Random man in restaurant

[Theblacksheepandme]

I'm in a restaurant tonight with my husband and daughter. The restaurant ended up being quite pretentious and in hindsight we should have left and gone somewhere else. The manager made us feel unwelcome and was very unfriendly.

We went for a wine tasting with our food. Wine was excellent but the food was just ok.

There was a couple of obnoxious men in the restaurant which were quite loud. One was with his wife and spoke loudly on his knowledge of wine. In all fairness she was just as bad. He was even on his mobile for 10 minutes while in the restaurant.

We noticed that the manager that also attended to our table was fawning over them. We weren't asked if we wanted dessert or tea or coffee.

The bill came to €160 and when we were paying, the manager asked if everything was ok. I replied that the food wasn't great and that I didn't think they were as good as they obviously think they are. I told him service was terrible and while other people were asked if they would like dessert, tea/coffee, that we were not.

We got up to leave and the man that knows all about wine got up approached me and told me that I didn't need to be so loud in addressing the manager. I asked my husband and daughter if I was loud and they said not at all. Their table was behind ours. He didn't think once to go over to the man at the other side of the restaurant to tell him to stop being loud. He didn't even recognise that we could hear every conversation he was having.

AIBU that this random man had no right to tell me how to behave. I am so angry and upset by this and feel so stupid that I allowed him to ruin my night. He also walked away immediately once he had his say in order to not allow me to reply. I ended up calling after him to mind his own business and called him a pretentious idiot (not my finest moment). His wife looked at me when I was leaving and then looked at my husband and said good luck with that.

🍿

Sounds like they knew each other maybe?

What did your husband say ?

Random guy walked off and went to the loo. When his wife said good look with that my husband told her that it was un called for that her husband spoke to me like that. He told her that he had no right in telling me how to behave. He also complained about the food and service when I was complaining to the manager.

I'm not being smart but what does that mean?

Definitely didn't know each other as they arrived after us and he didn't appear to know them at all when he showed them to their table.

Ahhh
Just random twats then

It all just a little bit embarrassing isn't it

Yes, I agree. I just felt he wanted to silence me while he was quite ok being loud himself.

The random guy is a twat. Good for you for telling the restaurant your honest opinion, there is incredible fawning over ‘good’ restaurants and many are all hype without substance, I had a similar experience myself recently and without sounding pretentious I know quite a bit about fine dining and have a relatively refined palate but I was given a detailed explanation about why I was wrong when I said I wasn’t impressed overall. Do you mind me asking how old your daughter is? Some places like this don’t like children

She's 15 .

They are just up themselves then. Especially as you shelled out for the wine pairing as well.

Random guy the owner??

In experiments, when teachers ensured both girls and boys had equal talking time in class the boys and the teacher reported that it felt to them like the girls were talking 90% of the time. The researchers pointed out that this implies the expected benchmark is for girls to be talking 0% of the time.

According to some people living in the past you are expected to be silent! I'm glad you didn't get that memo😂

That made me giggle. My husband would say I definitely didn't get that memo.

Random guy definitely not owner. We are away on a city break and random guy was a tourist like us.

I'm chuffed to hear that! Excellent news that your daughter won't get the memo either.

This is a good age to talk with her about how women are expected to be quiet and here is the perfect example of how social pressure is exerted by complete strangers to 'keep women in their place'.

Why is it that men never say anything to the man that accompanies the woman????? Why is it always the easy option for them to have a pop at women (assuming its because they believe we wont stand up for themselves) , what a weirdo, I'm glad you stood your ground

Why is it that men never say anything to the man that accompanies the woman?????

Well if he is just sitting there quietly what should be said to him? From her account her husband didn't say a word to the manager, so why would random man have targeted him?

You mean like the OPs husband who complained to the other woman about her husband's behaviour?

So many people feel entitled to get involved in other people's business. You just met an entitled asshole, don't worry about it anymore OP, good luck to her dealing with him!

Have a read up further where I said my husband most certainly did complain to the manager also.

My husband had no intention of saying anything to the other woman until she looked at him and said good luck with that meaning me when I stood up to her husband. My husband then replied to her. Random man was in the loo and we were leaving. I was ahead of my husband going out the door and didn't hear her say anything. My daughter and husband heard. My daughter told me she was quite nasty in how she said it. She obviously approves of her husband giving advice to strange women.

You should post a review of what happened.

Also, that woman was a bitch. She said what she said to deliberately upset you and give a reaction.

Post a review. There are businesses out there that are prepared to work.

Or restaurant critic/wine columnist from the local paper?