To think parents who let their kids 'play out' are just completely abdicating responsibility for their kids' behaviour?

[MaybeIWillFuckOffThen]

We have a little walled playground near our house - little climbing frame, slide, stepping stones, toddler swing, very clearly aimed at a young primary/pre-school audience.

It's currently being completely taken over by a huge group of 10-12 preteen/early teen boys playing very rough games of football with real leather footballs. The bang the balls off the walls and hoof them in the air so they go careering everywhere at speed, they run around roughly after the ball pushing and shoving each other and getting in other people's personal space, they fight and shout aggressively and swear. Not a parent in sight of course so no-one to appeal to to get them to moderate their behaviour/find a more suitable venue (like say the massive park 5 minutes walk away). I've had a word now and again but generally just get mutinous stares and/or backchat. I can't really take my kids (2 and 6) there to play any more as it isn't safe for them and the atmosphere is so aggressive.

Why do people just turn their kids out of doors with no idea where they're going/what they're doing? It makes it impossible for other parents - either they have to tell your kid off for you (immediately in the wrong) or they simply have to either put up with inappropriate, loutish behaviour or give way to it and leave.

I don't think anyone should be aggressive. Girls can and should play football if they want to. I just don't see them doing it, so if they are they aren't doing it in the toddlers' playpark. Thankfully. And god knows girls are loud, I did a whole post about by own 6yo girl being loud as fuck to the point of being antisocial and what I am trying to do to moderate it.

People trying to paint me as a sexist are really barking up the wrong tree. But hey ho. I think it must be hard for boy mums when their children start getting sucked into the macho, boorish culture foisted on males in our society, just as it is cringey for me when my daughters start going wild for pinkness and princesses and asking me (oh my god) if a nurse is a lady doctor because of the cultural indoctrination of femininity they are prey to. I don't believe any of this is inherent; which is why I give my girls examples of women in every walk of like to look up to and imagine themselves as as best I can, and why I don't shrug off this kind of inconsiderate behaviour as 'boys will be boys'.

I think the thread hasn’t gone the OP’s way (“”You are so right OP those nasty bits being awful around your darling daughters their parents are awful and you’re brilliant” was probably the expected response) so the events are getting more and more embellished.

I bet a ball once, yesterday (with it being half term most places) coated past her 2yo within a 10m radius and she went all bossy teacher on the boys who didn’t immediately scarper. And that’s all that’s happened.

Use. It. Then.

My DD plays for a local team and they had a “parents match for fun”. Some of the parents were ridiculous - you’d think they were in a World Cup final. I wish their mums had been there to tell them to stop being twats (like my DH indelicately did when he got shouted at for being tackled by a woman)

this

You can provide a good framework but they need to learn themselves. This inevitably involves making mistakes and testing boundaries as they start to separate from parents The point is to facilitate their independence - it's a process, it takes time. No one emerges from childhood as a fully formed responsible adult with perfect decision making skills without going through this learning process themselves.

Wait until your daughters hit the age you're complaining about. You'll be wishing you had boys for sure 😄

That's not really the OPs problem is it? Anyway she says there's a big park 5 minutes away.

It is appalling that some posters here are actually defending a boys right to hoof a ball in to a toddlers face!!

Jesus. No wonder we have the daily posts on here from women with awful entitled abusive male partners. Join. The. Dots.

But they don't. There are no walls on that bit, just banks of mud (bordered by a so called 'shrubbery' of scrubby bushes) so not as much fun to crack the ball of of I assume. If they were back there I'd have no problem because there's nothing for my kids to do at that end.

3rd time - do you use the park in school time ?

Keep an eye on them. It's hardly rocket science.

So, @Prettybutdumb

Let's get this straight. The op should take her toddlers away from the toddler play park designed for toddlers to go to play on the grass in the massive football pitches public park, designed for children to play football in?

I understand your frustration OP but believe me,no teen wants their parents there supervising while they are with their mates.

It is appalling that some posters here are actually defending a boys right to hoof a ball in to a toddlers face!!

Jesus. No wonder we have the daily posts on here from women with awful entitled abusive male partners. Join. The. Dots.

Read. The. Posts. Again.
Literally no-one has said that.

Well bloody said!

Anyone who thinks it’s a perfect process in parenting - I will say/do X which will result in Y and that is the formula that will work - will fail.

Well then in turn it’s not the boys’ problem that the OP wants the whole park to herself. There’s more facilities nearby

Women's football is getting more and more popular so maybe they will be out there kicking a ball.

I'm surprised there is enough space to play football from your description, if it's that small and has a little climbing frame, slide, stepping stones, toddler swing where are they actually playing football?

Except. That’s. Not. Happening. Is. It.

Im not gonna get angry about an imaginary situation that hasn’t happened

I have 2 boys in n this age frame. They do not behave like this and if the did they would be punished.

So you’re saying they start a match in a tiny space between playground equipment, to the point they are fast and rough, and they don’t have a problem with that?

Im calling bullshit

Tricky one OP but I disagree with your sweeping statement that ‘parents (of these kids) are abdicating responsibility.’
Others on here said that they may well have parents who are strict and talk to them about responsibility and consideration for others. From my experience (18 years in education) most parents are like that!
But kids need time to put this into practice and parents need to allow kids freedom in different levels as they grow. To have parents take turns to watch them at the park is not going to happen! My kids would’ve been mortified and I always trusted them to make good choices when they went out locally with friends. And I totally feel offended if you think this meant I was abdicating my parental responsibilities.
It must be annoying for you I get that.
On a side note, my sister’s husband messaged me to say my sister was upset as my kids hadn’t messaged her to say happy birthday. I said I take absolutely no responsibility for that (they are now 26 and 31.) She is totally deluded but that’s another story! Am I abdicating responsibility here too?
Give them wings, let them fly and hope they don’t piss too many people off along the way!

I wonder if this gives an insight into Mumsnet demographics. Baby crying in restaurant (while parents probably quite stressed about being unable to stop said baby crying) = unacceptable behaviour from baby and parent.

10-12 year olds smacking footballs around toddlers = great parenting.

How do you know? Are you with them 24/7?

At teenage age? While you knit - can’t you see how ridiculous that is and how damaging and stifling to a child’s growth? They aren’t just learning and growing at age 2 and 6 I’m afraid and a key part of childhood is teen years (which maybe you’d have benefitted from so you didn’t spend your time alone singing on the beach!)