Random man in restaurant

[Theblacksheepandme]

I'm in a restaurant tonight with my husband and daughter. The restaurant ended up being quite pretentious and in hindsight we should have left and gone somewhere else. The manager made us feel unwelcome and was very unfriendly.

We went for a wine tasting with our food. Wine was excellent but the food was just ok.

There was a couple of obnoxious men in the restaurant which were quite loud. One was with his wife and spoke loudly on his knowledge of wine. In all fairness she was just as bad. He was even on his mobile for 10 minutes while in the restaurant.

We noticed that the manager that also attended to our table was fawning over them. We weren't asked if we wanted dessert or tea or coffee.

The bill came to €160 and when we were paying, the manager asked if everything was ok. I replied that the food wasn't great and that I didn't think they were as good as they obviously think they are. I told him service was terrible and while other people were asked if they would like dessert, tea/coffee, that we were not.

We got up to leave and the man that knows all about wine got up approached me and told me that I didn't need to be so loud in addressing the manager. I asked my husband and daughter if I was loud and they said not at all. Their table was behind ours. He didn't think once to go over to the man at the other side of the restaurant to tell him to stop being loud. He didn't even recognise that we could hear every conversation he was having.

AIBU that this random man had no right to tell me how to behave. I am so angry and upset by this and feel so stupid that I allowed him to ruin my night. He also walked away immediately once he had his say in order to not allow me to reply. I ended up calling after him to mind his own business and called him a pretentious idiot (not my finest moment). His wife looked at me when I was leaving and then looked at my husband and said good luck with that.

Frankly, you all sound as bad as each other.

@dramakween that is fascinating, I’d love to read more about that. Do you know how to find the study?

I very much doubt a critic/columnist would have approached the OP.

More likely to be someone who is up his own arse and having a mere woman questioning something he's fawning over is just too much.

Post a detailed review.

Where was this? I need to make sure to avoid all participants in the future.

Yes you should do this.

I hate this kind of boorish, obnoxious know it all. Usually a man, rarely a woman, who thinks they are entitled to interfere in other people's business. Hope you gave the restaurant the review it deserved

😉😉

Why would they? It was the OP who made the comments. I think he behaved like an absolute tosser by trying to tell her what she should and shouldn’t be saying, but surely addressing her husband instead - essentially “Can’t you keep your woman in line?” - would be far worse?

What did the OP do that was “bad”? Dare to complain about sub-standard service?

I'm with you OP.
I also have this tendency to walk out of restaurants if I don't like what I see. I realise this isn't normal behaviour but it's saved me plenty of grief. I've been seated, ignored and then decided to simply leave. Why sit there and be ignored?
I won't let my husband take me to fancy restaurants or cafes 1) because I'm a gob on a stick and would be fighting my corner if another diner made a rude comment or telling them they need a muzzle or something along those lines 2) I'm a home bird and like my own surroundings.
DH took me to an expensive place and they didn't give me any carbs, just a steak on its own and I asked the waiter where the potatoes were to which he looked worried and shrugged. Then they gave me burnt chocolate pudding and charged me loads. We made a pact to avoid expensive places.

If I was in this restaurant and saw this scene play out I'd feel mortified and probably dine somewhere with more refined customers in future.

You all sound dreadful. It sounds like you complained in a really unhelpful way and basically had a hissy fit because you were jealous of the service otherwise were you receiving. Who complains by saying to restaurant staff ‘ you are not as good as you think you are’, just ridiculous

It means grab the popcorn and watch the comments.

The random man sounds like a prick. I don't do fine dining. I love my food but very much so meat and 2 veg or a good curry but fair play for saying something

Agreed, you all sound awful. You deserve each other!

For those interested in gendered use of talk time etc, read Deborah tannern books

I think you was a lot politer then I would've been,what a pair of prats, sod the pair of em!

Love how your husband had a go at the woman rather than wait for the man to come back and speak to him. So so brave, having your back like that! Well done to him! 👏👏👏

Yep, so Unbelievably rude.

You were very rude in the way that you complained. Was there really any need to tell the manager that "they weren't as good as they obviously think they are"? A simple "tbh the food wasn't great and we weren't offered coffee or dessert" would have sufficed.

I reckon the obnoxious bloke was a regular (hence the fawning) and didn't like the way you spoke to the manager. I work in hospitality and you do build a sort of relationship with regulars, you care about them and they care about you. I can imagine some of our regulars getting involved if they thought someone was being horrible to one of us. I think that his wife was unnecessarily nasty though, there was no need to make personal remarks. But then again, you made a personal remark to the manager in saying that they weren't as good as they think they are, so you're all as bad as each other imo.

I think you sound wonderful, strong and not afraid to express an honest opinion.

Really odd that you even noticed a fellow diner was on his phone for 10 minutes.
I think you were just looking to find fault with the whole experience.

Yes, this. You’re not blameless in this scenario.

Sounds like you were being a bit obnoxious with your childish "You're not as good as you think you are" comment, and are raging that you were called on your rudeness.
Not sure why someone else being loud really excuses your behaviour?

She's just pissed because the manager wasn't fawning over her too.

They expect the thread to descend into vitriol and mayhem on both sides and are looking forward ti watching the carnage.