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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Red rose to all women at work?

198 replies

Tuilpmouse · 14/02/2023 23:09

So, a guy a work decided to bring in a bunch of around 20 red roses and proceed to give one to each woman in the office for Valentines Day.

AIBU to think this is a bit weird and creepy; or is it a kind and generous gesture?

OP posts:
Mummadeze · 15/02/2023 07:31

I would have thought ‘what a weirdo’ and everyone would probably laugh behind his back. It would definitely make him look out of touch and unprofessional in my work environment. If he brought in cupcakes of something like that, it would have been received much better. A rose is so weird though. What are you even meant to do with it?!

SummerWinds · 15/02/2023 07:33

I think it's kind and thoughtful, especially if you are widowed like me and totally overlooked.

SequinsandStilettos · 15/02/2023 07:38

I'd have been delighted personally -it's just a nice gesture on a contrived hallmark day designed to make many feel shit bitter,moi and yes, whilst like Miley, I can buy my own flowers and often have to it would have been a nice thing for me.
Worst you can say is he should have bought 20 yellow ones for the men as well but many (not all) I know, are meh about valentines/yellow roses in general. Many women I know would have appreciated the pick-me-up, except one I know would have been bolshy.

CTRALTDEL · 15/02/2023 07:39

Weird and creepy! What did he give the men?? I’m gay,
and also wouldn’t have appreciated a rose from some random bloke at work.

NamelessNancy · 15/02/2023 07:41

Valentines day is a celebration of romantic love so I don't think this is appropriate in the workplace and wouldn't like it at all. Like others I'd feel differently about a gesture on international women's Day as the focus is on (in)equality rather than romance. I wonder if the split opinion here is similar to that between women who find "compliments" from random men flattering and those who consider it to be harassment.

MelaniesFlowers · 15/02/2023 07:41

YABVU. It’s a lovely gesture.

Christ you can’t do anything these days without offending someone 🙄

IndiaDreamer · 15/02/2023 07:42

MelaniesFlowers · 15/02/2023 07:41

YABVU. It’s a lovely gesture.

Christ you can’t do anything these days without offending someone 🙄

You've just offended me by saying that!

GrinGrinGrinGrinGrinGrin

BluebellBlueballs · 15/02/2023 07:43

It would depend on what he was normally like, in the absence of already thinking he was a nice guy I'd think it was a bit cringe/ creep but not sufficiently to get offended. Harmless if done with the right intentions

BrilliantUsername · 15/02/2023 07:50

Butt licking.

Appleskypietoday · 15/02/2023 07:52

Ick

Bayleaf25 · 15/02/2023 07:52

Another vote for creepy and inappropriate.

plumduck · 15/02/2023 07:53

Completely patronising and sexist

SunnieShine · 15/02/2023 07:54

I wouldn't like it.

CementTrucker · 15/02/2023 07:55

I’d think it was a lovely thing to do if he’d given everyone in the office a red rose.

But I want to be treated with respect in the office as a colleague, not a Lady Colleague.

My soul shrivels a little every time I get put in the lady box, whether that’s someone sending an email that addresses people as Ladies or a male colleague assumes (despite all visual evidence to the contrary) that I must be in love with shoes and shopping.

And the whole flowers on IWD sucks. It’s meant to be about celebrating women’s empowerment and success, but, no, it has to be prettified for the fairer sex. Because we all know ladies like flowers, don’t we?

DillDanding · 15/02/2023 07:56

Utterly smarmy. Can’t imagine what kind of creep would do this.

ThePoshUns · 15/02/2023 08:00

Not creepy at all. Sometimes people do nice things because they are nice people. Get over yourselves.

MenopausalMe · 15/02/2023 08:00

Patronising and inappropriate

Greenfairydust · 15/02/2023 08:14

I think it would have been nice to give everyone a rose, including the men!

I would find that sweet. Giving flowers to the women only is a bit naff.

plumduck · 15/02/2023 08:15

@CementTrucker Totally agree

neverbeenskiing · 15/02/2023 08:18

I would find this patronising and awkward. If he wanted to make a "nice gesture" he could have bought a bunch of roses and put them in a vase in the office for everyone to enjoy. Handing an individual rose out to each woman seems very attention-needing. It's something Kevin from Motherland would do.

FordCreek · 15/02/2023 08:22

It’s complete inappropriate in a work setting as he singled out the “wimmin” like we need to be given a flower on Valentine’s Day?! Just cringeworthy and sexist.

Justalittlebitduckling · 15/02/2023 08:22

🤮

thehorsehasnowbolted · 15/02/2023 08:25

It would depend on the man

heatdeath · 15/02/2023 08:35

Completely naff, cringey & icky. Patronising, inappropriate & bizarre.

How is he expecting the little wimmin to react? Giggle, flick their hair & blush? Grim.

Phos · 15/02/2023 08:54

Why is it creepy? It's not like he seemed to have an ulterior motive. He was more than likely trying to be nice and hadn't received the memo that according to MN a man can't do such things without being treated with the utmost contempt and suspicion because all men are assholes.