Random man in restaurant

[Theblacksheepandme]

I'm in a restaurant tonight with my husband and daughter. The restaurant ended up being quite pretentious and in hindsight we should have left and gone somewhere else. The manager made us feel unwelcome and was very unfriendly.

We went for a wine tasting with our food. Wine was excellent but the food was just ok.

There was a couple of obnoxious men in the restaurant which were quite loud. One was with his wife and spoke loudly on his knowledge of wine. In all fairness she was just as bad. He was even on his mobile for 10 minutes while in the restaurant.

We noticed that the manager that also attended to our table was fawning over them. We weren't asked if we wanted dessert or tea or coffee.

The bill came to €160 and when we were paying, the manager asked if everything was ok. I replied that the food wasn't great and that I didn't think they were as good as they obviously think they are. I told him service was terrible and while other people were asked if they would like dessert, tea/coffee, that we were not.

We got up to leave and the man that knows all about wine got up approached me and told me that I didn't need to be so loud in addressing the manager. I asked my husband and daughter if I was loud and they said not at all. Their table was behind ours. He didn't think once to go over to the man at the other side of the restaurant to tell him to stop being loud. He didn't even recognise that we could hear every conversation he was having.

AIBU that this random man had no right to tell me how to behave. I am so angry and upset by this and feel so stupid that I allowed him to ruin my night. He also walked away immediately once he had his say in order to not allow me to reply. I ended up calling after him to mind his own business and called him a pretentious idiot (not my finest moment). His wife looked at me when I was leaving and then looked at my husband and said good luck with that.

What made you think that the whole restaurant heard what I said to the manager? Just because random man at table beside us decided to tell me how to behave doesn't particularly mean the whole restaurant heard what I said to the manager. In fact when I did say what I said, the manager asked me to repeat as he couldn't hear me.

Yes of course I am giving my version of events. What do you want me to do, go into the managers, other couples heads in order to give their version?

The manager asked you to repeat what you'd said as you were speaking so quietly, yet they could hear you one table over?

This story is constantly evolving…anything to make OP seem the wronged one.

Yes, that’s my favourite aspect of quite a few long running AIBUs.

Out of interest, has anyone come across poor behaviour by staff in restaurants, department stores etc? It seems to me that we have to just accept it. Perhaps you have all been lucky enough to come across perfect customer service in retail and hospitality? I have said time and time again that my delivery in what I said to the manager could have been better. I have also described the managers behaviour and he was quite unpleasant towards us. Perhaps in hindsight I wanted to be a little unpleasant back, considering we were nothing but courteous and polite towards him all night. Childish perhaps I know.

I definitely didn't shout or raise my voice as explained in my previous post. We had paid and he asked if everything was ok. The manager sighed when I said what I said and asked if we want dessert tea/coffee now, in which we replied no thank you.

Manager walked away to get our coats and random man decided to tell me how to behave. I also admit that I shouldn't have called after him but I am so sick of men telling me what to do the older I'm getting. I am also sick of the way they do it by not allowing women to respond.

It would seem so. Very unedifying tale, made worse by op 😂'ing all over the place at posters questioning all the oddities.

Good for you speaking up! Nice review to be left for the pretentious twats I think.

It'll be cancelled out by the random man's review detailing what really happened.

Good for you for telling the restaurant that you were unhappy with the food and service, and for attempting to stand your ground with the random man who addressed you then ran away.

Out of interest, how am I all over the place? I have answered everyone's questions as much as I can. Do you not tell something to a friend and they say "hang on I need more detail"? You then add to the original story when they ask for more detail or delve into what happened. Another friend listening might ask something else which you will have to elaborate more again from the original conversation.

You were posting 😂 emojis at posters when they asked for more info.

You all sound dreadful.

I was asked the same question again and again at one stage by a couple of posters. Can you show me where I posted only an emoji and not given any responses to the questions?

Because random man would definitely be truthful compared to a woman.

But the truth appears to be that you behaved badly. That's what's coming across in your posts, even though you're obviously biased in your own favour.
Even your spin on it doesn't make you sound any less obnoxious.
There's a way of conducting yourself in public even when presented with a problem.

Insulting people and yelling after retreating backs across a room isn't it.

I already said that my delivery of what I said to the manager should have been different.

I already said in hindsight that I shouldn't have called after random man to have my say.

All in all I should have just ignored random guy and delivered a better feedback to manager.

I certainly dont think when I said the above in previous posts that it makes me want to appear the wronged one.

I don't disagree with you. I seriously need to work on this. I have not had a great upbringing. When I am treated badly now I sometimes react badly. I thought I was getting better but fucking menopause isn't helping either.

I think you should just move on now. This thread can't be helping you at all.

Unpleasant end to a expensive evening, at least the wine was good. That man and his wife deserve each other just be thankful you aren’t them 🤭

"Yes of course I am giving my version of events. What do you want me to do, go into the managers, other couples heads in order to give their version?"

Witty. But no. I meant that, even hearing your subjective version of events, I think you behaved badly.

Which part?

I already said that my delivery of what I said to the manager should have been different. Aye.
I already said in hindsight that I shouldn't have called after random man to have my say. Completely disagree! You must ALWAYS challenge White Knights. Wine man had a neurotransmitter hit which resulted in him injecting himself into your situation. (What happens is a special set of words suddenly appears within them and they become compelled to speak them - almost as if they can't go on UNLESS they speak them). Problem is, that when the neurotransmitter rush ends a few moments later, it leaves behind a strong sense of fear/anxiety - so they run away afterwards. He's SCARED of receiving your response. That's why he ran. That's why they all do. That's why you MUST respond. Although insults are not the best way... unless you're specifically looking for violence (that works too btw).
All in all I should have just ignored random guy Nope. You laugh at them. After all, they exist only to entertain the rest of us... eg.

(THEDEACON · Yesterday 20:57)
'Random guy was simply a misogynistic small man His kind don't like the little women speaking up Never change I would have responded when I want your opinion I shall ask for it BUT don't hold your breath' - An excellent response!! (Although I may have said 'Your Mom didn't mind me being so loud last night!')

Wow! 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Er... what? 🤨

Please tell me I'm not the only one who started googling "mansplaining / injector neurotransmitters" and the like.