made to get off a train. Are you telling me that a packed carriage was that gormless? What is the world coming to when we're lacking such basic manners and to assume she should just get a taxi if mind boggling 🙄

Crumpetdisappointment · 16/02/2023 06:47

the parents of the children should have stepped in

GoodChat · 16/02/2023 06:48

How does a guard manage to get down a tram where passengers are packed in like sardines?

Somebody should have spoken up for her and asked if anyone was able to give up a seat as she was clearly uncomfortable.

pictoosh · 16/02/2023 06:52

Well I agree with you even if no one else does. She's pregnant, not special and precious and to be obeyed.
Of course this is mumsnet where pregnant women are to be positively exalted.

pictoosh · 16/02/2023 06:53

"I'm pregnant and I can't be touched."
That's a new one.

JenniferBarkley · 16/02/2023 06:53

A bit of jostling on a packed train won't do the baby any harm, so presumably she had some reason to feel particularly anxious - previous lots, rhesus negative, good old fashioned anxiety. Presumably she didn't know the rugby was on and hadn't realised the train would be busy. The parents really should've made the kids share seats so she could sit down.

Mariposa26 · 16/02/2023 06:53

“Not looking that pregnant” has nothing to do with it. I’m 34 weeks and somehow barely look pregnant, but can hardly walk or stand for long periods of time due to pain and nausea. Terrible that nobody offered her a seat and that people like you don’t have basic empathy.

JenniferBarkley · 16/02/2023 06:54

pictoosh · 16/02/2023 06:52

Well I agree with you even if no one else does. She's pregnant, not special and precious and to be obeyed.
Of course this is mumsnet where pregnant women are to be positively exalted.

Nah, pregnant women and new mothers are treated like crap on MN. Pregnancy isn't an illness etc etc.

Mariposa26 · 16/02/2023 06:55

pictoosh · 16/02/2023 06:52

Well I agree with you even if no one else does. She's pregnant, not special and precious and to be obeyed.
Of course this is mumsnet where pregnant women are to be positively exalted.

It’s not about anyone being exalted. It’s about displaying decency and kindness to someone else who is struggling.

Jerabilis · 16/02/2023 06:58

im visually impaired and have balance issues. Normally I can cope with standing in public transport but sometimes I can’t. I remember once trying to get home from work as a migraine was coming on and the train was rammed. No one would offer me a seat.

When I fainted and hit my head on a rail going down they had to call an ambulance which resulted in a massive delay not just to that train but several others behind. I hope the passengers who refused to give up a seat for me might be a bit more generous in future.

Supergirl1958 · 16/02/2023 07:01

SkivingSnackboxes · 16/02/2023 05:41

@Ursuladevinia82 I'm not stewing just pondering. Am I allowed to do that or must every post on Mumsnet need to happen within a certain period? Perhaps you could apply to Mumsnet to be their independent advisor on whether something has been 'too long' to be posted

Sounds entitled to me! I went to the cricket World Cup a few years ago when I was pregnant, I’d had my 20 week scan by that point but only just. I stood up on the way home because it was busy but made sure it was in a pocket of space. Can’t stand this “I’m pregnant, I’m entitled to everything” stuff!! Unless she had pg related sciatica then there was nothing wrong with being stood up!!

pictoosh · 16/02/2023 07:02

"It’s not about anyone being exalted. It’s about displaying decency and kindness to someone else who is struggling."

Like all the other people struggling to get on the tram she was refusing to unblock? Pffft.
Again, she's not special.

ThePixiesTookIt · 16/02/2023 07:03

SkivingSnackboxes · 16/02/2023 05:41

@Ursuladevinia82 I'm not stewing just pondering. Am I allowed to do that or must every post on Mumsnet need to happen within a certain period? Perhaps you could apply to Mumsnet to be their independent advisor on whether something has been 'too long' to be posted

Grow up ffs
I doubt very much she shouted "I can't be touched" and if she did she obviously has mental health problems and you seem to have a problem with women.
Best of luck with that.

Sierra26 · 16/02/2023 07:05

Maybe she lived near where the rugby was and was just trying to get home (that used to be me living near a stadium and it was awful).

the fact none of the families (who presumably had able bodies) offered her a seat is really shocking. She probably felt extremely sick or light headed (I can’t be touched when I feel sick)

ThePixiesTookIt · 16/02/2023 07:06

webuiltthiscityonrockandwheat · 16/02/2023 06:42

When I live in Moscow my friend got on the underground with his pregnant sister and an old lady hit a younger man with her umbrella until he gave up his seat. Sometimes people need prompting, someone should have let her sit down

Brilliant, it's the only language some people understand.

CrystalCoco · 16/02/2023 07:08

Thankfully there are many more compassionate and empathetic MNetters around on this thread than you OP.

The thought that not a single person gave up their seat for this woman (who was clearly struggling) is absolutely disgusting.

Nimbostratus100 · 16/02/2023 07:10

pictoosh · 16/02/2023 07:02

"It’s not about anyone being exalted. It’s about displaying decency and kindness to someone else who is struggling."

Like all the other people struggling to get on the tram she was refusing to unblock? Pffft.
Again, she's not special.

its not a case of being "special" - she just had a different need at that time

BeautifulWar · 16/02/2023 07:10

Could be MH issues, could be dramatic - who knows!

I contended with the central line Mon-Fri and didn't feel the need for hysterics - just stood by the door to make a quick exit if I need to. She obviously wasn't prepared for it to be busy though.

If the kids/elderly people got up, she would have been just as likely to have someone falling into her lap when it the was a sharp brake!

picklemewalnuts · 16/02/2023 07:14

I'm really surprised by the expectation these days that DC sit.

It used to be that little ones sat on your lap, and bigger ones stood near you holding on/being held. Sometimes you might squeeze a mum and two/three dc in the space where two adults would sit.

pictoosh · 16/02/2023 07:15

She just had a 'different need'?

Wtf does that mean? What of it? The people trying to get on the tram had a need to go to where they were heading. Who knows how great or different their need was?

Preggy doesn't trump everything else. Don't be feeble.

BlueHeelers · 16/02/2023 07:15

The only people sat down were kids and old people and the families didn't offer her a seat.

Children should not have been sitting down when there are adults standing, particularly a pregnant woman. Parents should be teaching their children this thought for others.