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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Red rose to all women at work?

198 replies

Tuilpmouse · 14/02/2023 23:09

So, a guy a work decided to bring in a bunch of around 20 red roses and proceed to give one to each woman in the office for Valentines Day.

AIBU to think this is a bit weird and creepy; or is it a kind and generous gesture?

OP posts:
doghaironeverything · 14/02/2023 23:27

Far out OP. He was just being nice.

maddy68 · 14/02/2023 23:28

It's a kind gesture .. he's not singling anyone out. Why do people always think bad of everyone these days

whytesnow · 14/02/2023 23:28

That's so thoughtful!!!!

maddy68 · 14/02/2023 23:28

summerinthebigcity · 14/02/2023 23:27

I would find it not so much creepy as inappropriate and patronising. For one thing, I’m lesbian.

Lesbians don't like flowers?

Silvergone · 14/02/2023 23:28

Creepy

summerinthebigcity · 14/02/2023 23:30

You can’t see the difference between liking flowers and not liking being given a red rose by a man on Valentines day?

ConfusedNT · 14/02/2023 23:31

Oh come on can some posters not really understand why, in a hetronormative society, a lesbian might be uncomfortable with a gesture that is normally construde as romantic from a man on valentines day

I mean it doesn't take much intelligence to work out why that might make someone uncomfortable instead of going 'but lesbians can like flowers'

So can men but he wasn't giving men flowers was he

EnglishGirlApproximately · 14/02/2023 23:31

I wouldn't find it creepy but I would cringe so much, its just so try hard. Cheesey.

canteditme · 14/02/2023 23:31

Condescending, do men not like flowers too?

magicthree · 14/02/2023 23:32

Kind and generous - but I'm not the kind who looks for ulterior motives in every gesture.

CheeseDreamsTonight · 14/02/2023 23:32

My boss did this once in a small office and it was equal measure sweet and weird. I still don't know how I feel about it!

AlwaysLatte · 14/02/2023 23:33

Aw that's lovely!

xogossipgirlxo · 14/02/2023 23:34

Don’t know what to think of it, but it’s not creepy IMO

Twilight7777 · 14/02/2023 23:34

I think it’s a sweet gesture but can also see why it might be perceived as creepy.

rc22 · 14/02/2023 23:35

I think it depends. If he is usually a kind, generous person who generally treats female colleagues with respect then he's just doing something nice. If he tends to be a creepy character, I would feel uncomfortable with it.

ironingboredrefusal · 14/02/2023 23:36

Why only to the women and not to everyone?

rc22 · 14/02/2023 23:39

If he wanted to mark valentines day at work, perhaps more appropriate to bring chocolates or a cake that people could help themselves to if they wanted.

Pixiedust1234 · 14/02/2023 23:40

A colleague giving out red roses on valentines day (both are "romantic) would be creepy and very inappropriate.

Original poster
Tuilpmouse · 14/02/2023 23:41

LexMitior · 14/02/2023 23:27

Oh come on you can be lesbian and like flowers

What about men though? They can like flowers too?!

OP posts:
Nimbostratus100 · 14/02/2023 23:41

I would just say no thank you

Emmamoo89 · 14/02/2023 23:42

Lovely gesture

Bubblebubblebah · 14/02/2023 23:43

rc22 · 14/02/2023 23:39

If he wanted to mark valentines day at work, perhaps more appropriate to bring chocolates or a cake that people could help themselves to if they wanted.

Well no, because
Does he not think of people who can't/don't eat sweet?
Does he not think of people with food allergies?
Does he not think about people on diet?
Does he not think cake can be traumatic because uncle's third cousin's friend was beaten to coma by a cake?
Does he think everyone likes that particular cake?
😁

Luredbyapomegranate · 14/02/2023 23:44

Creepy

Or more charitably old fashioned in a bad way

It might well be meant well.. but he’s a colleague.. it’s feckin weird

Original poster
Tuilpmouse · 14/02/2023 23:45

ironingboredrefusal · 14/02/2023 23:36

Why only to the women and not to everyone?

Exactly. Why just give women flowers? If it's not a romantic gesture, then why not everyone! If it is a romantic gesture, then it's bizarre. I just can't get my head round what he was thinking?!

OP posts:
LexMitior · 14/02/2023 23:47

Well... here's the thing. Any of those women could have refused.

It's a flower. Maybe heteronormative but as someone who is not, I don't find it objectionable. I've had men give me flowers. I wasn't interested but I couldn't really find it within me to get offended.

If you are saying the flower giver is a heteronormative sexist creep then be done with it

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