Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum gone ballistic!

172 replies

Pandermonium · 14/02/2023 18:26

So my daughter just had her 11th birthday, she asked to have her hair cut (was down to her bum, but getting dry and ratty).
In town so decided to let her do it, she chose a style and had it cut below her shoulder. It looks beautiful and she's really happy with it.
Her grandmother saw it (my mum) and blew her top. Saying she didn't want it cut and made my daughter cry.
I told her she was out of order, it's not her hair and not her decision.
She has now blocked me.
So who's being unreasonable?

YABU: you went against the grandmothers wishes, shouldn't have allowed her to cut her hair.
YANBU: your daughter, your choice.

OP posts:
funnelfan · 14/02/2023 18:27

You have to ask?!

theswoot · 14/02/2023 18:28

I feel like this one is obvious, of course YANBU. Your daughter wanted it cut and you, as her parent, agreed with this. Why would grandma get a say? Is there something I’m missing? Cultural significance, religious observance?

PennyFarthings · 14/02/2023 18:28

I'll go with option 3. Nothing to do with either of you, her hair, her choice.

Royalsingingseal · 14/02/2023 18:28

Actually I would say at 11 it’s mostly your daughters choice within reason. Bit of an overreaction from your mum. Hair grows back.

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 14/02/2023 18:28

YANBU. It's nobodies choice but your daughters! It's her hair!

Your mum sounds terribly dramatic.

Hankunamatata · 14/02/2023 18:29

Surely u know your mums behaviour is totally weird

gold22 · 14/02/2023 18:29

You know who is BU

acidreign · 14/02/2023 18:29

Obviously YANBU! Your mum has absolutely no say in this, and even if she did it'd still be really horrible to make your daughter cry about it. Properly out of order behaviour from your mother, and shows a worrying lack of boundaries.

BMW6 · 14/02/2023 18:30

She's bang out of order. FFS it's your daughters hair so she gets it cut if she wants!

Console daughter and let Mum stew. When she approaches you demand she apologise to DD.
If she won't then block her.

The outrageous nerve and nastiness of her 😡

FictionalCharacter · 14/02/2023 18:30

She was way out of order. Why does she think she can dictate what her granddaughter (or anyone else) does with her hair?! She maybe doesn’t realise it, but she’ll drive her GD away if she behaves like this. Your poor daughter.

1FootInTheRave · 14/02/2023 18:31

Wtf does grandma think she is?

It'd be a cold day in hell before I made contact with the mad bitch.

Aquamarine1029 · 14/02/2023 18:31

Your mother is batshit.

Original poster
Pandermonium · 14/02/2023 18:31

No, nothing like that. Just a very overprotective/controlling mother.

OP posts:
JimHensonWasAGenius · 14/02/2023 18:31

Is this one of those wierd family dynamics where your daughter is really your sister or something?

Otherwise, what has it got to do with your DM and why do you need to ask randoms on the internet such an obvious question?

OhCobblers · 14/02/2023 18:31

funnelfan · 14/02/2023 18:27

You have to ask?!

Yes exactly?!

DeadbeatYoda · 14/02/2023 18:32

You need to give your mum a good talking to, what a nasty thing to do to your daughter. Is your mum usually prone to selfish, childish outbursts?

Ilikewinter · 14/02/2023 18:32

Oh bloody wow....what a cheek!! I wouldnt attempt to contact your DM at all and when she comes crawling back I'd 1000% give her what for....and I would expect an apology to your daughter.

VintageThoughts · 14/02/2023 18:32

Why on earth are you even asking this question?

Your DM sounds bonkers.

maddy68 · 14/02/2023 18:33

Just ignore your mum. She's made your daughter feel shitty about her own choice and appearance. Out of order

Original poster
Pandermonium · 14/02/2023 18:33

gold22 · 14/02/2023 18:29

You know who is BU

Yes absolutely I do. But I'm hoping (should we ever have contact again, and right now I am seriously considering cutting all ties) showing her this will make her realise she was way out of line.

OP posts:
rainbowtwist · 14/02/2023 18:33

Well when she decides to unblock you use it as an opportunity to teach your child how to remove toxic arseholes from her life.

MajorCarolDanvers · 14/02/2023 18:33

You surely must know the answer.

Testina · 14/02/2023 18:33

Why are you even asking?
Is it because you wanted the traffic of AIBU?

DiddyHeck · 14/02/2023 18:35

funnelfan · 14/02/2023 18:27

You have to ask?!

This place is getting more and more ridiculous by the day, honestly.

EyesOnThePies · 14/02/2023 18:36

What ridiculous behaviour.

Who on earth prioritises hair over a relationship with their daughter and grandchild?

Not someone loving and caring.