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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Red rose to all women at work?

198 replies

Tuilpmouse · 14/02/2023 23:09

So, a guy a work decided to bring in a bunch of around 20 red roses and proceed to give one to each woman in the office for Valentines Day.

AIBU to think this is a bit weird and creepy; or is it a kind and generous gesture?

OP posts:
DramaAlpaca · 15/02/2023 00:39

I'd find it odd and inappropriate

Aldisfinest · 15/02/2023 00:43

I think it's a nice gesture

Onnabugeisha · 15/02/2023 00:43

Oh come on can some posters not really understand why, in a hetronormative society, a lesbian might be uncomfortable with a gesture that is normally construde as romantic from a man on valentines day

Im bisexual. I had a gf give me roses on Valentine’s Day. St Valentine is all about secretly marrying those for whom it was illegal to get married. In his day, it was Roman soldiers, but recognising an early saint that felt everyone should have the right to marry isn’t just for heterosexuals.

Josette77 · 15/02/2023 00:46

My girlfriend gave me a bunch of flowers.

I think this is sweet. 💗

nalabae · 15/02/2023 00:49

Some of you so uptight

TrishM80 · 15/02/2023 00:50

Weird, creepy, condescending and patronising. "The little girlies in the office will love getting a red rose".

Plus there's probably an ulterior motive that he's trying to get into some of their knickers.

Jemandthehologramsunite · 15/02/2023 00:50

That's so lovely, you are very sad to have taken something negative from this! I feel sorry for you 😞

MistyGreenAndBlue · 15/02/2023 00:53

TrishM80 · 15/02/2023 00:50

Weird, creepy, condescending and patronising. "The little girlies in the office will love getting a red rose".

Plus there's probably an ulterior motive that he's trying to get into some of their knickers.

This is my take too. I'd be annoyed more than anything.

LadyJ2023 · 15/02/2023 00:55

Oh for goodness sake why do some women read into things for nothing. What's creepy he did a nice sweet thing and gave you all one exactly whats meant for valentines

SouperNoodle · 15/02/2023 00:57

I love roses so I'd think this was really nice.

BillieJeanmm · 15/02/2023 00:58

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Previously banned poster.

BethFromThisIsUs · 15/02/2023 00:58

I dunno it’s a bit…”somebody shag me”

FeinCuroxiVooz · 15/02/2023 01:04

i would really hate that, and assume the person doing it was fundamentally sexist and heteronormatively biased too so avoid having to deal with him as much as professionally possible.

as far as possible, with the exception of adjustments that are made to counterbalance the disadvantages that women unavoidably have, I do not want to be treated differently to male colleagues. I hate it when men are congratulated with a handshake and women with a hug (this happens regularly), also seen men given wine and women given flowers. it doesn't matter that it's intended as a nice gesture, the underlying assumptions that prompted it are offensive.

StClare101 · 15/02/2023 01:14

If the person was genuinely nice, I’d accept it with the intent with which it was given.

If he is a sleaze it would be a no thanks.

Anotherparkingthread · 15/02/2023 01:27

I think it's a lovely gesture.

I feel like all the joy and good intentions can be sucked out of life by some people.

I'm sure it wasn't meant with any ulterior motives, he just thought he was being nice.

NumberTheory · 15/02/2023 01:39

It’s a nice gesture. And I hate it.

Mouldyfoodhelp · 15/02/2023 01:42

NumberTheory · 15/02/2023 01:39

It’s a nice gesture. And I hate it.

😂😂😂that's a classic sitcom line

Mouldyfoodhelp · 15/02/2023 01:44

Think it depends on the person and the work place

TortolaParadise · 15/02/2023 01:59

Tuilpmouse · 14/02/2023 23:09

So, a guy a work decided to bring in a bunch of around 20 red roses and proceed to give one to each woman in the office for Valentines Day.

AIBU to think this is a bit weird and creepy; or is it a kind and generous gesture?

Inappropriate but not creepy.

IneedcoffeeinanIV · 15/02/2023 02:02

I think it's nice. UNLESS, he's a general creeper

TortolaParadise · 15/02/2023 02:08

FeinCuroxiVooz · 15/02/2023 01:04

i would really hate that, and assume the person doing it was fundamentally sexist and heteronormatively biased too so avoid having to deal with him as much as professionally possible.

as far as possible, with the exception of adjustments that are made to counterbalance the disadvantages that women unavoidably have, I do not want to be treated differently to male colleagues. I hate it when men are congratulated with a handshake and women with a hug (this happens regularly), also seen men given wine and women given flowers. it doesn't matter that it's intended as a nice gesture, the underlying assumptions that prompted it are offensive.

This is addressing similar issues to those raised on another thread about 'being mistaken for a PA'.

Led9519 · 15/02/2023 02:09

My cousin might do something like this thinking it was nice and not at all inappropriate, but he has Asperger’s. Wonder what the guy is like that did it?

Wildfloral · 15/02/2023 03:07

It's a bit weird, but probably intended to be sweet. Is he a bit on the sensitive side? It seems like something boys might do in middle school, so in some ways, he could be a little be (innocently) immature.

Or he's just showing off and likes to be seen as 'the good guy'.

keeprunning55 · 15/02/2023 03:26

It’s a lovely gesture. Don’t other think it.

Aurorabored · 15/02/2023 03:37

Odd.