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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Red rose to all women at work?

198 replies

Tuilpmouse · 14/02/2023 23:09

So, a guy a work decided to bring in a bunch of around 20 red roses and proceed to give one to each woman in the office for Valentines Day.

AIBU to think this is a bit weird and creepy; or is it a kind and generous gesture?

OP posts:
Original poster
Tuilpmouse · 14/02/2023 23:48

Well this seems to have split those commenting right down the middle! 😮

OP posts:
summerinthebigcity · 14/02/2023 23:48

V funny. V different if it’s there for all to take or ignore, vs giving it to all women (but not men), and by the sounds of it giving them individually so awkward to refuse.

Alexandernevermind · 14/02/2023 23:48

Flowers = sweet. Thongs = creepy. I've had both handed out to the women in the workplace.

summerinthebigcity · 14/02/2023 23:50

Bubblebubblebah · 14/02/2023 23:43

Well no, because
Does he not think of people who can't/don't eat sweet?
Does he not think of people with food allergies?
Does he not think about people on diet?
Does he not think cake can be traumatic because uncle's third cousin's friend was beaten to coma by a cake?
Does he think everyone likes that particular cake?
😁

Show quote history

V funny. V different if it’s there for all to take or ignore, vs giving it to all women (but not men), and by the sounds of it giving them individually so awkward to refuse.

oviraptor21 · 14/02/2023 23:51

Inappropriate and awkward.

AllTheThingsIWantAreHere · 14/02/2023 23:53

CrapBucket · 14/02/2023 23:14

If any of the men at my place did this I would be very uncomfortable.

It sounds very Swiss Tony.

That's such a funny thing Tom say. I love Swiss Tony.

I don't think it's creepy but it's naff and I wouldn't like it.

SleepingStandingUp · 14/02/2023 23:53

I think it depends in on the guy.
I can think of guys I used to work with where it would be sweet, him just doing a gentlemanly thing. I can think of guys where it would be meant sweetly but would end up a bit cringe. And we all know guys where it would come across creepy and like he was hoping for a gratitude bonk in the stationary cupboard.

TyneTeas · 14/02/2023 23:53

At best well intentioned but misjudged. Inappropriate for the office. Is a bit objectifying.

Margot78 · 14/02/2023 23:55

I personally would enjoy getting something nice from a colleague- maybe people are uncomfortable because it’s a red rose, which is traditionally supposed to be for the person you love. Maybe pink or yellow roses might have been a nice gesture without the romantic connotations. I would have been happy to get a nice rose to put on my desk for the day. Probably wouldn’t let dh see it though in case he got the wrong idea!

SelinaKant · 14/02/2023 23:55

It's lovely. It's not "creepy".

SleepingStandingUp · 14/02/2023 23:57

Tuilpmouse · 14/02/2023 23:45

Exactly. Why just give women flowers? If it's not a romantic gesture, then why not everyone! If it is a romantic gesture, then it's bizarre. I just can't get my head round what he was thinking?!

Show quote history

If you're looking to be offended then I'd go for sexist over creepy. He seemingly thinks ladies should have flowers on V Day regardless of their sexuality because for him it's not a sexual act. He doesn't fancy you. He isn't looking for a blow job after lunch. He's just doing something gentlemanly.

Vgbeat · 14/02/2023 23:57

I think it's lovely. I think it would make a lot of people smile 😃

SuitsYouSirS · 15/02/2023 00:03

Gross

SuitsYouSirS · 15/02/2023 00:06

Swiss

Red rose to all women at work?
newfriend05 · 15/02/2023 00:07

I think it's sweet .. not creepy at all !

xprincessxjanetx · 15/02/2023 00:09

Different strokes for different folks.

Personally, I would not like this.

SheSaidHummingbird · 15/02/2023 00:11

I would love this.

slamfightbrightlight · 15/02/2023 00:11

Depends on the man and on the office culture. In some places it would be fine, in others creepy

Grizzledstrawberry · 15/02/2023 00:22

Roughly how old is he? Just because I could imagine a older man thinking it was a gentlemanly thing to do. I've had a elderly man stop traffic at a crossing for me and two other women before, we all gave each other a look and had a little chuckle (out of earshot) but i didn't think badly of the man, thought it was weird but kind of sweet.

I can see why you think its a bit weird though, I don't think it's offensive, just slightly odd, maybe he was thinking of it along the lines of a small act of kindness.

Isithotinhere · 15/02/2023 00:27

Inappropriate and creepy in any workplace.

Aquamarine1029 · 15/02/2023 00:29

summerinthebigcity · 14/02/2023 23:27

I would find it not so much creepy as inappropriate and patronising. For one thing, I’m lesbian.

Lesbians don't like flowers?

HedgehogB · 15/02/2023 00:30

SuitsYouSirS · 15/02/2023 00:06

Swiss

I’m just enjoying this thread for Swiss Tony tbh

harrassedmumto3 · 15/02/2023 00:31

Wouldn't bother me at all Smile

Notimeforaname · 15/02/2023 00:33

Dont think its creepy if hes not a creep in general. Nice thing to do for the day that was in it.

sandyhappypeople · 15/02/2023 00:35

Maybe he’s got a secret crush on Brenda in accounts, and the only way to give her a red rose would be to give one to everyone!

Sneaky old sausage!

I’d actually like this, maybe he knows some people feel left out on valentines or maybe they’re widowed or their husbands don’t give a hoot, or maybe he’s a widower and misses giving gifts on valentines, I like to think I’d give him the benefit or the doubt.. unless he was known for being a raging perv of course!

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