Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Red rose to all women at work?

198 replies

Tuilpmouse · 14/02/2023 23:09

So, a guy a work decided to bring in a bunch of around 20 red roses and proceed to give one to each woman in the office for Valentines Day.

AIBU to think this is a bit weird and creepy; or is it a kind and generous gesture?

OP posts:
Vitriolinsanity · 15/02/2023 11:44

I would have been chuffed to bits. What a nice thing to do.

Idkrealorfake · 15/02/2023 12:19

Reminds me a bit of Alan Partridge giving a valentine's day chocolate orange to all the women he knows under 50 😆

Atethehalloweenchocs · 15/02/2023 12:34

I think it more likely to be sweet than creepy but depends on the person. Not because I am desperate for male attention, but because kind thoughts and gestures are kind.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 15/02/2023 12:34

I think it's a nice gesture. No one (and certainly men) can do anything nice anymore without it being seen as creepy or weird.

BentleyRhythmAce · 15/02/2023 12:37

I think it was probably done with good intentions. It's quite sweet.

MelaniesFlowers · 15/02/2023 12:45

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 15/02/2023 12:34

I think it's a nice gesture. No one (and certainly men) can do anything nice anymore without it being seen as creepy or weird.

Exactly. And then you have all these women whining about how there are “no nice men anymore”.

No shit Sherlock. If you piss on any nice gesture they try to do why would they bother to make the effort when you’re going to go off on one anyway?

Original poster
Tuilpmouse · 15/02/2023 12:59

Frabbits · 15/02/2023 10:08

It's probably well intentioned and I would leave it at that.

(It is a bit weird though).

Having reflected in this, I think I find more weird and bizarre than offensive or creepy, though I don't think the guy's intentions were malign.

Mixing up what is essentially a romantic gesture into a friendly one is just strange.

OP posts:
CementTrucker · 15/02/2023 17:30

Exactly. And then you have all these women whining about how there are “no nice men anymore”.

I find it nicer when colleagues don’t treat me differently because I’m female.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/02/2023 17:41

Tuilpmouse · 15/02/2023 12:59

Having reflected in this, I think I find more weird and bizarre than offensive or creepy, though I don't think the guy's intentions were malign.

Mixing up what is essentially a romantic gesture into a friendly one is just strange.

Show quote history

But V Day isn't just about romance and sex, unless you think all those cards to people's pets and their kids is meant that way. . I mean you can still dislike the sexism of him doing something he considers nice for the females but not the males, but I don't think friendly is a massive leap from V Day these days

Blossomtoes · 15/02/2023 17:47

MelaniesFlowers · 15/02/2023 12:45

Exactly. And then you have all these women whining about how there are “no nice men anymore”.

No shit Sherlock. If you piss on any nice gesture they try to do why would they bother to make the effort when you’re going to go off on one anyway?

Show quote history

This.

IWonderWhyIBother · 15/02/2023 18:01

FeinCuroxiVooz · 15/02/2023 10:24

plenty of women are sexist too, unfortunately. there is a long way to go before real equality.

Until women are equally as sexist as men, heaven help us.

WingingItSince1973 · 15/02/2023 18:05

I would have rather it been a cup of tea or a cake 😂 But then I don't do VD and have always found these single red roses cheesy. That's just me. I would have graciously accepted though as I don't like to hurt peoples feelings x

Hbh17 · 15/02/2023 18:08

Creepy and sexist.

booboo82 · 15/02/2023 18:14

🤦‍♀️

LikeAStar1994 · 15/02/2023 18:18

People who think this is creepy are just miserable. I think it's lovely.

I can't be arsed to trawl through the entire thread but I bet you anything the remark "I bet he wouldn't give a man a rose" has made an appearance Hmm

How quickly people seem to forget that we all originated from a man 🙄

Dyrne · 15/02/2023 18:24

I wouldn’t necessarily find it creepy; but I would find it highly in appropriate in a workplace setting. The combination of “women only” and red rose (traditionally seen as romantic) if what tips it over for me.

cakewench · 15/02/2023 18:38

See I think the bit about 'mixing romantic gestures with non-romantic' doesn't bother me as much because I'm from the US and we've totally turned Valentine's into a commercial exercise. When I was little we'd give little cards to everyone in the class, and parents would give you gifts or toys as well. (In fact, I've just read from a friend that it's gotten even bigger; now parents are bringing cuddly toys and balloons to children in school to be dropped off! So they have a delivery at school of Valentine tat! It sounds a bit performatively competitive now) In High School you could pay to have a flower sent to friends etc, was a fundraising thing and very popular to do.

That's a tangent to say, I don't viscerally find it strange that someone would give me a plutonic flower at Valentine's day, but I can appreciate that other people might.

It does also greatly depend on the person doing the giving.

tillyandmilly · 15/02/2023 18:39

Very thoughtful- but I don’t like roses!

NeverDropYourMooncup · 15/02/2023 18:40

rc22 · 14/02/2023 23:39

If he wanted to mark valentines day at work, perhaps more appropriate to bring chocolates or a cake that people could help themselves to if they wanted.

As somebody with Celiac and hates chocolate, I'd rather have the plant, thank you.

TheNoonBell · 15/02/2023 18:52

You will miss the old fashioned gentlemen when they are gone.

Popplcroft · 15/02/2023 18:57

Exactly. And then you have all these women whining about how there are “no nice men anymore”. No shit Sherlock. If you piss on any nice gesture they try to do why would they bother to make the effort when you’re going to go off on one anyway?

hear hear. Us women should all be grateful some random man we work with deigns to give us a red rose to show how we are attractive and lovely women. I mean lots of us might not get anything otherwise so we should be especially grateful. How romantic he is!

gogohmm · 15/02/2023 18:57

I think it's sweet

ConfusedNT · 15/02/2023 20:45

MelaniesFlowers · 15/02/2023 12:45

Exactly. And then you have all these women whining about how there are “no nice men anymore”.

No shit Sherlock. If you piss on any nice gesture they try to do why would they bother to make the effort when you’re going to go off on one anyway?

Show quote history

Maybe because I'm not particularly interested in men I am working with making sure they perform in a way thats seen as a 'nice man' like the kind I might want to date

I would much prefer it if they would treat me as a colleague and get on with their job

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread